| What is love? If you have to ask that question, you've never really been in it. The sad thing is, some people use that rhetoric when asked straight out if they love someone. I've heard people say that practically on the eve of their wedding. Question: "You must really love him, huh?" Response: "Well, what's love? I mean, we like being together ..." blah blah blah. (This is one marriage that's doomed before they even start the march down the aisle.) Question: "Do you love me?" Response: "Of course I do. Whatever love is." (This is where a red flag should go up.) It has been said that enlightenment which can be described isn't enlightenment. Same thing is true about love. You can only know what love feels like if you've felt it yourself. There's no logical explanation nor cut and dried criteria. Love just is. Some folks are lonely and in such a hurry to find a partner that they don't wait for the one special person to come along. They find someone whom they like and with whom they share interests and call that love. Many people erroneously believe themselves to be in love when they are actually in like. Or, most commonly, in lust. Sex is such a powerful magnet that it's small wonder many young people get married based on that alone. They mistake the passion and fire and "can't keep our hands off one another" for love. Then, when the honeymoon phase is over, they're left feeling empty, and they become resentful of the enormous responsibilities marriage entails. This is when the divorce rate skyrockets. Some people, even after that initial infatuation has passed, try to rationalize their feelings for the other person by thinking, "Well, I enjoy his/her company, I enjoy him/her in bed, we have so much in common, therefore it must be love." Wrong! Love is not something you can intellectualize, analyze, or explain. It's an emotion, not a thought process. You feel it. You don't think it. In fact, at times, love between two people can even defy explanation. There are couples who, on paper, look as if they'd be perfect for one another. They share the same interests and are so much alike that it would be difficult to imagine them not getting together. But it doesn't always work out that way. Then there are couples who are so different from one another that it looks like they wouldn't last a day together, much less a lifetime. One is tall and thin, the other is short and stout. One watches sports, the other reads. One loves rock and roll, the other loves country. One's a singer, the other a writer. People look at them and make jokes about the odd couple. Yet, many times, these are the relationships which are eternal and everlasting. Why? Because of the chemistry which drew these two different people to one another. They're not relying on exteriors; each sees through to the other's soul. How can this phenomenom of love, this chemistry, this attraction which makes one want to spend a lifetime with the other, be adequately explained? It can't. But there are signs you can look for, and questions you can ask yourself. Do you love spending every possible minute with her? Or do you barely even think about her when you're apart? Do you enjoy going out with him even if it's to a restaurant or an event that wouldn't be your first choice? Or do you consider it a waste of time to go somewhere you're not crazy about, even with him? Are you proud to be seen with her? Or do you feel like she cramps your style? Do you jump at the chance to see him whenever you can? Or do you find yourself making excuses when he wants to get together? When she telephones you, are you happy to hear from her? Or do you wish she'd leave you alone? Is he your first priority? Or do you spend more time with your friends than with him? |
| ARE YOU IN LOVE? |