d-t: 280406 ; 08.47pm [ next ] [ prev ]
aba'y where're you na??
  Woi, kamusta ka na? Matagal na kitang hindi kinakausap.
  • The beach trip was, it was all I needed
  • But then, exam on Monday, oh boy.
  • Still had so much fun in south Luzon, Tagaytay, etc. After the first week of class!
  • And then, and then. "again and again and again"
  • After the beach I was really tired and burnt and had no more will to study, so I just went visited a friend
  • Can I just say: dark chocolate really hits the spot. And with biochem applications pa!
  • Calculus just got easier, but that doesn't mean it's gonna be this fun later on
  • Tuesday, went to Saguijo, wala lang, also really just wanted to see someone off
  • Where I met new friends, spent time with those I haven't been spending time with, and had fun in the van
  • And met darkside people and had "cab action", I think. Hahahaha!
  • I am bored bored and sitting and waiting and my lips are searching
  • And I'm really glad by the way, three out of four?! Hahahahaha.
  • Life just started to move, really move. And really fast. And I want it all;)
  • And I can't wait til the 8th, or maybe 7th
  • I miss my amo. Hahahaha! Let you give me a wet kiss? hahahaha.
  • Aand: some catching up, some getting things into the open, some developments with the parents, and cigarettes with my sister
  • Time to go!

Mga pagbabati: beach and tagaytay (cay, phoebe, lor, mel, lea, nyc, maryka, eric, etc); saguijo night people dami niyo!, rina, joey and owel, UP friends beni and tropang jai, kris;), arlene!, everybody
Sounds Taking Back Sunday - Miami
       
d-t: 210406 ; 11.27pm [ next ] [ prev ]
ang kailangan
  This is a calming time. I'm having a change for the better.
  • I'm studying integrals. These will turn your mind into a fine soup. Integration symbol get out of my life.
  • Of course you can't do integrals without first going back to the derivative, which turns your mind into a nice broth.
  • Three-hour classes everyday in a hot stuffy room will beat you down. It's been the first week, three to go.
  • But it's made more bearable by the fifteen-minute break, and abstract company.
  • I can still pull things off, and it paid to live like I did the past week. Very nice to know
  • Off to the beach in a bit. Finally!
  • It's just weird how this happened, timing and everything, and what I need is downtime. It would be unfair.
  • Although ako lang ang nagiisip nun.
  • Need lots of blank cds. Which I never seem to find time to buy. Yun "ang kailangan"
  • My sister got me the best shirt ever.
  • Career time has started up, don't matter if I'm not too strong against alcohol, although I used to be.
  • There are castles in the air which will never be manifest.
  • My absence is alright, it could mean something deeper. But under the skin, hopefully.
  • The burn felt like nothing at all.
  • And the gin was water.
  • Maging pirata na nga. Ha ha.
  • Take it with you!!! Which one? Whatever lousy thing.

Mga pagbabati: ryan, carla, nicco, josh, royce, jai, beni, gaye, ceej, ching, kaye, sandy, icybabe, mr reynaldo rey, gaillie, kris isaac, kris isaac's hair, kris isaac's car, the esse image model, carlos, neil, deeno, and randomly: daniela hantuchova
Sounds The Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days
       
d-t: 150406 ; 04.17am [ next ] [ prev ]
blackest saturday
  Just some thoughts after a lazy lazy night
  • See the rightmost Jean face on the banner? Chicpic is in the green eye pupil. Hasn't been updated in a while though.
  • And if you click Jean's dark eye near the left (beside the shades image), prepare for nosebleed.
  • I realize that the past few entries have the same effect.
  • It's just so hard to be interesting in Tagalog (for majority, anyway).
  • Just one good submission, you're back in the game.
  • Exploiting Unlimitxt is fun, may dahilan ka pa maging smug.
  • Mikki isa kang malaking kulangot alam mo yun? Pwede ba contact? Andun ka lang pala amo.
  • Lang'yang Tagaytay plan yan, naging Town.
  • Good Friday was not so good. I played cards, gambled, did not abstain, and was up late/early today.
  • Off lotion works, but only for 2hours max.
  • It's impossible to be seriously well-versed in more than three musical genres.
  • Seryoso ang song of the moment, pinlay ko talaga.
  • Softness, silky, soaring but anchored to the ground.
  • Steph's debut was, er, bigtime naman tong darkside na to.
  • 'Darkside' = elitista
  • It's good to grow up, sometimes you find you've grown far beyond those who used to advise you.
  • Quit it.
  • I wish to write a song now, but I don't want to wake anyone, and my mother's gonna be up soon anyway.
  • Eh darling who hit you, then?
  • Ba't hinanap bigla ang yearbook ko dito sa bahay??
  • Lor was probably much younger in the video, but looked the same. Aaaa, not aging ha.
  • It was bound to happen, just didn't want it to be tonight.

