Parts 121 to 130
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 121
(a.k.a. Intermission)
Dark. It was dark. It was very, very, very dark. And red. Yeah, it was red. Red and dark. And Orange. And Yellow. And Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet. Wait. Those colors make WHITE light, not dark light. Er, forget that. It was exactly the same as before, except that it wasn't red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, or violet. But it was dark.
I listened to the door. It opened. And in came...the pizza boy.
"Hello!" he said, "Here is your pizza".
And so I paid him and got the pizza, then ate it. Then I did some other stuff and eventually went back to bed.
And now back to our story.
DM: Okay. We got another Crystal Star. Now what?
E. Gadd: I say we try some sidequests.
DM: We're not going on any sidequests.
E. Gadd (whiny): But sidequests give you more experience and equipment!
Grit: They're also more work.
E. Gadd: Bah! You guys don't understand the finer things in life!
Max: Like tanks?
E. Gadd: Yes, exactly like...wait. TANKS?!
Suddenly, our heroes disappear. They then reappear in the cave they were in a while back.
Weird Figure: I have watched your actions.
E. Gadd: You didn't let us finish the quest! We still had two more Crystal Stars to go!
Weird Figure: Well that was getting boring anyway. And I observed you enough to figure out what I needed to about you.
Grit: Let's see...you were testing us to see if we were worthy of your advice, right?
Weird Figure: I don't know. I forgot. But I thought you guys were barely ready, until you decided not to go to the sidequests. A real hero ALWAYS goes down sidequests.
E. Gadd: Ha! See?
DM: I loathe you all.
Grit: Blame Lord Seth for doing a cop-out and not finishing the plot line he started.
DM: I still loathe you all.
Weird Figure: So, I have to put you through some more tests. You'll be transported somewhere else momentarily.
Grit: Can't we have a pause to, you know, relax?
Weird Figure: No.
Max: Wait! But what happened to everyone back in that univ-
Max notices E. Gadd is glaring at him.
Max: Uh, that DIMENSION we were in? Everyone was counting on us!
Weird Figure: Don't worry. I'll take care of it. But now to your next test.
Weird Figure waves his arms and our heroes disappear in a bright flash of light. Weird Figure is now all alone.
Weird Figure: I REALLY have to change my name. "Weird Figure" just seems so...weird.
Where are our heroes off to now? Will it be more Advance Wars-centric? Are we using this "bold text" in the wrong part? Well, tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.875! Because if you don't, we'll...go on without you. Yeah. You'll miss it. Ha! And in case you can't tell, right now we're just filling up space. So, to fill up space once again, we'd like to remind you to tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.875!
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 122
(a.k.a. Back To Advance Wars)
NOTE: The title of this part contains spoilers for this part. And, yes, this warning should probably have been shown a little earlier.
Our heroes all materialize in the middle of a field.
Max: Where are we now?
Grit: Let's see. There are color-coded vehicles doing battle. People blow up rather than bleed to death. And that list of things that was said before.
Max: I don't get it.
DM: We're back on Wars World again, you idiot!
Grit: Lord Seth must be doing this to try to make this story more Advance Wars-centric.
Max: What's Wars World? What's Advance Wars? And who's Lord Seth?
DM: Okay, you've got to be acting now. No one could be that stupid.
Max: Okay, okay! I'm acting smarter than I actually am!
DM: Now that's more like it...wait, you're acting SMARTER than you actually are?
Max: You didn't know that?
Grit: His intelligence is besides the point. I want to know why we're here!
DM: Philosophers have been debating that for centuries. I don't think we have time to answer it right now.
E. Gadd: No, he wanted to know how we ended up here! And the answer is that Weird Figure teleported us here!
Grit: No, I mean WHY did he teleport us here?
E. Gadd: Beats me. I was going to cast a spell on him so he'd tell us, but he teleported us before I got a chance to roll my dice to see if it worked.
Grit: Look, I need to know two things. First, what battle is this? If we know that, we can figure out where in history we are. Second, is this the same dimension we were in before or a new one?
