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| Journal... One day when i was little -twitch- i was playing ina tree! -twitch- we were all playing in the big tree... and we were trying to grab the fucking power lines.. and i was jacking off on birds.. jacking off on the birds fuck -twitch- fuck!! ... and i hit myself with a fucking two by four, and i fuck... i fuck -twitch- i fucking fell out of the fucking tree! fuck... than i had fucking brain damage fuck!!! so thn i fucking went home and i fucki... i fuck... i fucking went to sleep!!! fuck!!! And than one fucking day!!! shit... -twitch- i .. i ... we were fucking in a fucking go cart!! and fuck we fucking stole it and fucking rode it around!! than we fucking crashed into a fucking bush! ahh!! -twitch- fuck! and the fucking pole with through my fucking friends fucking cheek!! and the fesh was fucking brown inside!! it looked like fucking gross but i thought it was fucking funny! ahaha! funny! shit! -twitch- fuck... Another fucking day goes by, more brainless souls killed... I swear sometimes i want to peel someones eye lids back tack them to there forhead and ask them if they now see the truth... Minldell liars, i fucking hate liars. Fake ass bitches afraid of the truth. Well im gonna ramble now because im tired of being nice... fuck this side of me. Hey.. wanna beta me unconsious -twitch- cmon.. it will be fun slut! beat me till my eyes pop out.. ahaha, take a shit down my throat and piss in my eyes, ahah fuck!! .. ha! -twitch- aha! shit! fu... fuck... fuck off! hey bitch lick my ass... you know what happend, i was walking.. minding my own shit fucking business! ahh! fuck -twitch- ehe.. and there was this fucking dog... this fuck fucking dog!! he was walkign and fuckign staring at me so i fucking took my nail and shoved in his.. his fuck! his fucking eye! ... yeah.. his fucking eye! and it fuckign bit me! just for minding my own shit shit shit shit -twitch- fuck fuckign business. hate me.. suck my cock... than stab me.. can i fck you with a knive? i think it would be fucking kinky as shit -twitch- shit.. you know you all fuckign read this and your like wtf wtf wtf id his fucked up fucking problem ahahah i have a problem.. your mom has a problem too... her pussy was spread just to release a big lump of.. you... heh! hows that ba bing! -twitch- shit... help me -crys- I once loved a woman, a girl im told.. i gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul . You know what i hate more than life? ... not a god damn thing ;-) Science is but an organized system of ignorance, what do we know about about the beyond, do we know whats behind the beyond .. im afraid some of us havnt thought about whats beyond the behind. been a while? fuck no i should just leave your asses.. fucking spamming whores! ya thats right -twitch- argh, girl you know i love you but now you gotta die! ehaha yesterday i ate a baby.. i found it ina park in the slide, took it home and got dead baby chop suey, lo maing on its ass too mmm mmm now im eating cookies.. there ok but nothing compares to fresh dead babys. time..time..waisted.. today i realized how much of an idiot i am.. how gullibal ive been and how stupid i can seem. Wish my mom never walked in ... wish i could feel that much pain again, maybe id have enough seemless hurt to just ... whatever.. people come to me for answers and i dont even have questions... why am i bickering into this "journal" life is what you make it, nobody else is to blame, pain is all in the mind, but so is happiness. wasnt i supposed to go back to candy.. must have been cancelled.. sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to, but only sometimes. Most of the time im just wanting someone to take my hand and make me happy... i shouldnt rely on someone else for happiness, thats a weakness. but it isnt like i can make myself happy. i need to go back to sleep now.. lately its the only thing keeping the blood in. playing with my brain the demons bite and scream, fucking to my crying as if it were a chant of sexual desire. fucking little killers making me think these fucked up thoughts, i wanna stab little kids and eat there mothers womb, make there daddy watch with a tapped up knife in his left eye and his neck stapled to the wall. My mind has gone insane im perfectly fucking normal... class nerds into serial killers. people like me just watch, i had my share of being picked on but in highschool it never happend, i would have killed them all. thye knew i wasnt there, but they still fucked with the nerds.. those are the poeple who are going to lit there necks in there sleep, ill be the one telling them how to do it. grr.. i hate you... I stare at the ceiling so i dont have to face the bloody nightmares of reality, the walls speak to me, tell me who to kill. I rest on my pillow but my head is nowhere to be found, i listen to the clock, another life is torn. My eyes bleed my wrists cry. dancing in my awake i wonder into nowhere, asleep i am still choking you to death. The dead come awake just to ease my lonelyness. We play and kill and play again, the lies peck my eyes like birds, the sex in your dead eyes draws me near and you awake in a scream, you take me by my heart and show me how to kill my soul. My time is gone my mind is flawed. mental sickness... I wrote this on ... -checks clock- July 28th at 9:04, it was on my mind... im going to start adding this shit to poems, they don't belong in my journal. even thought there my thoughts.. well hm.. guess ill keep em here? i dunno, shit.. fuck! -twitch- stupid.. fucking... fuck... ok well heres some more i wrote at work on napkins! Strangled by your touch, i crave your skin. You eat my thoughts while fucking my flesh. I scream for my mother, her body lie rest, she tells me to kill you, she's been dead for years... Im wide awake, drowning in oxygen while i slit my throat i scream blood. I hate the smell of your flesh, I love the taste. I watched you while you screamed, I watched the demons eat you alive, I watched while they raped your unborn child. I laughed when you yelled out for god. I hate the way you look at me with tears in your eyes, as if now you want my help, where were you when i needed you? you fucked my ability to care, you spit on my love. I still love you, but i want you dead, so i cannot be in love with your lies.. youll be all mine now, just you and me, the way you always wanted it... |
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| I'm sick of you, when i look at you i want to rip my eyes out and feed it into a small cut into my stomach, you make living and breathing a challenge, youve hurt me more than anyone. Sometimes i wish youd just dissapear, youve raped away my sanity and i would love to kill you, except... im looking at my own reflection. |