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| Okay, I have the weirdest, most ecclectic musical taste! And I know it, I dont really mean to, but it kinda of happens, I listen to something and I like it usually when it matches of one my moods or what I'm going thru.. |
| I use music to create moods as well, especially when I write or draw. Most of the writting on this site is just newsletters and thougths but I have a whole book of poetry/vision in French that I might get around translated a bit later on. It's pretty difficult, since I use lots of symbols & double meanings. I'm a big fan of paradoxes and innuendos and why not, nothing is black or white in life but every shades in between. |
| I've been getting lots of emails lately and lots of them are interesting to me to get a better feel of how people perceive me and read what I'm saying. There are two types of readers, the ones who reads literally what I write and the ones who read between the lines and are completely off. People tend to want to make me all the way one thing or all the way another and I'm everything in between but black or white. Even background wise I'm everything but easy to figure out. I was born in France but I'm half Native American, my other half is Sardinian which for the history part were invaded by Spanish and African so once again I'm neither black or white. I'm not that French either, so goes on the rest of me. |
| Lots of the emails I get make me understand how people have a hard time casting me. I'm Aquarius Rising, and for the Astrology savvy people, I'm 14 degree Aquarius which is equivalent as being born on February 3rd. Aquarius are everything but predictable and easy to understand and who's to say, being understood matters? I'm not sure it does, really not. |
| Well, I know for sure, it's a nice surprise when people get it but I can't say I have never lost much time into justifying and explaining myself. I really like people with good hanging abilities and a flexible mind who have no problem loving me as a whole and make my contradictions part of who I am without being neurotically in needs of making it all fit tight in some kind of structured mold. |
| It's part of being an artist I guess, we are all neurotically beautiful, decadent, schizophrenic and holy, all at once! I'm not short of the deception musicians are known to create among women with men in my life. I'm over the top, intense, emotional, putting romantic words together for the sheer fun of writing things that get me off with no other goal than writing. I'm very guilty of being a smooth talker especially via letters. I really try to curb it all but it's who I am not what I do so it can be as difficult as me trying to stop having dark green/brown eyes. My chance to make it is quite slim, so what can I say? I'm guilty of all the excess artists are plagued with. |
| After reading my FAQ, you might get confused and there is no confusion to feel what so ever, well not that I know of. I struggle thru every temptations, sexual obsessions and dualities of all kind. To my defense, I really have it all thrown at me when it comes to sex : Playboy bunnies, Rock Stars, Actors, they all come my way with a mind set at getting me in trouble. It's really a complete miracle that I hold up that good, part of it is that luckily people have not find the key to get me to give in so I try not to say it to anyone until I come across Mister Right. |
| I'm not a very emotional person when it comes to love, I'm not even sure I believe in love aside from some chaotic chemicals unbalance of the body fluids, I kinda think that whole Romantic love is simply based on sex and people being compatible as individuals. Perhaps it's too much to cope with, with our well refined, wanna be better than that, human condition. Truth is we are animals, with a soul, but animals, at least I'm honest with myself. It took me a while but I came to live my life feeling my emotions instead of thinking them. I really see lots of good in having more of an animal attitude than pulling my hair at trying to be that evolved, civilised being that we all pretend to be and none of us are all that much deep inside. |
| In my life, I've met many people, some mold their environment, some are a total product of their environment. Not so long ago, 4 years ago, I was convinced myself that all my limitations and short comings were my own free will choices! I guess it was easier than facing the fact that I was alienated from within. As I said before I grew up with no boundaries or set of rules but my life ''teachers" were smart enough to not put physical rules in front of me but to put the rope within, and what more powerful tool to enslave someone and keep him down but fear? I was ruled by fear, my every moves, decisions, emotions, was nothing but fear rooted. I was living in a security building with all the latest gizmos of technology yet I had the worst panick attacks in the world. |
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