| Celebrity Lum Shelter |
| Brian Cant is the unmistakable face of "Play School" and "Play Away", we are honoured to have this major league lummer of 70's & 80's childrens TV in this weeks CLS. "People always ask me about Play School & Play Away and they say to me that I made a right cunt of myself on those shows. I have to agree with them. I looked like a cunt." "People also after mentioning my cunt-like antics, bring to my attention the fact that my surname is only a vowel away from being cunt. This too I can't disagree with." "What people don'r realise is that I am a 40 a day lummer, and I look cool as fuck with it. These pricks that call me a cunt don't realise that inbetween the recording of "Play School" and "Play Away" scenes, I was round the back of the Sheperds Bush studio lumming like a fucked tractor while getting a gam from Floella Benjamin. Fuck me, that bitch can suck root! I used to go back into the studio and wipe my dick on Big Ted." "I was rattlin' her for a couple of years then that dick, Derek Griffiths shagged her in the toilets at a Christmas party. The cunt rubbed my nose in it good and proper by commenting each morning at rehersals how Floella had sucked him dry that morning. I got him back by wanking in his coffee." "I had a long standing feud with Johnny "egg-head" Ball. He was always trying to scrounge lums from other cast members. The tight-fisted prick was prime suspect in the theft of lums from the cloakroom. I knew it was him because I saw the "Silk Cut" writing around the filter of one of the snouts he was dragging on, my fuckin' brand. I challenged him about it, he made some bullshit about scrounging it from Griffiths. I knew for a fact that Griffiths was partial to Superkings, so I decked the wee cunt." |
| Brian Cant |
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