E. Gadd: There's only one way to find out!
DM: What? Cast a "Mind-Reading" spell?
E. Gadd: Don't be silly. I meant just go talk to people and find out.
Max: I'll find out!
Max walks over to a person.
Max: Hello, person! What battle is this and when does it take place?
Person: Huh?
Max conks the person on the head. They collapse.
Grit: Why'd you do that?
Max: I thought it was like the TV. You know, if you don't get the picture you want, just hit the TV.
DM: Do you think that if I hit you on the head you'd become smarter?
Max: Why on the head?
DM: Because it's the one part of your body that if I hit, I can be sure I don't break something!
Max: Huh?
Grit: Uh, guys? We're sort of in trouble...
Our heroes look around to see themselves surrounded by Yellow Comet forces.
Yellow Comet Soldier: Take them away!
The Yellow Comet soldiers all pull out tranquilizer guns and shoot our heroes with them. They then take them prisoner and take them to a prison. (well, what did you THINK they'd do with prisoners?)
In the prison...
DM: Oh, great. First it was prison, then a POW camp, and now prison again. Joy.
Grit: Why were we even arrested?
Guard: Uh, news flash? After Orange Star's repelled invasion, all foreigners are under suspicion. Considering that you four are the only foreigners, I'd say it's pretty likely you're spies.
Grit: Let's think about this logically. We stand out. Our clothes don't fit in. If we were spies, don't you think we'd make it harder to figure out we were spies?
Guard: Aha! But only a spy would see that far ahead! You thought that people wouldn't think you were spies because you stand out. Well, here in Yellow Comet we're smart enough to not fall for that.
Max: I'm thirsty!
Guard: Too bad!
Max: Oh, you won't like me when I'm thirsty...but you don't like me anyway, so who cares?
E. Gadd: It's time for an Intelligence check to see if we figure out a way to escape!
Grit: I have a better idea.
E. Gadd: A better idea than an Intelligence Check? Wow! I'd better try an Intelligence Check to make sure you actually think up that idea!
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 123
Previously, there was a part that really ended up contributing nothing to the story line.
-Black Hole-
Sturm: Before we got distracted by all those disappearances, what were we doing?
Hawke: What we always do. Try to think up plans to conquer Wars World.
Sturm: Ah, yes. Any suggestions?
Flak: We beat up all our enemies!
Adder: It's always beating up enemies with you.
Flak: Well, what's YOUR suggestion?
Adder: We kill all our enemies!
Sturm: Excellent idea! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to accomplish that?
There is a silence.
Sturm: Well?
Lash: We could use my new catapult invention! It lobs soldiers at enemies! Then they land on the enemies and they die. There's one downside, though.
Adder: What?
Lash: Only twenty percent of our soldiers survive. But I have a plan to stop that.
Adder: What?
Lash: Use five times as many soldiers!
There is a pause.
Sturm: Okay, Lord Seth has OFFICIALLY run out of ideas.
Flak: How do you know that?
Sturm: The stealing of a joke didn't tell you? When he can't even think up jokes, you know he's out of ideas.
Flak: Oh, come on, just because he borrowed ONE joke...
Sturm: Come on! His writing style is lamer than FDR's legs!
Everyone gasps. There is a pause.
Sturm: Too soon?
Hawke: Who's "FDR"?
Flak: What are legs?
Sturm: Well, that made what was official even more official. Lord Seth has OFFICIALLY run out of ideas.
Flak: Oh, come on. Just because he borrowed TWO-
Lash: Shut up, Flak.
Flak: Okay!
Sturm: What were we talking about?
Hawke: How to conquer Wars World.
Sturm: Ah, yes. And our idea was to kill all our enemies. Now, how do we do that?
Lash: Use a nuclear bomb, a.k.a. an Evil Weapon of Doom or EWD?
Sturm: Did it.
Lash: That was just the movie!
Sturm: Doesn't matter. We still already did it.
Flak: I suggest we just forget the whole thing and live peaceful lives.
