To A Very Personal Story!

As I stated before in my introduction, I accepted myself as a lesbian in September 1989, when I was 32. That acceptance came after a lengthy internal struggle and a lot of therapy, because I started questioning myself as early as age 13 and didn't start therapy until I was almost 20. Also, while in therapy, I always had multiple, more obvious areas I needed to work on. And since my sexuality was the scariest for me to face (ie. coming from a very strong & suppressive religious background, Catholic), I often succeeded in suppressing it further, for fear of even my therapist rejecting me. When I did accept it for myself, it was such a relief not to fight against it any more. However, since I didn't have any specific lesbian experiences or relationships yet, I only told my closest friend and my therapist (ie. who were both very relieved & happy for me as well) then.

Mostly, I wanted to avoid the "how do you know for sure if you haven't experienced or experimented with it yet" kind of arguments I anticipated with "conservative but caring" other friends and certainly my family would probably bring up after I told them. With my family, I also worried about my siblings restricting my contact with their children (ie. my nieces and nephews, now totalling 16, from all my married siblings). So I didn't tell anyone else (ie. besides the new friends I was then making inside the lesbian/bisexual community) directly for another 3 years approximately.

When I did finally come out to my whole family, (ie. both parents and 6 siblings), it was only accomplished after much strategic planning. I planned to tell them after most of the major life events (major holidays, funerals, marriages and births) were over for a while, and therefore I couldn't be accused of either causing additional stress, upset or spoiling the more enjoyable aspects of these holidays and/or other celebrations, etc.

During those 3 years, however, I gradually started giving out a few hints, especially with my mom. Still, I also cautioned her, that if she asked me more specific questions, she might not be ready for my more specific & truthful answers, so she should be careful about what she wished for in personal info. about me.

Then finally, what cinched my idea or plan of the date & time to tell them, came when I was visiting with my parents on the weekend of Jan. 3rd, '93, when the current news was about Clinton's inauguration, along with the national debate about "Gays in the military?!". As we were all watching TV, my father casually asked me "Are there any gay people in LPA (ie. Little People of America)?" -- My answer: "I'm sure there were. ...They just weren't visible or known". Thinking about my future coming out in July of that year, I smirked slightly and added: "...BUT, they probably would be soon!"

Still, almost immediately, I was extremely surprised at my dad's very pointed question that seemingly came from totally out of the blue, because I couldn't ever remember any questions or discussion from him about anything sexual or related to orientation, much less this topic related to my participation in LPA. Then I thought... "He must know, have a clue and/or also feel this anticipatory tension" as much as I had then about discussing my personal situation. Just before I left that afternoon, I asked if they were busy the next day and said I'd be coming over again before dinner-time.

Another thing I thought of in deciding when & how to come out to my family, and how my father's question seemed so eerie at that moment, was the fact that the next national LPA conference was set to be in Chicago that year. I had already planned to be the 1st person to come out publicly in LPA, during a workshop I would be facilitating about "Other Differences" (ie. learning about, tolerating and/or accepting other cultural or physical differences within LPA, such as minority races, religions, rarer forms of dwarfism, w/ or w/o disabilities, mixed-height couples, and of course, the invisible difference of being gay or lesbian, etc.). Despite the fact that I'd request confidentiality for other workshop participants, I anticipated that my announcement would become fodder for the latest gossip in LPA and maybe even find its way to even more public media, possibly TV talk shows. I didn't want to take any chances that my family might find out any other way than by my telling them.

Therefore, I had decided that I would come out to my parents in person, but I'd write letters (ie. 1 letter photo-copied X 6) to my siblings, because it would be too difficult to gather everyone, as well as cause too much suspicion to even suggest it.

To Continue This Story...

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My Introductory Pages!

Our Published Piece:
"Little Amazons In The Arts"

Some Of My Lesbian Life In Words & Pictures!

Learn Even More About Me!

Some Baby & Other Pictures!

Soon!

�� 2004+

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