misconception

99% of my dreams of the past year has been about bringing my attention to a mistake
I have commonly been making in a past, some of the 'past' being not even
a week short. No wonder, I've been so stuck in my journey.

If I have to be remembered for something in the court of human history, I don't
want to be remembered myself, I want what I said to be remembered.

All Saints have been known for adding something to Church so my contribution
would be to have people looking at words differently by explaining my own
mistake. I use the term 'Saint' in jokingly serious way. I really aim to be one
by the end of my life, it's a long term project, say I have a good 50 years left,
it gives me some time to polish my Holy chops and gets on with the program.

I don't have any pretention to change anyone, I'm satisfied when I make people
think even if they never incorporate one bit of my views in their lifestyle.

Unfortunately for me, I have a big impact on people around me, either thru
my way to challenge their views and make them question their lives.

Fortunately for me, it gives me serious bondaries, the bondaries of love and
trying to curb my goofyness by realising I influence people around me so
I must live to higher standards and fight tooth and nails to be good in order
to not drag down with me weaker mind that can't separate the message
from the messenger. I have never really worried up to recently when I saw
how I can move on and leave the 'party' and the chaos behind me while
my partners in crime stay and drown in it.

I can experiment and I know when to stop, get out, rise above and recreate
myself, keeping the good and flushing the bad I learnt, Most people turn
a learning experience to a lifestyle. The school become a way of life instead
of being a mean for learning, something you leave behind once you have
learnt and mastered the tools needed to forge a better self.

When you are sick and go to see a doctor who gives you a prescription,
What do you take to feel better?
The doctor or the medication?

Now you can argue that the doctor is the one who told you what to take.
Or maybe it's you friend or may be any doctors can give you the same
prescription now that you know what it takes to cure you.

When you throw your back and need a massage.
What makes you feel better?
The doctor or the massage?

Now you can argue that only a certain doctor can make you feel better,
Or maybe anyone who uses his particular technics and put the same pressure
in it might do as good.

It's very much the same when it comes to talking to people.
You can hear the same advise a million times and never hear it until someone
phrase it in a time, place and way that matches your understanding.

Up to then, you won't hear it or you will but can't seem to make any use for it.
The words are not connnected to any meanings to you.

Lots of people get irritated when they give advise in vain. I do to a mild degree
cuz I look at myself and consider my own blankness to hear out certain people
and hear it when it's the time, place and way to get it.

In life, we are always where we are supposed to be at, being a physical or
emotional, intellectual place. We may not like it but it's important to learn
to be patient with yourself and make the best of the moment and place.

Too often we bitch and complaints about not being where we are supposed
to be at and something bigger is out there waiting for us.

To me there is no concept of better but different, perhaps something that
will match better my needs that I have outgrown.

We need to start being today what we want to become tomorrow.