This week we have one Britains most popular entertainers. Star of "Night Out At The London Casino", "Name That Tune" and the ever popular "Cross Wits", put your hands together for, TOM O'CONNOR!
"Great to be here, you know this reminds me of when I was on This Is Your Life, back in 1977. I think it was Eamon Andrews that did it or Aspel or whoever. I can't recall that well as I was out of my tits on a barage of coke that I had freshly snorted off some bints tits moments before being lead on stage."
"I don't know if you emember this, but back in those days I was prime-time talent. The 70's was my time, my rise to fame. My proudest moment was doing a stint at the Royal Variety Show at the London Paladium. I can't remember who the fuck was performing along side me that night, but I sure I was top of the bill. The Queen was there, I remember that."
"Before I was a famous comedian, I was assistant headmaster at St Joan of Arc School in Bootle. It was there that I started on the lummys. I was running a lucrative snout trade with a few of the kids. They were finding it problematic getting served at the local tobacconists, so I stepped in to help, charging them over the odds for the service. The influx of extra cash allowed me a generous budget to spend on my own tabs."
"I did a bit of experimenting with different brands. Embassy No1 was a firm favourite for a while, but like my fellow celebrity lummers, it just isn't fashionable in these circles to be seen without a high class or imported lum."
"These days I indulge in a fine american brand, Lucky Strike. I think they sum me up to a tee, I'm lucky and I strike up the laughs wherever I go.
See you latter now." |
