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    HEY!  NO LAUGHING!  I COOK...really.... I do cook.  Most of you have just never experienced it because I don't cook for myself on a normal, everyday kind of schedule.  I like cooking when people will eat, but to go to all that effort AND expense for myself....why?  It doesn't make sense.  I prefer to stimulate the local economy, provide jobs for high-school students and seniors, spend my time eating instead of shopping, and let the local grocery store pound sand.  Why go to the store, get all the stuff, come home, put it away, dig it back out, cook it, wash and wipe up afterward, store left overs, throw out all the left overs later, throw out all the unused ingredients (because nothing comes in a size for one person), and pay WAY more for all that, when I can pay less for a better balanced meal and don't have to do any of the prep, storage, or cleanup!  Makes better sense to me. 
     Ok, so you are asking yourself why I even have a kitchen with double ovens, cook top, dishwasher, microwave, and a big refrigerator?  Easy.  Vivian.  Now she's a cook!  and.... she makes me Chicken Picatta JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT (Which irks dad because he doesn't like it at all.  Chicken!?? NO way; NOT right!  Where's the BEEF, he says!!!.)  What better arrangement than that!??
     Besides, the frige holds all the condiments and drinks so I always, AT LEAST, have mustard!  Are you listening Australia!??  Sheesh... I can't believe they don't have MUSTARD in a burger joint!  It's Un-American!  (....she says indignantly, then pauses...) oh... yeah... ok.... Keep forgetting I WAS in a FOREIGN country.  Really, my Aussie pals, take it from me and another, more famous (or infamous) American, Martha Stewart; mustard is a GOOD THING.
    Tanya's younger brother, Chris, came over and we took two cars to O'Rielly's, a bird sanctuary in the rainforest.  Dad and Tanya went in Chris's car.  Mike and the kids and I went in their car.  The place is south of Brisbane (so they tell me, because I can't get it straight.) about a two hour drive into the mountains.
    It still bugs me that my sense of direction was all messed up "down under". 
    The mountains are a lot like the Valley Springs area of California.  We passed lots of farms or ranches.  The roads are more like the backroads in the gold country; single-lane each way. Everything here looks vaguely familiar, but WRONG somehow.  The country looks like the foothills of California, but instead of live oaks, the trees are eucalyptus.  Instead of manzanita, other similar brushy bushes.  There is grass too, but not the wild oats and wheat we have.  It is strange, but feels like home.
     We went through a little town that reminded me of Mariposa on the way to Yosemite.  Then, started up a VERY WINDY (WINE-DEE not WIN-DEE) ROAD.
    Ok.  We REALLY need to talk about the definition of a "road" and the definition of "traffic". 
     Up to now, the public roads were just like the ones we travel in California,, but not as many of them and not as many lanes as we are used to here, and not as many cars on them..  "Traffic" there is HEAVEN to drive in.  It moves, even when there are cars all around you. NO BIG DEAL.  Oh, there are lots of (weird brand) cars and driving on the wrong side of the road would take practice, but traffic?  Naw. That ISN'T "traffic".
     The roads we had been on up to this point, were, well, just roads.  Four lane (two each direction) freeway, except where it crosses the river, then there are only three lanes. This is where it gets interesting!  There are lights above the lanes to tell you which direction you can travel.  If the light over your lane is green, you are going the right direction, never mind which side of the road it is.  If it is red, you are in the wrong lane and will meet oncoming traffic!  During the "commute" (do you hear me laughing!!!????), two lanes coming into the city are "green" one is "red".  That means that if you are crossing the bridge heading south, into Brisbane, you have two lanes to use; if you are crossing the bridge heading north, out of Brisbane, you have only ONE lane to use.  In the afternoon, the situation is reversed.  Two lanes green heading north, one lane red; One lane green heading south, two lanes red.  Get it???!!!!???  NO???  Well, just remember, no matter what side of the road you are used to driving on, when you cross that bridge, just stay in a lane that has a green light over it and you are ok.  If the light switches to red at any point, switch lanes to a green one.  Simple as that!  Just remember, my hair is only DYED blonde, this light designation thing really WARPED my brunette, American, California DMV mind!         Ok... I digressed from the "roads" topic with the bridge thing, but we really need to talk about the "roads" from the little town up to the bird sanctuary. 
     In the Australian country side (or as they say, "the bush") it is DECIDEDLY NOT like our country side here in California in some important (to me) ways. 
     If our experience was indicative, and it was according to the locals, in Australia, a "road" is any (nominally discernable) path through "the bush" wide enough for your vehicle.  Paving is optional.  A flat and even surface is optional. Clear of vegetation is optional. In fact, if the vegetation (including trees) ISN'T scraping the sides of your car (which may or may not still have paint on it, and may or may not still have the mirrors and door handles intact), you are probably on a freeway, not a "road". 
     We were on a "road".  Our "road" had a lane going in each direction.  How do I know?  Because, the vegetation was beaten back (by tires running over it) as wide as two cars, side by side.  There was a three foot strip of "paving" down the middle of this rutted trek with a faded (nearly invisible) lane designation (dashed) line running smack down the middle of the paving, AND we were passed at 60+ mph (100+ km, MATE!) by vehicles going the opposite direction!
     Picture this:  Two cars, travelling in the same direction at 50-60 mph.  The right wheels on paving, the left wheels on dirt/gravel/unfortunate vines or grass.  Another vehicle approaching(ancient, foreign, beat-up, rusted, loaded with spare parts like tires, water, gas, rope, etc. looking like it came straight out of a National Geographic Safari documentary) passes you going 60+ mph in the opposite direction, two right wheels on pavement (on their side of the "line"), two wheels kicking up dirt/gravel/unfortunate vines or grass.  Welcome to the "road".
.... hmmm I am surprised that all this detail didn't get into my Journal.  I really MUST have been too tired to write....
    There were "farms" sparsely located and pretty soon I noticed something.  No electric lines.  Tanya told me there aren't any water lines either.  They have to generate their own electricity or do without.  They collect rain water into big tanks, which I thought were for the animals.  Nope.   Ewwww.  I am not prissy, but I don't think I want to live in "the bush" if I have to drink out of one of those.  And washing....well... why bother?
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