Mga pagbabati: Kris Isaac and Nikki Isaac, the other guy (forgot the name), gaillie, arlene, mikki, nicco, carlos, anjuli, mark, dana, lor, ate cay, dino, dale, neil, ryan, carla, rico, rest of eLeS, blah.
Sounds Frank Sinatra - The Way You Look Tonight
       
d-t: 110406 ; 05.45pm [ next ] [ prev ]
aaa some kind of profundity ha
  Commuting to Quezon City at 7.30pm on a Sunday became very interesting for me. I was in a so-so mood, not complaining (I couldn't really do anything about my wasted time last week), but neither thrilled at the idea. I didn't really think about it, but deciding to take public transport was easy to do. I'd feel too guilty about hogging the car until tomorrow and wasting gas (of course I'd take advantage of the freedom to go to every single building in the city which I call school). And way more realistically, asa pa akong posible talaga mangyari yun ehh, for a number of reasons.

I started off by bidding my sister farewell, taking a few last pieces of flak from dad on the way. Bought needed item (cigarettes), and waited for transport out of the village. This stranger was standing there, no doubt waiting for the same jeep as I was. So I asked him if he wished to split a trike because it looked like there weren't going to be any more jeeps. So we did, and a few months ago I would never have thought of doing that sort of thing. Pwede na akong rico romano eh. But when I commute, I just take solace in the fact that everybody else is thinking of their own safety, just like me. It helps to put things in perspective, reduce paranoia, and keep your thinking straight.

I rode an 'ordinary' bus (that's non-airconditioned to you autoboys and girls), at hindi sila nagbibiro na mukhang pwedeng tumaob ang bus sa bilis ng takbo nito. Maybe it's an effect of all the outside air coming into the vehicle, and worn-out suspension. Well, air-con buses also have loose coils, but the ordinary buses induce greater fear with the swinging motion. Kita mo kasi yung mismong kalye eh. I went down at Magallanes MRT station and it was the first time I ever boarded at that station.

I spent the trip exploiting globe through Unlimitxt, because I'm a bit paranoid of being deactivated if they notice too much cheating from me using the operator. Thanks for the abstract company: (i decided to just put you in the greetings part). I had more of the "pwede ba maligo ka muna bago ka sumakay sa tren" experience but I was too amazed with my decision-making process (and the way the trip was turning out to be) to really care. Na-imagine ko pa nga na ako yung tagaasar sa mga tao sa mtv boiling points tapos sinasabi ko "sir, you really stink, could you move?!" o kaya "di mo ba alam na dinadamay mo kami baka magkasakit pa kami dahil sa hindi mo pag-alaga sa kalinisan mo!" or other witty remark. Cubao station came without warning, as I was still texting several people and adding to my net gain from the 50peso unlimited thing.

I didn't smoke at Cubao anymore (I had planned to, down on street level). I simply crossed through Farmer's (which was still very alive at quarter to nine) towards Gateway (which on contrary was starting to close up, baka kase Sunday at holy week na) and boarded LRT2. For the first time in a long while I had a stored value ticket, and proceeded to show the people lined up the power of yellow tix! Actually I think I got on one of the last trains so there wasn't much pedestrian traffic. Blah.

While walking in Gateway I was hit by enough motivation to write all of those down, but right now I can't remember why. I just saw this couple and I was thinking, I'd like to have someone who would be like me. I can't really choose who I'd fall for, but there's the idea of someone who is stripped of all superficialities and self-righteousness. I've fallen for superficial girls, and also for self-righteous ones. I've been attracted to beauty, and also to personality. Now the past seems to be a joke, and I find myself looking for a way to push myself beyond this person, trying to turn myself into something much bigger and better than what's me at the moment. It's just that with all the turmoil surrounding me, these things are hard. And some of the things I've planned, and the ideas that I have, are very good. But they require something else, and that something would force me to step out of this, to take a step into a cloudy uncertain future. Risks are great, my father taught me that. The reward always surpasses what you would be left with if you play safe. But there is the human fear of the unknown. I've no problem with it, and we'll see if I can give myself this one thing.

