1o.14.2oo3. I've been working at Wendys for the past month I might say. Haven't done much but work and sleep and see August. I met two new friends. Jonathan and Tara. They are boyfriend and girlfriend and they are both really nice.
*New Stuff*
Added to new pages in Grimoire
Sumerian Calendar and Daily Life
Planetary Hours
Added New Poem under Poetry
Outshine
Added a 'Quote of the Day' link on homepage
Added 3 new stories by H. P. Lovecraft under 'By The Dead'
Cool Air
Dagon
The Doom That Came To Sarnath
o8.19.o3. We'll its Tuesday and August went back to school. I'm getting pissed, I don't know how long this will go on. I'm sick of being second to everything else. His friends, weed... its bullshit. I live maybe an hour away from him and on the weekdays I'm here at home and he's in Lexington. He says he can't do much for me when were like this. What? I maybe talk to the boy an hour and 15 minutes each day, if I'm lucky! And then he thinks he can get away with it, not caring, and expects me to take the bullshit. Because when I'm with him, its a whole new thing, its great, but that is only when I'm with him. I'm not his part-time fucking girlfriend! Just because I am not there doesn't mean that he can't try! O yea, I went to the doctor and the reason I've been having these chest pains and head problems have been because I have an ear infection in my right ear which has spread to the left and to my throat! Its weird, really. Me and my dog have an ear infection together. She's had her's longer tho. And when I went to the doctor to get my meds and when I started taking mine, her ear has gotten better! We are one and the same. I stopped smoking cigarettes 'cause of this ear infection bullshit. I can't, it hurts too much just to breath. Plus, I tried to smoke pot and my head got all tingly and I got all hot. I hate that feeling. So I can't smoke right now. Hopefully, I can atleast get some Smirnoff this weekend, if I can't smoke. Who's ever heard of a sober Shawna? Is it possible? But I was rather proud of myself last weekend. Trent kept trying to get me to smoke but I turned it down... I'm improving! But I am becoming quite boring. Argh, damn the man!
o7.31.o3. Haven't done much of anything... Finished Taltos by Anne Rice and got two more I have yet to read; Tale of the Body Thief and Servant of the Bones... I think I shall be done with them in 4 days... of course, with Friday right around the corner, who knows? I go to Aug's then and well, I don't get much reading done... :) ::smiles:: The Rocky Horror Picture Show is showing August 30th I can't wait. Plus, Lammas is on Friday. Just two days ago I got accepted into the O.G.D, of course of a Neophyte, so there is still so much to do and I have to learn... but I'm excited. Of course, we have no temple here, so I shall have to self-initiate. My sunflowers are dying :( the sun has been too hot... Been smoking way too much (cigarettes). O!! I had an ear-infection, thanks to my boyfriend, for sticking a piece of grass to the point where a sharp and excruciating pain began. But no real harm done, I hope. My horse is trying to kill me. My dog is being drove insane, dame fleas. And my cat is loosing hair. My animals are all fucked up! But so is the family... toodles.
o7.o9.03. We'll 4th of July has come and gone... can't say I seen too many fireworks, I wasn't paying attention. Maybe too busy taking care of the drunk that is my boyfriend. He hates that, when I call him a drunk. I mean he's not really a drunk, he doesnt drink that often, but when he does its sort of like I'm invisible. I took care of him as best I could... we even had green, but he was too sick to even smoke, and I don't like smoking without him so 4th of July for me, was kind of sober. And everyone tells me to drink, I use to. But now just the smell of alcohol can make me throw up. I just found out that me and aug have been going out longer than we thought... Don't ask me how this came about, its very complicated. But officially on July 23 of last year me and aug started going out... I don't see how we forgot the six months that we haven't known about? But pot can distort your perception of time. And thats all we do. I'm at home now in the country this week. We got a horse, like we need another animal to take care of, we can barely take care of our 11 yr old dog Pebbles. But shes beautiful and her names Rusty. I've got on her, but I can't make her go. Stubborn little thing. She's the first horse I've ever been on... which is odd, seeing as how when I was younger, my favorite animal was a horse. But whatever... I can't sleep. I'm hungry and bored out of my mind! Damn August for having a different sleeping pattern then me! My brothers coming back home!! I can't wait... Mom says we will have to take care of him 'cause he's coming off of crystal meth cold turkey. I hope he doesnt bring any back, if he gets caught, he gets 15 years in prison... stupid boy, but I love him an god protect him, make him invisible... Finished reading The Witching Hour by Anne Rice, now moving on to Taltos, much shorter book...
