Post-Mortem

Gab and Jox kiss and make up after the events of "House Party". Due to content, parental discretion is advised.

CONTINUITY WEENIE: Takes place between the fadeout after the kiss and the scene at the breakfast table the next morning. It's MY series and I can rewrite it any way I WANT to.

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When Joxer had headed for the door, Gabrielle hadn't been sure what to think or feel, and when he'd turned around and come back to her when she'd asked she hadn't been sure what to say or do. There was too much going on in her, too much fear, too much relief, and so when the impulse came to her she was at a loss for anything else to do instead, and so she'd gone with it and kissed him.

And it hadn't been a bad idea. She pulled back from the kiss and took his face in her hands, studying every mismatched angle. The kiss had been good. The feel of his body, alive and whole, against hers as she leaned into him was good. She stood on tiptoe to kiss him gently on the cheek, then half-laughing, half-crying, threw her arms around him in a bear hug. "Oh, Joxer," she said softly.

"Gabrielle, I--"

"You know how much I care about you. Even though--"

"Yeah."

"Don't ever scare me like that again, you got that?" It would be just like Joxer to go and get himself killed in some messy fashion that would prevent him ever coming back, although with Joxer's seemingly infinite ability to dodge the worst the world could throw at him it would require at the very least a conspiracy of stupid and evil gods. And what gods would ever worry enough about Joxer to go after him? "You are so dear to me." She pressed her face against his chest, listening to the reassuring beat of his heart below. "I wish there was some way I could make you see that."

"Well, I can think of one way."

Gabrielle sniffed, blinking away the last of the tears. "You know, you keep saying that and one day I just might call your bluff."

"Ha. You want a piece of me? Bring it on."

She pulled his head down for another kiss, and in those microseconds before her lips touched his she realized: Well, I'm not bluffing any more.

She should have been scared by the realization, scared or angry or appalled or any of a dozen other things, but instead all she could think about was the feel of his mouth under hers. It started as a caress but then she pushed forward fiercely, sensing his momentary shock as she forced the kiss deeper. He recovered quickly, though, and returned the favor, lips and tongue sliding along hers�and all of reality shrank down to that one kiss. Gabrielle wanted to stay there forever, and thought maybe she would. Then she remembered she had to breathe and reluctantly pulled away.

Joxer was panting slightly. "Wow," he muttered. "Oh, wow," he elaborated as she nuzzled into his neck and back up to his mouth, "I--mpfh." Whatever he'd been going to say probably hadn't been worth hearing anyway, Gabrielle thought before thought disappeared again in the wonderfully painful longing of the kiss. She pressed her body full against his and his arms tightened gratifyingly around her, pulling her to him. This time when she came up for air he did not allow her to back off but continued to plant small playful kisses against her jaw, back to her ear, along her throat, and now she was the one panting. Her thoughts tumbled over themselves in confusion and anticipation; he was aroused, gods knew she was aroused, perfect time, perfect excuse...She wriggled out of his grip and he let her go, as reluctant to release her as she was to step away. "Gabrielle," he said, "I'm sorry, I..."

She took his hand. "Joxer," she ordered. "Come." She started walking to the stairs. He allowed her to pull him for a short distance, but balked at the foot of the staircase. She stopped halfway up and looked down at him. "Um, Gabrielle," he said hesitantly.

"Joxer, heel."

"You realize we're going upstairs, right?"

"No, I thought we were going down to the orchard to pick apples."

"I, um, just mean that it's, y'know, upstairs, and..."

"And what?"

"Upstairs. In your room. With your bed." Joxer made a series of elaborate gestures with his hands that made no sense at all. "I mean, y'know, the implication is..."

"That we're going to fuck like weasels? If you're up to it." She turned away and went up into the attic room. Joxer remained frozen in place for a moment, then bounded up after her in one of the most impressive displays of speed and agility he had ever put on in his life.

"I was so worried about you," Gabrielle was saying as he scrambled into the room. For some reason her knees seemed unreliable right now, and so she sat on the edge of the bed to remove her boots. "Life is so short."

"It is." Joxer, following her lead, undid one of his own boots, a dangerous process that involved precariously balancing on one foot when he normally had trouble keeping upright on two. Gabrielle stood up and prepared to catch him if necessary, but he seemed to be doing all right for the moment.

"I mean...gods, I don't know what I mean." She undid the ties of her halter. "It's being there on the edge, seeing death. Ever since I came back, I've been feeling...odd. Like everything is so sharp and clear, and every minute is so precious, as if I might never see it again, but I can't explain it, I..." She shook her head, exasperated.

