DOGS IN CLOVER
"A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"
Show #7
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. QUEEN'S HUT - MORNING
XENA is sitting at the kitchen table, cradling EVE in the
crook of one arm while she sips something out of a mug. From
outside there is a SPLASH, and a YELL. Xena smiles.
XENA
(to Eve)
Good girl.
Eve LAUGHS. The front door come open and JOXER enters,
carrying the morning scroll; he casts a worried glance out
the door before closing it.
JOXER
Uh...the ambassador just fell into
her hot tub. I guess she was
sleepwalking or something.
XENA
Or something.
Eve LAUGHS again. Joxer looks at them suspiciously.
JOXER
Cause like there's no other way she
could have done it.
Eve claps her hands.
JOXER (CONT'D)
(reproachfully)
Oh, Xena.
XENA
Lysandra's asking for it.
JOXER
You shouldn't mess with her. She is
the ambassador.
XENA
She's a pain in the butt. And you
should be on my side. You can't even
go out of the house without her
getting all offended and shrieking
about "violations of womyn's safe
space" or some such rot.
Joxer walks into the kitchen, stopping to hand Xena the
scroll.
JOXER
It's only for a couple more days.
Just until Gabrielle gets the peace
accord signed with Lysandra's tribe.
Xena looks at Eve and makes a face, causing the baby to
chortle.
XENA
Awww. No more fun, Evie.
JOXER
You know, you ought to take this
seriously. This is really important
to Gabrielle.
Xena gives him The Look.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I, I mean, you should...think about
taking it seriously.
(wilts quickly)
Maybe. If you wanted to.
Xena lets him squirm for another few seconds before letting
him off the hook.
XENA
Lysandra is an idiot. You know it, I
know it, and Gabrielle knows it.
JOXER
She's still an ambassador. We oughta
at least respect her position. She
has her dignity.
The front door opens and LYSANDRA walks into the room. She
is wearing an ankle-length pink nightshirt with very unAmazony
ruffles at the collar and cuffs. She is sopping wet, and
there are leaves clinging to her shirt and hair.
LYSANDRA
Xena. You did this.
XENA
Not me. I don't do pink.
LYSANDRA
You and your patriarchal-oppressor-
male-god-spawned-devil-child there
dumped me into my own hot tub.
XENA
Lysandra, you were sleepwalking again,
go back to bed.
LYSANDRA
If I'd been in my bed instead of
floating in mid-air three feet above
the surface of the tub, it wouldn't
matter, would it?
JOXER
Here, I'll get you a towel.
He grabs the afghan off the back of the couch. Lysandra backs
away from him in alarm.
LYSANDRA
Keep it away from me. It's trying to
attack.
XENA
Joxer, no kill.
JOXER
Very funny.
He puts the afghan back. Lysandra pulls leaves out of her
hair.
LYSANDRA
Look at this.
XENA
Hmn. Looks like you have root rot.
LYSANDRA
I'm tired of your damn hedges dropping
leaves all over my property. I want
them trimmed.
XENA
I like the hedges the way they are.
LYSANDRA
I mean it, Xena. No more of your
leaves on my lawn, or I'm going to
the Council.
XENA
(to Eve)
Ooooh, Evie. The COUNCIL.
Lysandra pulls herself up straight, fuming, and looks for
something to hit.
LYSANDRA
(indicating Joxer)
And I want that out of here, too.
She leaves. GABRIELLE comes downstairs.
JOXER
I'll trim the hedges.
XENA
Joxer, you're not to touch the hedges.
Gabrielle walks across the room and studies the wet patch on
the floor. She leans over and picks up a wet leaf.
GABRIELLE
I see Lysandra's been here already.
XENA
Yes...we had a nice discussion about
gardening.
GABRIELLE
Two more days, Xena. Just two more
days and the agreement will be signed.
XENA
And then the fun's over.
Gabrielle flicks the wet leaf off her fingers in disgust.
GABRIELLE
Just once. Just once I'd like
everything to work out right in the
end. Have everyone get along. Have a
peace accord go through. Have one
little agreement reached without
everyone involved have to hit each
other with swords to do it.
She walks back off towards the kitchen. Joxer watches her
go.
XENA
(not looking around)
Don't worry. Nobody will have to be
decapitated for this one.
She jiggles Eve so that Eve LAUGHS.
XENA (CONT'D)
Especially not my hedges.
