Captains Log 7
Star Date 07260.3
I'd forgotten how it was, the sound of a ship dying around you. You may think this funny, but every ship is alive. All around you, if you have the ears for it, you can hear the pulse of life in them from the hum of fans as the ventilation system as she breaths, to gurgle of fluid in the pipes as they circulate fluid, and now I was listening to the Freedom die.
I don't know what happened, but we lost main power, and shortly afterward auxiliary power went down. At first I was too busy to worry about how it would affect me. We started to drift and I had to let the landing party know what was going on, then it was more orders to the crew. Finally all the orders were given and we were using all the power the batteries could give just to hold us in place and keep the wormhole open, and all I had to do is sit and listen.
I may be old, but my ears are just as sharp as when I was young. I sat in the glow of the red emergency lighting listening, as this ships system slowly died one by one. The click of vents closing and fans spinning down. The last gurgle as the plumbing drained and those pumps shutdown. Then it was quiet, as quite as the Tang had been when they had finally left us to die.
I found myself falling into that memory without warning or anchor. One moment I was worrying about my daughter in that other world, then suddenly I again found myself limping down the cold darkened halls of the Tang, her feeble emergency lighting casting pools of light like blood on the floors and walls. I remember vividly the pain of my wounds pulling at me, and the insatiable hunger that was ripping me in two. I also remember trying to stop myself from hunting when my sanity would occasionally come to the forefront. And how that was becoming less and less common as hunger and the knowledge that I was carrying HIS kittens in my belly made my conscious mind wish to go and hide.
The ensign at the science station must have heard my whimpering, because she touched me on the shoulder and called to me, or more accurately called me back.
I found myself drawn into a small knot in the captain's chair, my tail wrapped about my feet, my knees at my chest as I rocked like a lost cub. It was all I could do to choke back a sob and pull myself together when all I wanted to do was to run from the bridge and hide. I don't know where, but I found the strength to pull myself together and order her back to her station. The last thing this crew of misfits needs is to have a captain go to pieces and leave them without a leader. I just hope the security ensign I sent to sit with the cubs had gotten there before they were too frightened. The darkness is a horrible place.