[6:]

The school day had at last ended, and the students had made there way home. The residents of Kuro Manor, however, were greeted with a pile of rubble and a few standing rooms. Strangely, no one seemed to notice, much less care.

Karen was carried home by a helicopter, and dropped somewhere near the pond in the back yard. This inspired Yuki to declare a group swim, since the living room and kitchen had been obliterated and there was not a single TV left in one piece. The Evil Washing Machine of Doom hated TV�s and made sure to destroy all of them.

The girls changed into their bathing suits quickly and hurried out to the pond. Stacie tied Alfredo�s lifeless body to a plank of wood and let him float around. For the first time in his life, Tsurugi passed up the chance to go swimming with a group of half-naked girls and decided instead to do his homework. The bush beside him peed itself after he made the announcement, either out of shock or because that particular bush hadn�t peed in a while.

It took Yuki, Stacie, Rika and Chelsea�s combined strength to roll Karen�s inflated body into the pond, where she floated dopily for the majority of the endeavor. Rika laid on her stomach and stretched out to tan. Chelsea mysteriously disappeared for the next few minutes.

�Wow,� Yuki commented randomly, �This is surprisingly peaceful.�

�Yes,� Stacie replied, rubbing sun block into her skin, �I�ve never gone swimming here without at least one person blowing up. It�s a nice change of pace, you know?�

After several minutes of aimless floating and cute splashing, Yuki detected a very familiar and unwelcome smell. She sniffed the air curiously.

�The fuck is that smell?� she grunted.

�OMG, look! It�s Shiro!� Stacie cried, pointing dramatically to the house�er�rubble.

Shiro was slowly emerging, battered and beaten after being crushed by several tons of ceiling, from the wreckage that was once the kitchen. During its rampage through the house, the Evil Washing Machine of Doom found Shiro still glued to the ceiling. Deciding that Shiro was not as tasty as he initially appeared, the Evil Washing Machine of Doom had made him its bitch for about an hour before meeting its untimely demise at the hands of Puu�s poo.

�Damn, Shiro, you look like you just got raped by a refrigerator and then had a house dropped on you,� Yuki commented as Shiro dragged his battered body out into the yard.

�It was a washing machine�actually,� he mumbled.

�Hmm. What a disappointingly apathetic reply,� Yuki mused, �You know, I think you need a bath.�

With that, Yuki grabbed the screaming nerd by the waist and hoisted him onto her shoulder.

�I demand that you put me down!� he yelped.

A loud splash and a decidedly unmanly shriek followed that statement.

The afternoon passed quickly as Yuki and Stacie enjoyed themselves. Shiro was tortured mercilessly for being dirty and smelling bad. Rika was very much sun-burnt. The cool water had helped reduce Karen�s swelling ever so slightly, just enough for her to open her eyes so she could see all the fun that everyone else was having.

As the sun began to set, Rika�s heavily-burnt stomach let out a hideous rumbling that measured a 3 on the Richter scale. She was hungry.

�COUSIN!� she bellowed at Stacie, �MAKE FOODZ NOW!!�

�Oh my, I completely forgot about dinner! We were having so much fun,� she smiled fondly at Shiro, who was tied up and bleeding from the head, �But after whatever Yukei and Puu did to the house, I�m not sure if we have any food left. Everything was covered in�soap.�

Just then, a joyous squeal of delightfulness was heard coming from atop the hill. It came from Sister Chelsea, who was wearing a swimsuit that more resembled a modest wedding dress. She ran hurriedly toward the pond. Her dress thing inflated to be about the size of Karen once she was in the water. Stacie gasped.

�Oh my, look! Chelsea ran into the water, and it didn�t even get all polluted or turn to acid or anything!�

Sister Chelsea either ignored the comment, or she was too busy overflowing with bubbly goodness to hear anything but the bubbles in her head.

�I got you something, my dear Yuki!� the blond said with delight. Yuki�s face perked up.

�Is it edible?� the blue-haired teen asked excitedly.