o5.15.o3. Well, I just got back from Aug's, we watched the Lunar Eclipse. It was cool, but it took a long time. We got pictures. I'll try to get them up. Today was also the Ides of May. In the original lunar calendar, the Ides marked the center of the month, the time of the Full Moon. However, when the Romans swtiched to a solar calendar, the Ides fell out of sync with the Moon. Today is magickal becaues it is the Full Moon and the Ides, and therefore the two calendars are back in sync for a day. From the earliest times in Rome, the Ides of May marked the celebration of Mercury (that's your planet Aug!), the god of travel, luck, skill. wealt, and magic, who was worshipped in every culture by a different name. For example, Julius Caesar said Mercury was the chief god of the Celts, and as can be seen in the English name for his day of the week, he was equated with Woden, the chief god of the Germanic people. On this day in 495 B.C., Mercury's temple in Rome was dedicated. The entire month of May, in fact, was dedicated to Mercury's mother, Maia, which is why it was named after her, and the Ides of each month is sacred to Mercury's father, Jupiter. In the Buddhist calendar, the Full Moon in May is called Wesak. It is the most sacred day of the year. On Wesak Buddha was born, on Wesak he achieved enlightenment, and on Wesak he died and passed into Nirvana. Like Mercury, Buddha was a teacher of spiritual wisdom and interestingly his mother had the same name as Mercury's, Maia. The magic of this day should not be ignored!
o3.26.o3. Well, I'm up pretty early. I've been up since 7:30 when August called me. I slept from 7:30 pm last night till 7:30 am today. Thats only because the day before that I didn't go to sleep at all. Today I'm supposed to be job hunting. Argh...
I haven't spoken to my 'rents or my brother in over two weeks. Guess they don't want to talk. Although its understandable when it comes to my brother 'cause he has all that shit to do of working and then partying after work, that can take a lot out of you. But my mom, she doesn't work. She's just pissed at me. I don't know why. Well, maybe I do but its pointless, you can't make that woman happy.
Last time when I was home we all got in a fight, me and my mom and dad. It was sort of like the old times... it brought back a wave of pain. So I went off on my dad, because he came in my room all up on me telling me not to speak to my mom like that, I was cussing at her, but she deserves it! The things she says to me! When I was younger, maybe 12-16, I use to say such mean things to my parents out of spite. But I grew up! I don't even tell my parents I hate them anymore. But my mom hasn't learned anything. She keeps up with her old sayings... calling me a bitch and a whore, and that she hates me and wishes she could kill us both... and I do believe there have been many a time when she did try to kill us in the car! But now shes angry at me because I'm staying away from her. Away from home, but I'd still like to talk to her. Unlike her, I know how unpredicatble life can be and how such a short moment can make or brake you. She's losing her child I say... I might as well be dead, I am to her. But thats ok! I'll get over it. Its typical.
But yea!! I'm bored, and I have to walk over to Aug's about 2:30 when he gets out of school. And I got a little something that might make him happy! Te he, te he. But yea, thats all...
3.1o.o3. It's been a pretty long time since I wrote in this. Damn, a year. Just a few days ago my webpage at /cutelildeadthing got totally erased! So that sucked a lot. I still don't know why. So I hope to get everything back up and running. But there's only so much time...
I just got home today. I've been at my boyfriend's house for the last 13 days. I'm going out with August now. We've been together for about 2 months and some. And our anniversary is every 3rd of the month... August is Xac's younger brother, and it use to be that I was with Xac, but that was just a bad thing. Everyone tells me that I was mean for dumping one brother and going out with the other, but what if I met Xac only to get back to Aug? It was meant that I met Xac just so I could get back to him (Aug). He's younger than me, three years younger. But looking at him you'd say he's older than me... We share so many things together, even magic! He's the first guy I ever met that really cared for something other than the 'average life,' and would prefer to quest to greater knowledge, something higher than petty lives, and learn. We plan to travel together, Massachussets, Louisiana, England, Egypt, the Middle East (of course, when all this stupid shit of war is over) Ireland, Sweden, and any other place we can think of that has some connection with magic... We're getting ready for the next festival which is the Spring Equinox, and plan to celebrate together.
I talked to my brother the other day, well through e-mail, he lives in Georgia, I sent him one of my poems, The Ancients and The Evil , and he wrote me back, I cried reading it... it was the most wonderful thing my brother has ever said to me. I cried I was so happy to hear my brother say the things he said... heres the letter... I'll keep it for all of time. Even if I don't become famous for my work, it was totally worth it to hear those words that he said...