Fixture: Limpley Soke V Corsley

Venue: Longmead

A nation united in celebration. Never before had the country experienced such unity and utter jubilation over one single momentous occasion. Impromptu street parties, children in fancy dress playing in the street, beacons lit throughout the kingdom, whole roads decorated in bunting, strangers sharing sausage rolls, two national holidays called by the government, enormous fireworks displays, fly-pasts by Concorde.

NICHOLAS JD GREGORY HAD GOT A FIFTY

It was Corsley who were the unlucky bystanders in this exhibition of skill, bravery, and determination from Gregory. With Limpley put in to bat and Gregory and Smith opening, the fielders were hypnotised simply in awe of the effortlessly stylish stroke play and the devilish good looks of the demi-god opener. Gregory kept the good ship Limpley afloat at the top of the order with lesser and weaker men falling by the wayside, only to be eclipsed by a heroic last wicket stand from Norris and the youngest (and some might say prettier) Richards brother. An unbeaten stand of 29 for the last wicket, the highest this season and possibly ever to grace this historic club.

With a score of 177-9 posted and the female support revived from swooning at the sight of Gregory, Corsley edged their way to the crease to open their innings. They were soon edging their way back to the clubhouse with some pinpoint accurate bowling from the drunk Norris and the glutinous Kendall. Fine bowling saw the away team reduced to 44 all out and the fourth win on the trot for Limpley.

As the crowds left the ground, the street parties began. It was like England winning the World Cup, the declaration of world peace and the end of famine all rolled into one. No longer will the nation look down on Gregory and call him "kit-boy" for he is a winner, a national treasure, a role model for our young, a leader amongst men and a cross-dresser at the weekend.

Man of the Match: Norris with bowling figures of 4-14.

Tea: Kendall provided an above average supply of teatime snacks. Achieved an excellent cheese to onion ratio in the sandwiches.

Team: Gregory, Smith, Bush, Kendall, Ball, Clarke, Owen, Hannell (C), Rite, Richards P, Norris.