Sturm: Hey, that isn't a bad idea!
Hawke: Yeah, what did being evil ever get us other than nothing?
Adder: It's so obvious now...just stop being evil...virtue is its own reward...
Lash: Maybe if I had spent my time making machines that HELPED people rather than killing them...
A bomb lands on where the Black Hole COs are. By a complete twist of fate, they survive.
Sturm: Who sent that?
Lash: Orange Star.
Sturm: THEN PREPARE TO CONQUER ORANGE STAR BY KILLING EVERYONE IN IT!
Flak: Whatever happened to that "be peaceful" idea?
Sturm: It blew up right when the bomb did. Now, ready...the INVADING FORCE!
Did we run out of questions here? Tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.875!
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 124
(a.k.a. DM's Long-Awaited Rant)
Max: Okay, so let's review. We're in a Yellow Comet prison. And there's a giant purple ninja mustache in the corner of our cell.
Grit: No there isn't.
Max: Then what's that giant purple ninjas mustache in the corner of our cell?
DM: Me.
Max: You're a giant purple mustache in the corner of a cell?
DM: No. You're just hallucinating. That, or you're just really stupid.
Max: AAAAHHH! The giant purple ninja mustache in the corner of the cell is talking and looking just like DM!
DM: May I conk him out?
E. Gadd: Only if he fails a Constitution check.
DM: Okay, that gag is just getting old.
Grit: Guys! We have to stop bickering and find a way out of here so we can set right once again the history! Now, in this one Orange Star apparently DIDN'T make it through Yellow Comet. So we need to make sure they do.
DM: Why?
Grit: Because if past history is any indication, it'll lead us to a warp hole and get us out of this place.
Max: I know how to get out of this prison!
Grit: Let me guess. Tanks?
Max: Don't be ridiculous. That's a terrible idea. I was thinking more on the lines of me using my immense strength to smash down the walls.
E. Gadd: Only if you succeed in a Strength check!
DM: Just...shut...up.
Grit: Wow, Max! That sounds like it could actually work!
So Max knocks down the wall and our heroes escape. Another guard comes to check on the prisoners. For reference, this guard is "Guard 2" and the previous guard is "Guard 1".
Guard 2: Why did you let the prisoners escape? What do we pay you for?
Guard 1: Standing in front of the cell and guarding the front. There's nothing about guarding the back.
Guard 2: Good point. Now let's leave and get some real names.
Guard 1: Hey, it's not my fault my parents decided to name me "Guard" and my last name is "One"!
Guard 2: Guard 1 is your real name?
Guard 1: Well, of course. Why else would it say "Guard 1" before the semicolon?
Meanwhile...
Max: Okay, so maybe taking the route through the Horrible Woods Full Of Horrible Things That Will Do Horrible Things In Horrible Ways And Something Else That Has "Horrible" In It wasn't such a good idea.
DM: NOW you figure it out.
E. Gadd: Don't blame him. It's not his fault he failed his Intelligence check.
DM looks like he might explode. He closes his eyes and, still trembling, slowly counts to ten.
E. Gadd: Uh-oh. Did someone cast a Blow-Up spell on you?
DM starts shaking even more violently and restarts his count.
E. Gadd: It looks like you may have failed your Anger check. Maybe I should-
DM: THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE YOUR STUPID DUNGEONS & DRAGONS, OR EXPERT DUNGEONS & DRAGONS OR WHATEVER IT IS, OBSESSION ANYMORE! I'M FED UP WITH IT! MAYBE IT WAS FUNNY AT FIRST, BUT NOW IT'S JUST STUPID AND REPETITIVE! AND IT WASN�T EVEN THAT FUNNY AT FIRST! SO GET A LIFE AND TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR STUPID FANTASY WORLD THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO WHAT WE HAVE TO DO! YOU'RE JUST AN ANNOYING ONE-DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER WHO DOES NOTHING EXCEPT OBSESS OVER DUNGEONS & DRAGONS AND GHOSTS! SO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO OTHER THAN CONTINUALLY TRY TO FIT A FICTITIOUS FANTASY WORLD INTO OUR REAL, NON-FICTITIOUS, NON-FANTASY WORLD! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
Grit: Oh, great. You just attracted the Horrible Lions That Do Horrible Things In Horrible Ways To You.
