The pain was mind numbing. I could feel my body stretching, twisting, contorting, being molded into a new form by some foolhardy magician�s hands. Millions of tiny daggers tore at my flesh, destroying me so that I could be created anew. Sinew, flesh, hair, and skin appeared, where once there were merely leaves and petals. I stood naked and trembling before the man who created me, and the man for whom I was created for. Beside us ran a brook, it�s waters as clear as glass. As I struggled to remain in a standing position on these strange new roots, I caught glimpse of myself in it�s reflective surface. Was that me? What have I become? I tried to scream with my newly formed mouth, but the pain was too intense. I collapsed in the grass before the two men, overcome with wracking sobs. The two exchanged words, but my heart thumped so loudly in my ears I could scarcely make out what they were saying. I eventually passed out, drowning in a pool of darkness. I entered into this world amidst a maelstrom of pain and despair. Little did I know it was but a taste of what lay ahead. I eventually discovered the strange circumstances surrounding my birth. Unable to wed a woman of natural birth due to a curse placed upon him by his mother, my betrothed Llew sought the aid of his uncle, a magician named Math. Llew and Math overcame two previous curses by tricking the woman. But for the third, Math found a loophole. Me. He created me from flowers, and gave me to his adoring nephew. Llew was intelligent, handsome, and strong, and I will freely admit that I was rather smitten with him at first. I had hoped he would feel the same for me. But he always seemed so distant; his mind was always elsewhere. All I wanted from him was a little attention. I mean, what girl doesn�t? A small token of appreciation, an occasional, �I love you� would have sufficed. A little kindness can go a long way. But what little interest he had in me waned each day, and he would often leave for many weeks. It was on one such sojourn that I encountered a handsome young hunter named Gronw. We fell madly in love with each other instantaneously, and slept together that same night. He whispered such sweet things to me that night beneath the moon and stars. He spoke of my beauty and of how much he loved me. He promised he would never leave me. I wished things could have occurred differently. If only Llew would have set me free. If he would have only asked me what I wanted for once. But I knew this was impossible. He was the mighty Llew, the Golden Child, the winner of all competitions. I was merely his prize. I was the trophy that proved his victory over his vengeful mother�s curse. I knew he would never free me. To do so would be an admittance of defeat, and Llew�s aversion to losing is well documented. Something had to be done. Under the guise of concern, I coerced Llew into revealing the difficult process that could kill him. His chin held high, he explained that such a thing could not be done so easily. One would have to pierce him with a spear that was constructed over the course of a year only on Sundays, as he stood beneath a roof-frame with one foot on the back of a billy goat and the other on the edge of a tub. It seemed a daunting task indeed, but I relayed the information to Gronw. We were determined to make this work. We both knew as soon as we succeeded in killing Llew, we could finally be together. I could finally find true happiness. Yeah, right. When the spear was complete, I asked Llew to demonstrate the only way in which he could die. For you see, I was so stressed thinking that my poor, beloved Llew might actually die, all I needed was some assurance to put my mind at ease. He fell for it hook, line, and sinker. The mighty Llew looked mighty foolish in that predicament, his one foot on the edge of a slippery tub, the other on a billy goat who looked none too pleased about being used as a footstool, while the shabby, makeshift roof-frame above him swayed dangerously in the breeze. I stifled a giggle as I signaled to Gronw who hid nearby. He leapt out from his hiding place and stabbed Llew with the spear. He let out a scream so horrible, it could freeze the very blood in your veins. He then took flight in the form of an eagle. What became of him after that, I do not know, for Gronw and I fled where we could be together at last. We were happy for a short while at least, �till Math and Gwydion sought us out in search of justice. Llew apparently did not die after he flew off. He was instead healed by Gwydion who found him in a sorry state high in a tree, and cajoled him down with a song. Llew was hungry for retribution, and wished for Gronw to endure the same punishment as he. Gronw pleaded with Llew, offered him territory and riches, but Llew declined both. Gronw asked his underlings if any of them were willing to take the punishment in his place. All refused. He resigned to his fate, but not without pleading with Llew once more. He claimed he only did what he did as a result of a woman�s maliciousness, and asked that a boulder be placed between he and the spear. I was appalled by his cowardice, and deeply saddened by his treachery. I loved him with all my heart and soul, and he sold me out. Though I should have seen it coming. They say what goes around, comes around. There was never a truer statement. I was betrayed by the man I believed loved me, just as I betrayed Llew. Conceding to Gronw�s wishes, a boulder was placed before him. It did not serve much purpose, since Llew hurled the spear with such force it pierced the boulder and impaled Gronw. As for me? I was not killed, obviously. Instead, Gwydion thought my sins so grievous he felt it more appropriate that I live forever with my guilt. I therefore underwent another change. The magic that changed me from flowers into a woman changed me from a woman into an owl. I should henceforth be ever fearful of the other birds, for whom it was in their nature to persecute and dishonor me for my transgressions. I never saw the light of day again from that day on. To this day, the name of Blodeuwedd is synonymous with betrayal and deceit. But truly, I ask of you�What would you have done in my stead? I had no choice. While it caused me much pain, I did what I felt was my only option. I was trapped, and rather than sit idly by and let my life be decided for me, I fought back. I have no regrets.
|