�Only if you eat heavily starched high-collared long-sleeved shirts of modest goodness!� Sister Chelsea replied sweetly. She presented Yuki with an enormous, poofy, frilly green shirt. The collar went up past the ears; it was tight, tight enough to flatten Yui�s already flat chest; the sleeves were about as wide as Karen�s face.

�What the hell is it?� Yuki asked. She was bewildered at the very sight of the monstrous shirt.

�Why, it�s a swimming suit, silly!� Sister Chelsea replied, �I didn�t want you to burn up like an old piece of toast! Besides, it�s only prper for a girl to cover her�um�pillows, when out in the open. Wouldn�t want you to end up like Rika, would we?�

She motioned over to Rika, who was currently painting nipples on the outside of her flesh-colored bikini. Soon, Yuki was strapped into the Ridiculous Shirt of Ridiculousness and left to float around in her modesty.

�Um�thanks, Sister Chelsea�I think,� Yuki stuttered, �That�s very, er, sweet.�

�I know!� Sister Chelsea squeaked. With that, she turned on her heal and marched back up the hill overlooking the pond to give another glorious speech of nauseating holiness.

�Oh, my beloved friends, so lovely you all are. And guess what?! I found food! Lots and lots of delicious food!� she cried. The group was also suddenly overcome with joy as their stomachs began rumbling in unison.

�I was going about the rubbish, you see,� Sister Chelsea explained, �And I happened upon what use to be out pantry, and it was stock full of food! So, I did was any other sane warm-blooded girl would do��

�Put in on a plate and give it to Yuki?� Yuki answered hopefully.

�No, silly! I gave it all to the elderly patients at the veterans hospital!�

�EXCUSE ME?!!�

�Well, of course!� Sister Chelsea replied sweetly, apparently not noticing the veins protruding from Yuki�s forehead, �Those poor old people, all decrepit and stuff, they just sit there all alone, and they have to eat that horrible hospital food.�

�What what am I suppose to eat?!� Yuki roared, �Those geezers are all gonna die in a week anyway! I�ve still got years to go!! Now I�ll starve to death!�

�Oh, don�t be silly,� Sister Chelsea replied with a wave of her cute, holy hand, �I saved all the cans of beets. Just for you, my lovely friends!�

�BEETS?! WHAT THE FUCK IS A BEET?!!!�

�Excuse me, Sister Chelsea,� Stacie piped in, �Why not just give the beets to the elderly folks, since they can�t really tell the difference anyway, and save the rest for those of us who still have stomach linings?�

�It�s a CHARITABLE donation. I can�t possibly give them something that would kill them,� Sister Chelsea replied.

�Oh, someone�s gonna get killed alright,� Yuki roared.

Stacie escaped the pond shortly before it was swallowed up by an enormous explosion, caused either by Yuki�s attempt to kill Sister Chelsea or Rika�s sudden overwhelming resurgence of gas. The black-haired girl sifted her way through the half of the house that was still standing in search of Tsururgi, so she could inform him that there would be no dinner.

She found him huddled in a corner in one of the unused bathrooms, surrounded by 37 empty coffee mugs, scribbling something incoherent on a scrap of paper.

�Yusuke, I�m afraid we�ll have to--�

�What? CoffeE?! No! No, YES!� Tsurugi interrupted, �Yes�no, no I didn�t put too much coffee in my coffee. Coffee coffee and and and, and BUNNY RABBITS! YES, I love bunny rabbits. Gotta have those and OH and boobs! Yes, yes boobs! Love those, boobs are ESSENTIAL! Yes, oh this is genius, no no no, this SUCKS! Coffee? Yes, no, no more coffee---gimme some friggin� coffee!! God, I could really use some crack right now! I LOVE CRACK! Why did I ever quit--I WANNA BE A MONGOOSE! Yesh, that�s perfect. NO MOM, I WILL NOT BRUSH MY HAIR!! And, and, and and and and BOOBS! More boobs. No, no BUNNY bunny rabbits. And I need�um�ACTION! Yes, HOT COUCH ON PLANT ACTION!! With pudding! Cofffffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Coffee? Cup of coffee, coff of cuppy?�

��wow� was Stacie�s reply.