Everything I've been through concerning feelings and someone special happened in the right order, I guess. First serious one taught me never to trust people with truths which could turn them into demons. After that, I learned that all the waiting in the world will never change something, specially if that's the only thing you're banking on. Truth hurts but it sets you free (cliche?), you'll gain friends pa. After that was weird. We were honest with each other, so much said and done in a such a short time. Para ngang bula eh, comparable to the eye of a storm. Calm, so still, parang walang nangyari. Tapos bigla bagyo nanaman pala, nagpatikim lang. But I learned to never take things for granted. Some things are too important to just let go. And I let that one go by deciding to follow my feelings. By the next one, I was so certain I would not give away more than I could receive. But it was a boyhood dream, call it a sick fantasy if you wish, and that closed it for me. I could possibly survive this kind of thing in the future, since this one taught me so much. Love is very very real, it overcomes obstacles and petty things. I could not accept being a petty thing, for a week. What it couldn't explain was the last one. And also the ending. And then along came a friend and showed me the truth. Thank you.

See you 05zobellians at Steph's. Let's all catch up.

Mga pagbabati: abstract company group during my trip here, salamat sa paglibang (Kris, Carla, Treeya, Jome, 'Cash', Mikki, Ceej, Jana, Lea); Rico Romano pwede na ba akong maging ikaw; Neil nakahanap ka na ba ng cable, apir pare; Dale na sana'y nakapag-ahit na ngayon; Carlos who has some stuff to pick up; Jello who should make me laugh; Gaillie who I have not seen in a while; all the fruits of my friendster and blog stalking.
Sounds Paramita - Porcelain/Sunrise
       
d-t: 090406 ; 02.40pm [ next ] [ prev ]
sometimes your castle's in the air
  Turmoil. I haven't been enjoying summer all that much yet, and what do you know, it's time to go back to school for summer classes next week. I was relieved by the grade I got in math, but not at all happy with it. (Insert rubbing in of your failures and shortcomings here). Yes, coming back here to visit my parents' household did no good for me, only heightening my already-high stress and distress levels. Tapos hindi pa nakapagstock, mukha tuloy akong sabik na sabik at kaawa-awa.

Going to Diliman last Thursday was a big big mistake. I didn't get to do anything at all. Simula palang, sa PNB building, ang haba ng pila solid. Since I had lots more on my agenda, decided to put off for tomorrow the payment of the id which I lost during the voting season. Pumunta naman akong lib, and obviously it was closed for shelving and inventory (kakatapos lang ng school kaya yun), so my overdue fine will just keep getting larger and more unmanageable. And anyway wala naman akong id kaya hindi ko rin maibabalik ang book at hindi rin makakapagenrol dahil hindi cleared, blah, all those things which I don't really care about right now. And the grades were not posted, and the OUR was not cooperating, walang nagiihaw ng tenga ng baboy, tapos wala pa akong nakita na tao. It sucked big time. So uminom nalang kami kela Ange. Realization hit when: "huy! Unang Hirit na!"

What was interesting, however, was that my sister visited me in Loyola Heights last Friday, spent the night there, got really inebriated and sleepy. Sobrang dull sa Sunrise, wala talagang tao dun. Creepy, but also very conducive to studying, if you like that kind of thing. Friday also was 'confused balls' day, because of a friend.

I came back here yesterday, and feel like I have to leave again today. It's enrolment tomorrow for summer class, and I'm doing it manually, so I have to be there early. But maybe I can hitch going and coming back (since there's also a debut on Tuesday, I missed going to debuts, so this one kind of has some 'novelty' to it). Tyaka nagb-blog lang ako kase tinatamad ako magtrabaho sa bagong layout at wala akong creative idea. But I guess I can always just take a shower first, ang ineeet.

Last night Kris came over for internet and "fun". haHAHA. I guess I can foresee that girl's gonna get me into trouble one of these days. The exciting kind of trouble, not the life-threatening one. Cinderella mode is a load of bull, and I sometimes get very bored with midnight confessions anyway. What I did learn later last night however was much better. Instant messaging burns people out. It's a catalyst to passion. And the nature of passion is to consume you and then disappear. So, all these forms of instant messaging can really get you far in a short time, relationships start and develop much faster. Consequence is that they also end faster, kase nga naubusan na, bawa't minuto nalang ay may contact. It gets dull, and you end up wondering "What happened to us?", so Cinderella was not so bad because it wouldn't have been realized. And the real lesson here is, if you really care about a person and if your relationship with that person is important to you, then practice a bit of restraint every now and then. It's healthier, and it's much better for the both of you.