Joxer looked up from his project, the second boot half-off, teetering dangerously on his bare foot. "No," he said, "I know exactly what you mean."

Gabrielle looked into his eyes for a long moment. He did understand. There were parts of her that even Xena could never touch, and yet somehow Joxer always saw, and understood. She was overcome for a moment with a wave of affection that was almost painful in its intensity and could think of nothing to say. Instead she held his gaze until he stood up and then, never looking away, she eased her halter off and allowed it to drop to the floor.

Joxer remained still. There was a question flitting about his eyes but he said nothing as she approached him and hooked her fingers under the hem of his shirt, easing it up. They shared a swift kiss before he lifted his arms and bent forward, allowing her after a small confusion of a tangle to pull the shirt off over his head. He straightened up, shaking his now-mussed hair out of his eyes. Gabrielle had an urge to brush it away from his forehead for him, but it was too far to reach easily and so she settled for laying her hands on his chest.

Not a bad compromise. She ran her hands over the smooth skin, across his chest and down his belly, and he shivered nervously as she brushed her fingers near the top of his pants. Odd, she thought idly, the bard part of her standing off to the side and taking notes as it always did. The closer we get the more nervous he becomes and the more insistent I do. Shouldn't it be the other way around? She paused in her motions, waiting to see what he would do�and really not quite sure where to go from here in any case.

He cupped her face in his hands. "You're so beautiful, Gabrielle. Did I ever tell you that?"

"A thousand times," she said, trying to lighten the mood and failing.

He kissed her and ran his hands down over her shoulders, across her rib cage and up under her breasts to massage them gently, his thumbs moving lightly over her nipples. She had no itinerary in mind and let her own hands wander where they would, across his chest, around and down to the small of his back, up again, along his sides, while leaning against him as best she could to feel as much of his erection against her as possible. I want to see, she thought, amused by the childish mental tone, but it was no child's demand. I want to see, I wanna I wanna. No more sneaking around trying to catch a look without being caught. I wanna see. She brought her hands back around to his belly and slipped her fingers into the top of his pants. He gasped. "Oh," she said innocently. "What's that?"

He hissed slightly. "Not funny, Gabrielle."

It wasn't. The bones in her legs and hips were threatening to melt entirely now. Serves me right, she thought. She backed away and hooked her thumbs in the top of her skirt. "You're right," she said. "Naughty Gabrielle." There was one final flare of hesitation in her mind, one last fear of being so open and exposed in front of...in front of Joxer, who she trusted as much as she trusted Xena, and the fear vanished. She pulled the skirt down and it slipped down around her ankles. Joxer regarded her for a long moment, then solemnly offered his hand to her. She took it and gracefully stepped out of the skirt, kicking it away behind her. "Well," she said. "Shall we do this?"

"I'm game if you are," he said, trying to lighten the mood and succeeding. Gabrielle smiled at him with genuine affection. "You realize, of course," she cautioned, "in the greater scheme of things, this means nothing."

"Right."

"I mean, nothing's changed. About...us."

"I understand." Joxer stripped off his pants.

"I mean we're two reasonable adult people. Well, at least one of us is. And...ewwwwwwww, gross!"

"Hey!" He took a step back.

"No, no, I mean gross in a good way gross. Let me see." He reluctantly allowed her to approach again. "Oh, yeah...gross."

"I wish you'd stop saying that. Did I say you were gross?"

"Am I?" Gabrielle took a step away and turned in a slow circle.

For a moment Joxer didn't speak. Then he said softly, "You are the single most beautiful thing in the world. I could die now and regret nothing."

Gabrielle blushed, looked down and away, straightened her spine and looked up again, and said, "Careful. Remember--nothing's changed."

"Right."

She allowed herself to sneak another look. "Except that, I guess."

"Trust me. It's thought about it before."

So have I, Gabrielle thought. She mentally hemmed and hawed for a moment. "So, uh. Generally how does this, y'know...proceed?"

"There are these birds," Joxer said solemnly, "and these bees, and..."

"Very funny."

Joxer couldn't hide his smile, which suited her just fine. Sometimes she thought she could live for that smile. She admired the smile and the other thing as well as he stepped up to her and said, "Generally, it starts like...this."

He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply, the full length of their naked bodies pressed together. Gabrielle's head spun. Just like in scrolls, she thought dizzily as he kissed her again, and then without breaking the kiss swept her up into his arms in a single graceful motion. She flung her arms around his neck, giddy with anticipation. He carried her towards the bed, and continued to kiss her, and tripped, and lost his grip on her, and dropped her on the bed, and fell on top of her, and said, "Oof."

