Luna Melancholia � September 30, 1999 ~ 2:30 a.m.
In the midst of this aloneness� at the very peak of this midnight wandering� I found the urge to devour poetry� I�m hungry for metaphors. I thirst for drops of chants and spells� I invite the spirits to play around with this wilderness inside my bruised heart� poetry is for lonely souls indeed� for those some pretending to be merry� and so at this very hour� just before the dawn breaks� I invaded my private self�turning away from the beckoning pillows and mattress of dreams� conquering the realm of unreal� �sandman� is waiting for me there� he is rake-thin, with skin the color of falling snow� here�s a piecemeal to munch�
More often now, I find solace in the company of my own shadow as I walk hand in hand with the hovering phantom which is my own, spreading its dimming figure within the wide stretch of the abandoned brick wall I used to pass by more frequently alone� My shadow, guards my every move, lights my path undirected staying with me through my restless evening strolls as I search for my dreams already lost in the ripeness of the night. How I have often wished to sling them one by one as I spotted them resting high above the dark barren sky like glimmers of stars flirting with the fat bright moon dancing above me as if teasing me in my solitude I urge to bring them back in my midst but they�ve gone so high now, afar from my grasp, growing so distant and indifferent each night. Those dreams have become more like my own shadow, my ghost of missed chances haunting me awake at the bite of midnight when I am most alone�highfall solitude (Sept �99)
Do you feel lonely too? Or are you happy somehow? Ha! Better sleep on this� Tears won�t fall forever (the crow)