E. Gadd: Yeah, it looks like you failed your anti-Lion check.
DM: Calm down, DM...you don't want ANOTHER murder on your record...
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 125
(a.k.a. Horrible Happenings)
Grit: So what do we do about the lions approaching us? I mean, getting eaten by lions is-
Max: -so unrelaxing. We know.
Grit: I was going to say "horribly painful", but I guess it is unrelaxing.
DM: There is only one thing to do!
Max: What?
DM: Run like the cowards we are.
E. Gadd: Only if we succeed in our-
DM hits E. Gadd on the head and he collapses. Max grabs E. Gadd and they all run off. The lions then arrive.
Lion: Aw, man! Just because we're called the "Horrible Lions That Do Horrible Things In Horrible Ways To You", everyone thinks we're going to do horrible things to them.
Lion 2: Well, let's go back to singing Kumbaya.
Back with our heroes...
Grit: Guys! We're out of the woods now, literally. We can stop running.
Max: Can't. We were running so fast we actually went all the way around the world and are now back in the forest.
DM: That makes no sense!
Max: Welcome to my world.
And so our heroes run out of the forest, but this time remember to slow down afterward so they don't run all the way around the world.
Grit: Well, we're out of the woods. Now excuse me while I fall asleep for a few days to recover my strength.
Grit falls asleep.
Max: Ha! I bet I could've run around the world two more times before collapsing!
DM: Why don't you try?
Max: Okay!
Max runs off.
DM: If that doesn't finish him off, nothing will.
E. Gadd: I actually doubt that'll finish him off. After all, he's very likely to succeed in his Constitution check, so he's not really-
DM hits E. Gadd on the head again, causing him to collapse.
DM: We need some non-repetitive humor, and we need it FAT. Uh, I mean fast. We need it FAST.
Max runs up.
Max: Okay, I ran around it twice! Sorry I didn't go right through here on my first time through. Well, I'm exhausted, so excuse me as I fall down and fall asleep.
Max falls down right on top of DM, then falls asleep.
DM: Uh, Max? You're sort of crushing me and preventing me from getting up. Max? Uh, Max? (pause) Oh, darn, he's sleeping too hard for me to wake him up.
E. Gadd: Yep, and he'll be asleep for (rolls a die) Three days!
DM: I hate you all. And my life. And everything, come to think of it.
E. Gadd: I sense much hate in you.
DM: Shut up.
E. Gadd: Yeah, that's what they all say.
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 126
Previously, Orange Star launched a bomb (or was it a missile?) at Black Hole, and Black Hole has readied its forces for invasion.
-Orange Star-
Andy: Whatever happened to that "eating and then throwing up to lose weight" fad anyway?
Max: Oh, the fad died off with the people who were in that fad.
Sami: Was it actually a good idea to send that bomb towards Black Hole?
Nell: Of course it was! Because I'm Nell, and everything I say is automatically true!
Sami: That doesn't make sense. How does being Nell cause everything you say to be true?
Nell: It just does.
Sami: That isn't logical at all.
Nell: It doesn't need to be logical!
Sami: Why?
Nell: Because I said it didn't need to! And since it was I, Nell, who said it, it must be true.
Sami: I loathe circular reasoning.
Andy: Oh, you think that's bad? Try triangular reasoning!
-Green Earth-
Green Earth Citizen: Well, we repelled Black Hole's attack with the help of a black hole. So what do we do? Our COs are still away having zany adventures.
Green Earth Citizen 2: Conquer Wars World?
Green Earth Citizen: Better than sitting here on our butts, doing nothing!
Green Earth Citizen 2: Yeah, what's the worst that could happen? Us all getting killed and our country being taken over? (pause) Wait, that is pretty bad.