She lay pinned underneath him, the breath knocked out of her, outraged as hell. At a time like this, a time when everything should be perfect, and he DROPPED her? She opened her mouth, about to let him have it�and started laughing.

"Gabrielle!" he squawked.

Of course he dropped her! He wouldn't be Joxer if he hadn't. "So typical," she said and kissed him quickly on the tip of his nose. He looked bemused for a moment, maybe still half-anticipating a slap. Then his long face grew solemn. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"No need."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I wanted�" He brushed his hand gently against her temple. "I've waited for this moment for years. I thought it would never come, and I wanted...I wanted it to be perfect. Not all...falling down and stuff, I..."

She laid her hand across his lips. "Shh. Joxer, don't you see? It is perfect. Just as it is."

"But..."

"No buts." She pulled his head down and kissed him deeply, becoming more and more aware of the weight of his body holding her down, the heat of his erection pressing into her belly, and the warm molten heat building between her legs. "It's perfect. You're perfect. Joxer, I want you so much." His expression was undecipherable. "Do you want me?" she asked softly, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"More than anything in the world."

"Then let's do this thing." She arched her back and pressed her hips against him invitingly. He growled softly and the smile was back in his eyes.

"Whatever you say," he said, and he trailed his hand slowly down along her face, her throat, lightly over her breast and down along her side to her waist. She was forgetting how to breathe and had to keep gasping for air as she tried to wriggle to a more satisfying position underneath him, but he held her still while he took a leisurely survey of her neck and her throat with his lips. He nuzzled his way in an aggravatingly slow fashion to her breast, just the top, not yet to the nipple, barely any pressure, and...She thought she might hit him after all. "Oh, come on ," she said, drumming her heels against the edge of the bed, "come onnn, let's go."

"Nonononono." He flicked his tongue across her erect nipple and she almost squealed. "Let's take our time."

"Joxer," she said through clenched teeth, "how would you like to die?"

"Like this will be fine." He returned to teasing her breast, and she wriggled helplessly for a moment, considering how she was going to make him pay for this before most of the thinking part of her mind dissolved.

Okay. Two could play at that game. And gods knew he was asking for it. He shifted slightly to get a better angle on her breast, and she slipped her hand between their bodies and grabbed it.

He froze. She couldn't quite get her hand around him in the awkward position they'd landed in, but she managed to press her palm against its length and move it back and forth slowly. Very slowly. Joxer tried to say something, gulped, tried to speak again, and said, "Oh." "Um," he added. "Gah," he said. "Gabrielle, uh, not so...I mean more..."

"Nonononono," she cooed. "Let's take our tiiiime."

"Okay. Okay. I give. Just stop that. Or don't stop. Or something." He pushed himself up on one elbow enough so that she could shift underneath him, and his free hand joined hers between them for a minute before he pushed down farther against her hip. She opened her legs at the request, so wet that his hand slid easily against her as he stroked her top to bottom once, twice, a third time.

"Now," she said softly.

There was a moment's fumbling, his hand pushing against her thigh, hers trying to guide him in, somebody's wrist getting stuck under somebody else and a couple of muttered curses, and then he was in her.

Done. Gabrielle blinked for a moment, trying to comprehend, vaguely seeing the same expression on his face-�we're actually here!-�and then Joxer visibly shook the confusion away from his eyes, pulled back and thrust forward. Once. Again. Again...Gabrielle groaned in wonder and allowed herself a moment's luxury of lying back and doing nothing save feeling. Then she pulled herself together, and him in deeper, and started trying to match his movements with her own. "Faster," she muttered.

"How's this?...Oh, gods."

"Good. Better. Oh."

"Gabrielle." He pushed himself up on his hands, watching her, panting. "I...Gods."

"Harder." She clenched herself around him, trying to draw him in deeper, trying to keep him in forever. "Faster."

"It's not a...chariot race. Gods."

"Don't stop. Don't stop. Oh..." She threw her head back again, closed her eyes, wrapped arms and legs around him and pulled him to her. After all this time, and finally, and she never wanted it to end, never never nev--

Oh, shit.

It was her last coherent thought as her entire body exploded with the force of her orgasm, everything from her toenails to the ends of her hair seeming to quiver for long moments and the oh shit, oh shit, oh shit echoing in her brain as it slowly returned to functioning. Too damn soon, too damn fast and now it was over, and...well, shit. She gasped, opened her mouth to catch her breath, and suddenly Joxer slammed his own mouth over hers, kissing her frantically, his tongue filling her throat, his hips thrusting in a sudden, frenzied burst of speed before he came, hard, fast, some noise breaking from his muffled throat that might have once been her name. For a long moment they remained pressed together in a tangle of limbs and juice and sweat. Then the tension dissolved from Joxer's body and he let her go, pushing himself up on his elbows, panting. He looked at her and she at him and nobody seemed ready to speak first. "Uh..." he finally said... "wow."

