| Luci (a reflection) My life has been shortened. I'm tired of straining to be. I'm trapped in the dream. Now I can feel the old pain. It's dulled, but it's there. And I welcome it. like an old friend. I'd forgotten what it was like. Desire longing sadness love and pain. How beautiful and it makes me smile. Maybe because I remember. Maybe because I missed it. Memories mingled with mindgames Making it up as I go along. This is my new life. (I don't even exist) Now I sit here, but you are with me though I am not with you so the silence deepens, deeper And again the pain pangs and I'm glad (you don't exist either) Everyday in the dream becomes blurred. Weeks turn into years and years into months There are no days here - Only in terms of pay And even then only the nights matter It's all been about the pleasure and I haven't quite given up. Because I've always hated the future So again I whisper your name. It's been so long. Are you still there? I'm trying to find that piece of love that's always left. lingering unseen in the mirror Easing into complacency I don't know what's next and we don't care. We got lost in the story, faith and purity You used me up. You made me. in your struggling flames. I hold your presence to my tongue. I can feel your soul, body and mind beneath me. You give me everything. You will die for me. �2001 Christa Midcap |
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