Lord Seth: No! You're supposed to be oblivious and NOT realize it's bad!
Green Earth Citizen 2: Why?
Lord Seth: Because I said so!
Green Earth Citizen: But why should it be true just because you said so?
Lord Seth: Because I said so!
Green Earth Citizen 2: That doesn't make sense logically.
Lord Seth: Well, I say it doesn't NEED to make sense logically! And since I said it, it must be true.
Green Earth Citizen: I hate circular logic.
Lord Seth: No, this is rectangular logic. I am the writer, after all, so what I say carries slightly more weight.
Green Earth Citizen: Rectangular logic is better than circular logic?
Lord Seth: Yeah, but triangular logic is the worst.
Green Earth Citizen: That makes no sense!
Lord Seth: It doesn't need to, because I said it doesn't need to.
-Blue Moon-
Olaf: ...and that's how I explained how I gave the explanation I just explained.
Grit: Are things that don't make sense going to be a recurring theme of this part?
Colin: The answer to that is the same as whether the phrase "This phrase is false" is true or false.
Grit: I have GOT to get into a new story. Preferably a story that mentions all stories that do not mention themselves.
Is the next sentence true? Is the previous sentence false? Well, whether it was the chicken or the egg that came first, tune in next time, to Advance Wars 2.875!
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 127
(a.k.a. Random Insight)
DM: When, oh when, will this stupid guy wake up?
Max wakes up and gets off of DM.
DM: Ha! You said it would be three days, E. Gadd, but he got up after less than one!
Max: Conversation confusing...making me sleepy...
Max falls down on DM again and goes to sleep.
A little less than three days later...
Max: Ah, what a refreshing nap.
Max gets up.
DM: About time!
Max: Huh?
DM: Never mind. Now, may we PLEASE continue?
Grit: I say we try to sabotage the Yellow Comet army so that Orange Star can get through.
Max: Why are you so anti-Yellow Comet?
Grit: I'm not anti-Yellow Comet! I'm pro-past!
Max: Pro-past?
Grit: It means I'm for making what happens here what actually happened in our Wars World.
Max: Why?
Grit: Because Orange Star needs to pass through Yellow Comet in order to eventually be in the perfect place to defeat Black Hole.
Max: But does that REALLY justify the killings of more soldiers?
Grit: Why are you bringing this all up?
Max: I'm just making conversation.
Grit: Well, make conversation with someone else, then.
Max: Okay!
Max turns to a tree.
Max: (to tree) Hello, tree! What is YOUR opinion of war?
E. Gadd: Huh. Max's alignment must be Chaotic Neutral.
DM: I just had a major rant about your annoying Dungeons & Dragons obsession. Please don't make me do it again.
E. Gadd: I'm having trouble figuring out what alignment you are. I'm Chaotic Good, and Grit's probably Neutral Good. But what about you?
DM: Did it ever occur to you that maybe not everyone can be pigeonholed into one of nine alignments?
E. Gadd: Not really. But let's have a Wisdom check to find out!
Grit: At this rate it'll take us...oh...twenty parts to actually get anything done.
DM: Hey, that's still better than DragonballZ!
Max: Hey, that reminds me of a great joke that I don't understand, but I memorized. It goes like this. How many DragonballZ characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
There is a silence.
Max: Just one, but it'll take three episodes!
No one laughs.
Max: It isn't funny?
Grit: Well, it's funny, but it's a standalone joke. That is, it isn't particularly funny in the context of a story. If you just tell that to someone, it's funny, but it's not a story joke. This story has plenty of story jokes, meaning that while they're really funny in here, they're just not funny outside of a story.
Max: Brain...being overwhelmed...
Grit: Because of what I said?
Max: No. I was just trying to figure out what infinity times two is.
Grit: See, now THAT'S a story joke. Maybe not a good one, but it's a story joke.
DM: Okay, we're getting out of character, even for this story.
Grit: Yeah, but some of these lines are the kinds of things that Lord Seth or someone in the "classic" version would say, and someone has to say it.