FADE OUT:
ACT ONE
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT BACKYARD - DAY
Facing the house, so that we can see the lattice-work door
leading into the main room, the porch, and the neatly-trimmed
hedge along one side of the property that serves as the
dividing line between the Queen's Hut and Lysandra's house.
Gabrielle, Xena, CYANE, and RHYSIS are sitting in chairs
grouped around a table on the patio. Eve is playing with a
ball on the grass nearby, close enough that Xena can keep an
eye on her. There is an EWER on the table, and everyone has
wine-cups. Gabrielle is filling Cyane's.
GABRIELLE
...I really don't see the Council's
objection. Why would they want to
keep up this ridiculous feud anyway?
CYANE
Tradition. Oh, don't look at me like
that -- I think it's ridiculous too.
But I never could get them to see
it.
(takes cup)
This is definitely going to be a
feather in your headdress if you can
get this agreement through.
XENA
If? I thought it was all settled.
CYANE
(darkly)
You don't know the Council.
(takes a rather large
drink at the mention
of its name)
If for no other reason than getting
them all to agree on something for a
change, this'll be a cause for a
celebration ritual.
Xena's gaze goes to Eve, and then beyond her. She stiffens.
XENA
(looking intently at
whatever it is that
has caught her eye)
How about if we burn Joxer at the
stake?
CYANE
Works for me.
GABRIELLE
Hey.
XENA
Look. Look at the hedges.
Everyone does, although no one sees quite sure of what it is
they're supposed to see.
RHYSIS
They look nice enough.
XENA
That's not the point. Joxer!
He comes out of the house.
JOXER
What?
XENA
The hedges.
JOXER
Oh...don't they look nice.
He has made the mistake of coming too close to the table.
Xena grabs him by one ear and pulls his head down.
XENA
Didn't I tell you not to trim the
hedges?
JOXER
Ow! I didn't.
XENA
Then how did they get like that?
JOXER
I haven't gone out of the house
because every time I go any further
than the porch Lysandra's guards
throw spears at me. I don't know
anything about your old hedges.
Xena glares at him for a minute, then lets him go. She gets
up, picks up Eve, and walks over to the hedge.
RHYSIS
The Western tribe has been known to
be overly paranoid like that.
CYANE
Yeah.
(another large drink)
RHYSIS
That's a professional shaman opinion,
of course.
Lysandra walks up on the other side of the hedge. She is
smirking.
LYSANDRA
Xena.
XENA
Lysandra.
Xena glares. Lysandra looks smug.
XENA (CONT'D)
You know, odd thing, but my hedges
seem much smaller all of a sudden.
LYSANDRA
That's because I trimmed them.
GABRIELLE
Does anyone remember why the tribes
started feuding in the first place?
CYANE
(big drink)
Nah.
RHYSIS
It was probably some trivial insult
that got blown all out of proportion.
Knowing these tribes.
XENA
You trimmed my hedges.
LYSANDRA
I decided not to get angry. After
all, I would hardly expect a barbaric
tribe that keeps men in their houses
to know anything about civilized
standards of yard-work.
CYANE
Excuse me?
RHYSIS
Oh, come on, Cyane, we're just as
bad as they are, and you know it.
CYANE
I highly, highly doubt that.
XENA
You touched my hedges?
LYSANDRA
Don't be childish, Xena.
XENA
You touched my hedges.
LYSANDRA
That's right, and I'm going to touch
them again.
(touches hedge)
There.
Xena smiles one of those Xena-smiles that makes sane people
run away. Lysandra doesn't.
XENA
Eve, Mummy hates what the nasty lady
did to the hedges.
Eve frowns for a minute, and suddenly the hedge growth springs
back, even more ragged and abundant than it was before.
Lysandra springs away.
CYANE
It's the Western tribe that's refused
to listen to reason all these years.
The Western tribe, and... the Council.
(shudders)
Gimme another drink.
LYSANDRA
That's just typical of this tribe.
This sort of decadent, unAmazonian,
patriarchal anti-nature behavior...
XENA
Patriarchal? What a good idea.
(over shoulder)
Joxer! Come here.
JOXER
(suspicious)
No spears?
XENA
No spears.
Joxer walks over to stand by Xena. Lysandra backs away from
the hedge.
XENA (CONT'D)
Now be a good boy and stand right
there.
JOXER
For how long?
XENA
Two days.
LYSANDRA
Guards!