Mga pagbabati: Jireh who is right now bleeding profusely, Neil who needs another guitar cable, Carlos who should 'stop that', Kris who has been in touch for all of 48 hours, Cay who is clipping her nails, Alvin who gave out popcorn, and the people at Ange's last Thursday
Sounds Copeland - Take my Breath Away
       
d-t: 050406 ; 12.45am [ next ] [ prev ]
eat your words
  I guess I really have a tendency to jinx the immediate future with the things that I say. The 'new site layout' project is temporarily on hold, indefinitely. I just don't want to open that particular can of worms just now, I don't want to have to deal with that complexity yet. Not when I could be enjoying myself on the beach (or worse, at some girls pad) or taking my paranoid mind off of the as-yet unannounced results of Math 53 finals. I've been wasting my time practicing on Photoshop (stupid pen tool, umayos ka nga), and researching advanced html for user input. I'm also going to focus on earning money on the web (somehow), and starting this small-time business I've always wanted to put up. So, yun. Time to exploit geocities some more and take advantage of the things I can do with my time. Mostly on print productions and web design, some graphics maybe. Hopefully I get some support from my web friends.

Masarap ngayon ang Ice Cream. Pero mas masarap mag Ice Cream sa may dagat. Had a highfiber fuck-up. Stayed home, mostly, ibig sabihin dumaan naman ang 24oras na nandito ako sa bahay. Sagad na yun. At hindi ako tinulungan umubos, pero sinabing dapat maubos na. Eh ano ba talaga, hindi naman ako tulad niya. Nababaliw na ko sa Photoshop. At maraming plans for summer. Sobrang dami. Kareer mode na.

Mga pagbabati: Kris (hey! see you at the tiny you know huh?); Josh (seryoso ako sa orsem); eric, cheska, sandina, jana, sandro, arlene, carla, camille, etc etc; dino (summer na pala)
Sounds Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song
       
d-t: 040406 ; 01.08am [ next ] [ prev ]
about a blog
  After about a year of sticking with the ]616[ layout, i feel genuinely ready to change the look of this website. When I conceptualized this arrangement of the many elements of the blog, I was thinking about something that would be easily viewable by those who choose to browse at lower resolutions (or those who own smaller monitors and thus have no other choice). This was the biggest factor which limited my design greatly. I wanted to stick with the functionality of the very first layout that I had for the site (which was called 113366, and later became 727), in that the whole site fit into one page, and only the frames scrolled. With the resolution constraining the dimensions of the page (less pixels to play with) I came up with a compact layout, compromising the size of the blog area to be able to squeeze in a tagboard and a links/archive frame. Looking at the layout now, it's really very complete and functional, but I noticed something odd. Lumabas yung kaartehan ko sa mga bagay, tyaka yung tendency ko na bawasan yung mga mas kailangan para madagdagan yung mas gusto ko (parang yung nangyayari sa pag-aaral ko at pagbabarkada). The menu bar (on the left) is ridiculously large, but I kept it that way because I like it, and it looks much better than having one of the frames on the right halve that space. And I was able to exploit mouseover with that banner, so much that I changed themes just to see different mouse-over effects when I got bored with the current one.

Now, I'm not so sure where to head. The new layout is shaping up to be like your typical blog, and this time around you'd better be viewing at 1024x768 or higher. Pasensya nalang sa mga mas maliliit ang monitor, pero kase most of people's blogs are laid out the same way na, at biglaan nalang hindi ko sinasadya pero hindi ko na naiisip magpakaiba. Practice conforming? Maybe, but I'm not aware of it. It's gonna be hard leaving ]616[ though, sobrang sanay na ako dito, pero kailangan talaga eh. I just hope with the geocities ad thing still there, ayos parin ang labas ng site kahit may stupid bar na andun sa side. And call to webmasters, pahost naman o. Please? Hehehe.

The size of this middle frame probably took away from the over-all interest of people in reading my entries. With the length of my expositions, and the narrowness (is there such a word?) of the frame, the blogs look like a sea of colored texts and give the impression of a very long, very dragging narrative. That's why I often opted to go with the bulleted list of events and insights, and also put a proper paragraph break, para naman hindi tuluy-tuloy yung text. With the new layout I'm also planning to shorten the blogs a bit (even if I have no idea how to do that, exactly).

Next few days I spend at home, brush up on Photoshop, and research more html tricks.