DM: Huh?
Grit: This story is split into two sub-stories. This one, named "Zany Insanity", and the other, named "Classic". They've just never been given official names until right now. (pause) Okay, now it'll be twenty-five parts until we get anywhere.
E. Gadd: I say we continue on our present course!
DM: Why?
E. Gadd: Because I used my See How To Continue The Plot ability.
DM: Now, do you mean geometric direction, or direction as in the storyline?
E. Gadd: I don't know! I'm not at a high enough level to have learned the Know The Answer To The Subsequent Question skill.
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 128
(a.k.a. This Is A Bad Part Name)
Grit: Can we just get somewhere?
DM: The four of us? We're WAY too dysfunctional to get anything done quickly. Or rapidly.
Max: I just say we get some tanks and smash our way through all obstacles!
A TV falls out of the sky and lands next to our heroes.
Max: Wow! The TV works perfectly!
DM: It's a radio.
Max: No it isn't. It's a TV. The narrator said so!
The radio spontaneously turns on.
Max: I believe you mean "TV".
DM: Max, you can't trust narrators. I learned that a while back.
Radio: Big, major, important news! Four prisoners have escaped from the prison. If you see these guys, notify us! Unfortunately, we're unable to describe them because that's top-secret. But if you see four guys together, report them! Thank you.
The radio explodes.
Max: AHHH! THE TV SAID THEY'RE LOOKING FOR US!
DM: Radio. It's a radio.
Max: OR IS IT?!
Grit: Let's just continue walking in the direction we're going. We're obviously going to encounter SOMETHING eventually.
And so our heroes continue their walk.
Max: Why does this adventure have to be so boring?
DM: We've been captured three times. We were nearly killed by dragons. We went through that whole Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door parody. We had to go through all that stuff when we went to that alternate Wars World. We got lost in a spooky forest. And more stuff I'm too bored to describe. And you think this is all BORING?
Max: Well, if we had tanks, it might be more interesting.
Suddenly, some tanks spontaneously arrive.
Max: Woohoo! Tanks!
The tanks are yellow.
Max: Woohoo! Yellow tanks!
Uh, that means they're from Yellow Comet.
Max: Woohoo! Yellow Comet tanks!
That's bad, you idiot!
DM: Whoa, I LIKE this narrator!
Max: Woohoo! Bad Yellow Comet tanks!
Oh, forget it. The tanks surround our heroes.
Max: Woohoo! Bad Yellow Comet tanks surrounding us!
DM: I loathe you.
There is a pause.
DM: Aren't you going to say something like "Woohoo! DM loathes me!", "Woohoo! DM loathing me", "Woohoo! Yellow Comet tanks surrounding us while DM loathes me!" or "Woohoo! Yellow Comet tanks surrounding us while DM is loathing me!" or something like that?
Max: Woohoo! DM overwhelming my pitiful mind!
DM: Just when I thought we were going to get away from the joke we were all expecting...
Max: Woohoo! Getting away from the joke we were all expecting!
DM hits Max on the head.
Max: Ow! Why'd you have to do that?
E. Gadd: If you have to ask, you'll never know.
Yellow Comet Soldier: Okay! We've given you your allotted "wasted talking time". Now you're coming with us. Our Emperor or whatever his title is Kanbei will decide your fate!
E. Gadd: Darn it! We had the perfect ending line for this part, and those Yellow Comet Soldiers ruined it!
Grit: Shouldn't that be "Yellow Comet soldiers", with the "s" in "soldiers" not capitalized?
E. Gadd: Better.
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 129
Previously, we had a part that defied logic AND wasted time. The only question is whether that's a new high or a new low.
-Orange Star-
Nell: It is now time to attack Yellow Comet!
Sami: Why?
Nell: We did in Advance Wars and didn't conquer it. So it is TIME FOR VENGEANCE!
Sami: We didn't try to conquer it! We were just trying to pass through and they attacked us because they THOUGHT they were trying to attack us!
