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| John Updike: A computer and a cat are somewhat alike -- they both purr, and like to be stroked, and spend a lot of the day motionless. They also have secrets they don't necessarily share. Jeff Valdez: Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. Cynthia E. Varnado: It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. Carl van Vechten: A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained. The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life. Jules Verne: I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. Robert J. Vogel: A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. Louis Wain: I have myself found, the result of many years enquiry and study, that all people who keep cats do not suffer from those petty ailments which all flesh is heir to. Intelligence in the cat is underrated. A mouse in the paws is worth two in the pantry. Barbara Webster: One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter what they are doing, or pretend they do. John Weitz: Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. Rosalind Welcher: No one can have experienced to the fullest the true sense of achievement and satisfaction who have never pursued and successfully caught his tail. Alfred North Whitehead: If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. Mary Wilkins: Cats love one so much - more than they will allow. But they have so much wisdom they keep it to themselves. George F. Will: Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow. The phrase "domestic cat" is an oxymoron. Robley Wilson, Jr.: It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their master is one of perpetual confident boredom. All they betray of the hidden life is by means of symbol; if it were not for the recurring evidence of murder - the disemboweled rabbits, the headless flickers, the torn squirrels - we should forever imagine our cats to be simple pets whose highest ambition is to sleep in the best soft chair, whose worst crime is to sharpen their claws on carpeting. P. G. Wodehouse: The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact. Steven Wright: Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. W. B. Yeats: The eyes of a cat will wax and wane with the phases of the moon. Kathy Young: Cats may sense early on that you don't like paw prints on your butter, but they will jump onto any surface in the home as long as no one sees it happen. Cats never feel threatened. They are genetically incapable of accepting that anyone could possibly dislike anything as perfect as a cat. Cats can derive their nutrition from the air they breathe until you get the message that the Fish Fin Buffet you put in their bowl three days ago will never be acceptable. You must set down all the rules to your cat at the beginning of your relationship. You cannot add rules as you go along. Once these rules are set, you must never, under any circumstances, break any of them. Dare to break a rule, and you will never live it down. Trust me. A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use. ************************************ CAT LOVER'S QUOTES I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. Hippolyte Taine Dogs come when called... Cats have answering machines. Anon Dogs see God in their owner. Cats see God in a mirror. Anon As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkeley When sharing a bed, cats need the three-quarters nearest the wall. Anon The more I see of men, the better I like dogs. Mme Roland Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes, less than themselves. ASJ Tessimond "When I play with my cat, how do I know that she is not passing time with me rather than I with her?" -- Montaigne "Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." --Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Anonymous "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." --Anonymous "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." --Jeff Valdez "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." --English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." --Ellen Perry Berkeley "One cat just leads to another." --Ernest Hemingway "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." --Mary Bly "People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life." --Faith Resnick "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." --Anonymous "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." --Unknown "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." --Anonymous "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." --Missy Dizick "You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." --Colonial American proverb "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." --Joseph Wood Krutch "I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." --Anonymous ******************************************* PROVERBS: If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich. - African A cat is a lion to a mouse. - Albanian A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arabic If you stared deep into a cat's eyes, you would be able to see into the world of spirits. - British All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. - Chinese A cat assures its owner of good luck. - Chinese Happy owner, happy cat. Indifferent owner, reclusive cat. - Chinese You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. - Colonial American Those who dislike cats will be carried to the cemetery in the rain. - Dutch An overdressed woman is like a cat dressed in saffron. - Egyptian In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. - English A cat in grass is a tiger in the jungle. - English Dogs remember faces, cats places. - English The cat has nine lives - three for playing, three for straying, and three for staying. - English For he has the subtlety and hissing of a serpent, which in goodness he suppresses. - English Handsome cats and fat dung heaps are the sign of a good farmer - French If cats had wings there would be no ducks in the lake. - Indian That cat that has its mouth burned by drinking hot milk will not drink even buttermilk without first blowing upon it. - Indian A cat is a lion in a jungle of small bushes. - Indian The cat is magical and the bringer of good luck. - Indian Beware of people who dislike cats. - Irish Nature breaks through the eyes of the cat. - Irish To kill a cat brings seventeen years of bad luck. - Irish superstition To please himself only the cat purrs. - Irish It is better to feed one cat than many mice. - Norwegian proverb When the cat and mouse agree, the grocer is ruined. - Persian A house without a dog or a cat is the house of a scoundrel. - Portuguese It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish The cat always leaves a mark on his friend. - Spanish When moving to a new home, always put the cat through the window instead of the door, so that it will not leave. - U. S. Superstition *************************************** |
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