At akala ko ba Puerto? Tara, bago magenrolment. Kailangan pagkuha ng classcards ay sunog ang balat, para naman mukha talaga tayong hindi maganda ang araw natin.

Mga pagbabati: cheska (past 12am naman eh, disregard); err, siya lang?? boring ng buhay ngayon ah; ahh, si sandy pa pala, ang laaaabooo; sama mo narin si dino, at si moja, and insert your name here if you want
Sounds Paramita - Carousel
       
d-t: 010406 ; 12.03am [ next ] [ prev ]
bakas yon
  Labo ng title amp. Owe it to the fact that I've been (essentially) awake since Tuesday. Hindi naman, kase sobra sobra naman yun kung yun na nga, tuluy-tuloy. But ever since I woke up Tuesday morning, I've had three hours of sleep. Mom asked me if I needed sleeping pills, and I actually thought it was a good idea (since I wouldn't use them anyway, raket na to!), and I asked her to acquire prescriptions for those. So, update about that thing later on.

Vacation is here. But after two weeks it's summer class again, and I still don't know for sure what subject I'll be taking (since I crashed out during the last part of Mathematics 53). Siguro lahat nung mga sinabi ko ay babalik para ilampaso ang mukha ko sa lupa. I don't even feel good about the finals which I took last Wednesday. But anyway, barely scraped by this second sem.

After the Chem exam was very relaxing. Lunch sa Mang Jimmy's (ba, "4th most popular resto in the metro" -jb) kung saan pailalim ang pang-gago, at tumaas ang cholesterol levels. Pumirme sa bahay ng matagal, nakapahinga, tapos nag-adventure na kami ni Jai papunta sa venue. Solid, marunong pala ako mang-Hudas. Not in the biblical sense, pero kase yung timpla ko ay traydor daw. Ok, Sprite pala ang limiting reagent (oah!). Actually hindi eh, yung alcohol talaga yung limiting eh. Pero solve naman sana, and I hope it was great for everyone (as in, walang stir), pasensya nalang kay Icy dahil may nagreact na base (diba makati ang bases sa skin), siguro paghalo sa tubig nagdissociate yung ions. heHEHE. Pero hindi, ang alam ko covalent ang alcohols eh, kase chains of CH lang yun diba? At yung OH nga ay nasa dulo, nahiwalay kaya basic nga. Sareh.

Kanina sa Recto-D.Jose link ng LRT lines 1 and 2 me nakita ako tao na nakasuot ng jacket ng CSB (so I assumed that she's a Benilde student). Mga dala niya ay ang mga sumusunod: payong, tyaka handbook. Laftrip, ganun pala talaga. Hehehe, ang yabang ah. Pagdating naman ng Vito Cruz nakita ko pa uli yun ehh, so tama nga ako.

Back to the acads thing, di ako takot sa bagsak eh. Medyo interesting nga siguro maexperience maostracize ng mga tao dahil peater ka kase at least mapakita ko na yung hirit ko, kaya ko. Pero syempre bawal bagsak no kahit pano mo tignan. What I do fear is getting a grade which the professor does not deserve me to get. Kunware, ang galing nung prof magturo, as in wala kang dahilan bumagsak, kase gawa niya yung trabaho niya na itawid ang concept in terms that you understand. Tapos pagdating ng exam, ewan, sabog lagi nagiging outcome. So yun, it's about Math, mostly.

Had a good Friday actually. Nakausap ko ang ilang hindi ko nakausap in a long while. At may nag-hi. At nakita ko si Arlene (whom I have not seen yet this 2006) (I think). At nakausap at nagrill ko rin si JC. Basta kulit talaga ng araw. Ang sabog ng simula, tyaka nabitin din nung umaga, tyaka stress ng konti, pero ayus ayus in the end. And I'm home. Free food tastes really great.

At isa pa: kadiri si Jai. Maglinis ka na. Clean up na sa Cebu pare. Four Coins in the Half-Eight coins. Basta naniniwala akong Four Cs of Half-Eight cs yun.

Happy Birthday ateinna;)

Mga pagbabati: Icy;) and Arlene;) mga kachat ko at the moment, JC stop that, lea hanep hiatus, jai, mga tao kagabe at kanina, nicco, gelo, eLeS (just because), ate ko (mas lalong stop that), lor (yee, siya ang sunod), camille pasalubong

Preparing for the kinareer blog about the second sem. May graphs pa siguro yun kung sipagin ako.
Sounds Paramita - Stillness

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