| Celebrity Lum Shelter |
| In this week's C.L.S. we have a house-hold name of popular entertainment, Terry Wogan. "It's really nice to be here in the celebrity lum shelter, I've been a a lummer since the tender age of 7, when I pilfered a snout from me old dad. He was lying drunk in his own piss, so I helped myself to a couple of his Woodbines. He was never one to turn down a drink and he spent all the families money on beer and lums. "I'd have to say that I'm a bit of a John Player Special man. I think that the gold on black design reeks of class. I first became accostomed to them in the early days of my chat show during the 80's. I had been lumming on Regal Kingsize, but I found that they were a bit common. All the wee minks from the Top Of The Pops audience would drag on them. I couldn't be associated with a lum that had that kind of reputation. Ronnie Corbett was sympathetic to my plight, he recommended JPS to me, as it was his own brand. I was surprised to find it a luxuriant lumage. Ronnie certainly knows his lumbaggio's. "I love doing the radio these days. I found it hard getting through a whole chat show without a couple of lums, but when I'm on the radio or doing commentary for the Eurovision Song Contest, I can quite happily lum my way through a party pack of JPS." "I remember when Bucks-Fizz won Eurovision back in that year when they won it. I was close to tears with the emotion of it all, I was down to my last two lums and the night was only starting. I tried to srounge a snout off that Mike Nolan, but the tight cunt wouldn't part with his poxy Silk Cut's. Cheryl Baker is a lovely girl but she's not a lummer, so I told her to stick the Eurovision up her arse while she fucked off. Bobby G was no help either, I had to belt his mouth for saying that smoking was bad for you. I ended up pinching the fags from someones jacket. They were mingin' Kraut fags, so I lifted his wallet at the same time." |
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| Terry Wogan |
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