"Wow," she agreed. "Yeah," she added intelligently. "Was it, um, I mean, did I..."

"I didn't...too soon. Did I?"

"I didn't mean to..."

"I'm sorry. Usually I'm, y'know, better than that. I mean, y'know..."

"No, it's okay. I mean, it was wonderful."

"I mean..."

"You were terrific."

"So were you." He caught his breath. "You, uh, came. I saw you."

"Yeah." She felt what must be a truly silly smile spreading across her face. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"I was afraid, y'know, that I'd..."

"No, I'm sorry. I was rushing it."

"S'okay."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"Wow."

Joxer pushed himself over and toppled on the bed alongside her. "Oh, man," he muttered. After a moment he said, "If I say I love you will you hit me?"

"Probably."

"Then I won't."

"Good boy." Gabrielle rolled half onto her side to face him. He was lying on his side, his head propped up on one hand, looking at her and smiling. He had a great smile, Joxer did. A great, huge smile that always threatened to split his face right in two, and she leaned forward and kissed it affectionately before she lay down and curled up contentedly against him. "Just remember."

"Yeah, yeah. Changes nothing."

"I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"Right." He stroked her hair.

"Don't get to thinking-�" She half-rolled onto her back so she could see his face again. "I don't know if it will ever change, Joxer. I can't promise you that." That same wave of painful affection washed over her again, and she caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. "I wish I could," she said softly.

Again he looked at her with that gaze that saw everything and never backed away. "I know," he said. "But I also know..." He paused, visibly groping for the right words. "I know I love you and I always will. And I'll always be here for you. No matter what."

The next thing she knew she was hugging him tightly, her face buried in his neck. "I don't deserve you," she said, hoping her voice didn't betray the tears.

After a moment he said, "That's right. You don't."

Gabrielle half-laughed and let him go. He'd deliberately lightened the mood again. He was good at that-�that was one technique of his she'd definitely have to learn. "Joxer, don't ever change."

"Who needs to change when they're perfect?" He flung himself over onto his back, a smug smile on his face. Gabrielle pillowed her head on his chest with a happy sigh. "Cyane's gonna have a bird," she said.

"I'd rather not think about Cyane right now, thank you."

Some evil impulse prompted her to add, "And forget about Xena."

"Xena!" Joxer went tense under her, and she stifled the giggle. "Boy, I bet she'll be mad."

"You're kidding. Right?"

"Yeah, I bet we woke her up."

"Right? Oh, come on."

"You know how she hates it when someone wakes her up."

"Not funny, Gabrielle."

"Yeah, I bet she'll be up here any minute now."

"NOT...FUNNY."

Gabrielle fell into a fit of giggles. "Oh," he huffed, "I'm glad you think it's funny."

"It is."

"That's all I need. Chakram surgery." His tone became genuinely worried. "Do you really think she'll be..."

"No, of course not." Gabrielle stroked his hair affectionately. "Trust me. I know her." Actually, she didn't know exactly how Xena would react�-but Xena was always refusing to give Gabrielle any advice whatsoever one way or another about Joxer, instead just repeating over and over again how it was none of her business with that maddening deliberately inscrutable look on her face. And she'd hidden Joxer's secret from Gabrielle for all those years, too...No, after all that Xena was just going to have to deal with whatever her reaction was. And Joxer shouldn't have to, wasn't going to have to, worry about it. "We're family, don't forget. And you too."

"Well." He sighed, then twisted his head up just enough to quickly kiss her. "It'll be interesting, anyway. It's always interesting around you guys."

"Tell me about it."

He put his arms around her and settled down, half-pulling her onto his chest. She curled up happily against him in a warm, relaxed state halfway between sleep and arousal, waiting to see which way it would go. After a minute he started snoring softly.

Well, that answered that question. Gabrielle watched him affectionately for a few minutes, allowing the familiar and comforting sound to bring up a thousand pleasant memories, before she yawned and nestled down alongside him. Yeah, it would be interesting. She'd have to tell Xena, and the village would find out about it, and sooner or later her family, and it would get incredibly complicated if Joxer started getting above himself, and...

Yeah, interesting, she thought as she drifted off. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

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