Nell: Exactly! Their unprovoked assault cannot go unpunished!
Sami: But Black Hole is going to invade us! Is it a good idea to split our forces like that?
Nell: No. But we're going to do it anyway!
To make a long story less long, Orange Star attacks Yellow Comet but is attacked by Black Hole. They manage to barely repel Black Hole's attack through a complete stroke of luck that won't be mentioned, but Yellow Comet drives them back.
Nell: Drat! I guess we'll just have to send some spies there, gather information on their weaknesses, and THEN attack!
Sami: Wow. And you couldn't have done that BEFORE you attacked them?
Nell: Nope. Not at all. Now get those spies ready! Of course, they won't be caught.
Sami: What makes you so sure?
Nell: I said so!
Sami sighs.
-Yellow Comet-
Yellow Comet Soldier: Kanbei! We have caught spies that have been sent from Orange Star!
Kanbei: Good. Now bring them into the room and thrust them in here in a dramatic way.
The soldiers take four people and thrust them into the room in a dramatic fashion.
Kanbei: I said dramatic WAY! Not fashion!
Yellow Comet Soldier: They're synonyms in this case!
Kanbei: Oh, good point. Now, what to do with these spies...?
One of the "spies" stands up (they were all thrown onto the floor). However, this "spy" seems somewhat familiar...
DM: Why, oh why, do I ever bother to get up in the morning?
To Be Continued...
Advance Wars 2.875, Part 130
(a.k.a. Crossover Crisis)
Kanbei: Aha! So YOU are Orange Star's spies!
Grit: We're not spies.
Kanbei: Aha! So you, Grit, have returned to Orange Star!
Grit: I think this is some kind of mix-up. Could you-
Kanbei: It is then decided! You shall be executed at dawn!
DM: Why is it always at DAWN?
E. Gadd: Because that's when vampires are weak.
DM stares at E. Gadd.
E. Gadd: What?
Grit: Look, this is a misunderstanding. We're actually from an alternate dimension-
E. Gadd: FINALLY someone gets it right!
Grit: -and we're not spies.
Kanbei: Hmph! That's what they all say! Now do with the prisoners whatever it is we do before we execute them at dawn!
Yellow Comet Soldier: What is that?
Kanbei: I don't know! Who do I look like, an ordinary Yellow Comet Soldier?
Yellow Comet Soldier: Not particularly.
Max: Aw, man! We had the perfect line to end this part with, and then YOU had to go and blow it!
Kanbei: Just for that, your execution shall be moved up to midnight!
Grit: You know, I really think you should reconsider. We ARE just from another dimension, and-
Kanbei: It is then decided!
Sonja enters.
Sonja: What's going on?
Kanbei: Why, we've just caught some spies from Orange Star!
Sonja: What makes you so sure they're spies?
Kanbei: Well, one is Max, an Orange Star CO...
Sonja: Don't you think Orange Star would send someone OTHER than a star CO to be a spy?
Kanbei: Aha! But they knew we'd think that, so they used reverse psychology and used him!
Sonja: (rolls eyes) And what other reasons?
Kanbei: Grit is there.
Sonja: Grit is a Blue Moon CO!
Kanbei: Aha! But he USED to be an Orange Star CO! And, those other two guys are suspiciously suspicious. These guys claim they're from another dimension. Ha! What a far-fetched excuse.
Sonja: Did it ever occur to you that the fact it's so far-fetched and no one would believe it may be an indication it's actually true? I mean, if they were trying to trick us, they'd think up some explanation that seems more reasonable.
Kanbei: Aha! But that's what they WANT you to think!
Sonja: Can I at least run some tests on them to see if they are from a different dimension?
Kanbei: Are the tests horribly painful?
Sonja: No.
Kanbei: No deal, then.
Sonja: Oh, fine. I'll make them horribly painful.
Kanbei: Excellent! After all, what point is a horribly painful test if it isn't horribly painful?
Max: Okay, now THAT'S a good sentence to end a part with!
Read on!