Mel discovers the best way to defluff your muff

The summer is fast approaching, and there's nothing more minging than seeing a hairy bird flashing her spider's legs on a Benidorm beach. Bearing this in mind, I was asked to try out a selection of hair removal products, which are suitable for pits, legs and minge. Here's to a hair-free summer!

One to win!!

German birds are the hairiest females on the planet.

True or False?

Winners will receive this bikini trimmer,
for all those stray hairs

This month, Mel gets to grips with hair removal products

Hair Cream Remover

Nice and cold but stinks like a bastard. My boyfriend wouldn't come near me for days. Not suitable for inflamed or irritated skin, so all you gypo girls will need to find another method.
RATING ***

Wax

Hot, sticky and painful. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't complain. But unless you like the feeling of something being ripped from your body, then this method is definitely not for you. And I'm not talking about my boyfriends cock or childbirth.
RATING *

Sugar

Sugar is an all-natural, water soluble hair remover, specially formulated to stick to your hair and not your skin, and rinses away with water. Right handy if you're a tight bastard. Suitable for a cup of tea afterwards. It's amazing what you can do with a packet of Silver Spoon these days.
RATING ***

Tweezers

Made famous by Pam Shriver of Wimbledon fame, the tweezing method should only be carried out in extreme circumstances. Fucking hurt like buggery, and extremely unappealing for potential eye-witnesses.
RATING *

Electric Shavers/Razors

The traditional way of shaving; quick, easy and painless. Definitely my boyfriends favourite method - he gave me a Brazilian quicker than you could say "hairy fanny"!
RATING ****


NEXT MONTH MEL TESTS OUT FEMININE HYGIENE