The Lost Xena Page
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Proudly geezed at:
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And Lost For A Damn Good Reason, Too:
This page is host to the X:WP fanfic of Dharma Bum, known member of the GJRJ (1) and several of the East Coast's finer places of confinement, supplying you with your fill of Xenite disrespect, perversity, explicit heterosexual relationships, and lots and lots of Joxer. Let's repeat that: lots of Joxer. I don't want anyone saying they weren't warned ahead of time.
The house rules are as follows:
- Read the frickin disclaimers.
- The last episode of "Xena: Warrior Princess" was "Kindred Spirits". This is not subject to debate.
- This site contains raunch, some of it explicitly heterosexual raunch. If you find this kind of thing disturbing, you won't be happy here.
- Some of said raunch gets into NC-17-and-rapidly-up-from-that material which will be clearly labeled. I have a very high tolerance for that kind of thing, so if I mark it NC-17 it's NC-17, and don't go near it if your're under eighteen. In fact if you are under 18 you probably should go somewhere else entirely (2).
- This is a Joxer page. Specifically, it�s a Jox/Gab page (except for the perversity section, but don't say you weren't warned about that). It's not a slash page, it's not a "subtext" page, so don�t write me and tell me you didn�t know going in. And do not click on this link if you don't want to hear me rant about the word "subtext".
- I don�t own them. Somebody else owns them. If they were dogs, we could take them away from somebody else on the grounds of how badly somebody else abuses them, but since they�re not, all we can do is borrow them for fanfics and treat them comparatively nicely.
- Test:
- I read the disclaimers and understand them.
- I read the disclaimers and don�t understand them.
- I read the disclaimers and understand them, but I�m the kind of useless toad who�s going to write you a complaining letter anyway because this isn�t an X/G site.
- Joxer who?
The true story of what really happened, told by the people who lived it...
The original (in)famous Xena spinoff series, intended to start right after season 5's "Married With Fishsticks". Unfortunately TPTB changed their alleged mind and tried another format, thereby destroying the franchise. We tolllllllllld you soooooooooooooo. Luckily, though, we've saved the original scripts for all nine episodes, complete and uncut, and semiexclusively right here. Also and entirely exclusive here are a few fluff fill-in pieces, some of which are not very polite. You read that thing about being 18, right?
The straight-faced and frankly not-as-well-loved-because-of-it-novel, with NC-17 parts but not as many as you're probably hoping for.
ME ME ME, it's all about ME
Writer and reality hacker Dharma Bum can usually be found on or under rocks in Northern New England. Her hobbies are sleeping and annoying people with random IM messages. You can contact her by e-mail here or by IM below, but it might not be such a good idea.
(1) Gabrielle-Joxer Romantics' Junta.
(2) Unless you are Kawcrow in which case I know you're just here to give me a hard time and it's not going to work, kid. Lalalala
The fine print: All characters in the X:WP fanfics are owned by a bunch of corporate dolts who wouldn't know a decent storyline if it hit them in the face with a rotting salmon. I have nothing to do with any of them. In fact, I wouldn't have anything to do with them if they paid me, but they don't pay me and I therefore don't have any money, so it would be futile to sue me. Okay? The OED is copyright by the OED, all rights reserved. I respect the OED. This site makes liberal use of the f-word. If you are easily offended by the f-word and/or underage, I would not advise proceeding further. I myself am from Detroit, where we speak a unique English dialect that consists entirely of the f-word and its variants. So I'm not taking the f-words out of anything. Chalk it up to cultural diversity, and go back to the top.