slave_owner

Be Patient
� Until you enter into a contract with a submissive, you have no more right
to order him/her around than does anyone else. Give you bottom time to get to
know you and what you like. Finesse and subtlety are major elements of
dominance. Similarly, strength and gentleness go hand in hand. The
sensitivity and awareness (or lack thereof) that you show in the real world
is likely to be repeated in the playroom.

Be Humble
� You may be God's/Goddess' gift to the world, but no one needs to hear it or
wants to hear it. You will have ample opportunities to show how good you are
- and plenty of opportunities to make a fool of yourself. No matter what you
claim, the �real you� will show through in a scene. Don�t set yourself up for
a failure by developing expectations that you know you can never reach.

Be Open
� Although the top is classically considered to be the teacher in SM, you can
always learn from your bottom, no matter how inexperienced. Be willing to
learn from other dominants who may have a totally different perspective from
yours. Try to approach by-now-familiar trips with an attitude of wonderment
and discovery. Be aware that everyone has her or his own personal style.

Communicate
� You are responsible for finding out basic, essential information about the
people you play with, such as experience, limits, likes and dislikes, and
health information. Playing SM without this knowledge is like Russian
Roulette. Talk about your head-space and you review of SM with your bottom,
so that any uncertainties can be dealt with before you start playing. Clearly
spell out roles, rules, limits and contracts. Do not take for granted that
your bottom instinctively knows the ground rules.

Be Honest
� If you lack experience in an area that your bottom would like to experiment
with, be honest about it. Your partner has a right to know that. Be honest
with yourself and take your submissive only to those levels at which you are
completely in control of the situation. Safety should always be the first
concern, taking priority over how hot a particular scene is.

Be Sensitive
� There�s a very fine line between a sensitive, caring dominate and a
self-righteous, insensitive overbearing clod. Your scene should be a creative
synthesis of you needs and fantasies, and your bottoms needs and fantasies.
Although, on the surface, your submissive is serving you, what actually is
happening is that dominant and submissive are serving each other. Earn the
complete trust of your submissive and never violate or even threaten to
violate that trust. His or her submission is a gift to you. Use it
appropriately.

Be Realistic
� End the scene with the bottom wanting more, not wishing there had been
less. Remember that power, control, and sensitivity are the keys, no just the
intensity of the stimulation. Be clear about what is fantasy, and has little
to do with what works in practice. Your favorite porno picture books may be
stimulating in themselves, but don�t try to imitate them to the last detail.

Be Really Dominant
� Submissives are looking for someone who will take over their body and mind,
not just for brute strength. Real people are wanted, not just cardboard
images from ads or stereotypes. Your dominance enhances you whole existence.
It does not cover up or substitute for other areas of your life - it is you.
Make your submissive fall in love with you, and expect them to give
themselves up to you totally. Follow up on rules, expect obedience, and
punish appropriately when it is called for. Don�t shirk your responsibility
to your bottom or to your sister/fellow tops. Be dependable and expect
dependability. You have agreed to take the dominant role - now take it!

Be Healthy
� Like any strenuous activity, SM requires that its participants be in top
physical and emotional health. Many factors, including the amount you sleep,
your eating habits, your alcohol and drug intake affect your performance and
endurance during a scene. Don�t attempt to do SM when your physical or
emotional energy is low. As a dominant you have a special responsibility to
be in control of yourself and on top of the scene. An attitude of �drugs and
alcohol don�t affect me that much...I can do it anyway� violates your
submissive�s trust in you and can be dangerous. If you don�t want to accept
the responsibilities, you shouldn�t be playing the game!

Have Fun
� After all, sex is all about having a good time. You have earned, and you
are entitled to the unique, intense pleasures which come from responsible,
creative SM play.