Title:  Contemplations

Author:  Katey

Email: [email protected]

Rated:  G (at present)

Category:  Webb/Mac angst, possible romance

Spoilers:  We the People

Summary:  Webb takes an evening and thinks about his favorite Marine Colonel.

Disclaimers:  Don't own any of the characters involved, but wish I did.  Just for fun and thought.

Author's Note:  This is my first fanfic so please be gentle.  I would appreciate feedback but it is not necessary.  If this goes over ok, I have an idea for Mac's follow-up piece as well as one putting them together, so let me know whether to continue or not.

Archive:  Just tell me where it is at.




Contemplations

Clayton Webb sat on a recliner in his den with a glass of good scotch in his hand with the decanter nearby and contemplated his life.

His father had died when he was younger and he and his mother had become closer.  He felt it was a son's job duty to look after his parents as they aged.  While doing his familial duty, he discovered that he enjoyed spending time with and truly liked his mother as a person, so he spent whatever time available enjoying her company.  He had recently started suggesting, subtly of course, that she begin dating.

Approximately 6 years ago he had met a woman, Major Sarah MacKenzie, and fell in lust at first sight.  He knew this was a bad thing because he met her on the job where he planned to use her to set up her Uncle.  Well, her Uncle was captured and he lost his chance to pursue a relationship with her at that time, however he never stopped thinking about her.

Now, he was around 40 years old (AN:  Have no idea, but this seems about right) with no wife or kids and no long term relationship on the horizon.  He looked back over the 6 years he had known Sarah and realized that he had gradually fallen in love with her.  Sarah had gone out with several men over the years and unbeknownst to her, he had done a thorough investigation on each man.  These investigations proved to him, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that none of them were good enough for her.

It had been a year now since her almost marriage to Mic Brumby and he was considering the feasibility of asking her out on a date.  Hell, if she would allow it, he would just skip the dating part and marry her tomorrow.  He wanted her as his wife, the mother of his children, his lover, and life mate.

Clay knew everything about Sarah's background from an in-depth dossier put together by the Agency before he had ever met her.  She wouldn't believe it, but it didn't matter to him that she had a horrible childhood and was a recovering alcoholic.  He just wanted to make things easier for Sarah for the rest of her life.

Every time Clay saw Sarah, his mouth went dry and his brain went foggy - he did his best to cover this reaction, so he came off as sounding sarcastic.  Even being in the same building with Sarah could bring this reaction on, even if he never saw her, so he came off at times sounding like a sarcastic ass and pissing people off more than necessary.

Clay was considering taking a desk job to spend more time in the States.  He was thinking about the joys of fatherhood - including, heaven forbid, owning a mini-van for hauling children and coaching ball teams.  He hadn't had these things with his own father and wanted to make sure his children didn't miss it with him.

Whenever he thought of the pleasures involved in creating a child with and then seeing Sarah pregnant with his child, he went weak in the knees.  He had recently been discussing fatherhood with his mother so that is he ever got the nerve to ask Sarah out and asked her to marry him, his mother wouldn't be shocked.

Clay knew that his mother had found the dossier on Sarah that he had hidden as well as a couple of the pictures he had confiscated from the stalker case.  His mother being the old Agency person she was had read the dossier and asked him numerous questions about Major MacKenzie - now Colonel MacKenzie.  His mother had probably guessed that he was in love with Sarah, but never actually came out and asked him.  Clay's greatest and most difficult quest in life revolved around changing Sarah's title to Colonel Webb.

Clay wondered if Sarah would ever consent to going out with him.  He was afraid her heart belonged to his friend, Harmon Rabb, and if it did he knew there was no hope for him.  Harm had everything going for him - looks, charm, a distinguished service record and most of all a close relationship with Sarah.

Clay and Harm had gotten drunk together one night and Harm admitted that he loved Sarah, but that was 3 years ago.  Why had he never acted on his feelings - were things too complicated between them for them to ever be more than friends?  Clay selfishly hoped so.

The question of the hour seemed to be would Sarah ever want him.  He knew he was rich but Sarah didn't seem to care about money.  He knew he could be suave and charming while on a mission, but could he be that way in his personal life and is that what Sarah really wanted?  He resolved to find out what Sarah wanted in a man and to be that man for her.  He also needed to find out if he would lose his only male friend for the love of a woman.

Clay looked at the clock and noticed that it was 1:00 in the morning and he had been contemplating his life for 4 hours.  During this time he had managed to consume the entire decanted of scotch and was now getting maudlin.  He got irritated with himself and getting up he headed off to bed.  After all, he had a 9:00 a.m. appointment with Sarah about a case and he needed to be clear headed and on time.  Nothing his Marine hated more than someone being late.

THE END

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