XENA
You're going to be a kind of scare-
idiot.
JOXER
Hey.
GABRIELLE
It seems to me the Council's just a
little too tied up in appearances.
They're afraid the other tribes will
think they're not Amazony enough.
You know, if they make peace they're
compromising.
CYANE
Well, we have to take a firm stand
on matters. The, I know you hate to
hear it, tradition.
GABRIELLE
But this tribe has changed. We've
learned to be a little more flexible,
I think.
CYANE
Don't rub it in.
XENA
Be careful, Lysandra. You're standing
too close there. You might get man-
cooties.
LYSANDRA
You are not taking any of this
seriously, are you? You have no
respect for our tribe, and our
beliefs, and our customs...
XENA
And your pink nightgowns, don't forget
those.
Eve LAUGHS.
RHYSIS
It's just all the more impressive,
then, that you're the first Queen
who's been able to even get the two
tribes talking.
LYSANDRA
That's it.
She pulls a dagger from her waist and flings it into the
ground at Xena's feet.
LYSANDRA (CONT'D)
Not only will we never debase
ourselves to your level, we shall
not allow this foul excuse for a
tribe to drag the reputation of the
Amazon nation through the mud any
longer.
She turns and walks o.s. away from the hedge. Gabrielle,
Rhysis, and Cyane are all looking now.
CYANE
And not only that, the first Queen
who ever pushed them over the brink
into open warfare.
There is silence for a moment.
JOXER
Can I go inside now?
INT. QUEEN'S HUT - LATER
A considerable confusion and milling around. In addition to
Gab, Xena, Cyane, and Rhysis, AMARICE and TONYA are in the
room, along with several members of the tribal council. Joxer
is sitting on a chair a little to the back of the room,
remaining silent. He's the only one. Everyone else is talking
in loud, excited voices.
GABRIELLE
Okay. Okay. Hold it! Everybody--
She gestures for silence.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Calm down! Please.
The talking more or less stops.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Thank you. Now...let's just calm
down and try to figure out where we
stand. Has Lysandra sent the
declaration to her tribe yet?
AMARICE
A messenger left her hut earlier. It
only takes a couple of hours to get
across the valley, if you ride hard.
RHYSIS
But they'll have to run it by their
Cyane, and then their Council.
CYANE
Can't you do some shaman thing and
find out what they're doing? You
know
(gestures vaguely)
go into a trance or something?
RHYSIS
It doesn't work like that.
XENA
It'll take them some time to mobilize
in any case.
Everyone looks upset at this, and the talking starts again.
XENA (CONT'D)
(trying to talk over
the voices)
Which means we have some time to
mount a defense.
RHYSIS
I can't believe it would come to
that. I mean, there has to be somebody
there with some common sense.
CYANE
With the Western tribe? Forget it.
TONYA
So...we're really going to war, then?
Stricken, Gabrielle turns away at this and walks a few feet
apart from the others. Joxer watches her.
CYANE
I suppose it was inevitable.
TONYA
But we were going to have peace. And
we were so close.
Gabrielle leans on a chair. Joxer watches her for another
few seconds, then gets to his feet and leaves unnoticed
through the porch door.
RHYSIS
(sighs)
I suppose not.
Gabrielle visibly collects herself and walks back to the
group.
GABRIELLE
(slightly shaky voice)
Yes. We'd better...start planning
for a defense. Just in case.
She takes one more breath to finish steadying herself.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Okay. Now then. Cyane, where do we
stand as far as archers go...
EXT. WESTERN VILLAGE GATE -- LATER
The Western village, unlike the one we are familiar with, is
fortified with a high wall around its perimeter, and a barred
gate blocking access. Joxer, wearing his armor (which we
haven't seen since episode 3, and we haven't missed it either)
comes riding up to the gate on ARGO. He reins her to a halt
and dismounts, wincing when he hits the ground. Argo WHICKERS.
JOXER
You did that on purpose, didn't you?
Argo flicks her tail and doesn't answer. Joxer walks stiffly
to the gate. He spends a few moments looking left and right,
then knocks tentatively as if it were the door to a house.
He waits a second and then, when there is no answer, knocks
again, harder this time.
GUARD (O.S.)
(from atop the wall)
Who goes there?
JOXER
I've come to talk to the Cyane.
GUARD (O.S.)
There are no men allowed in this
village. Leave now or face the
consequences.
JOXER
(aggravated)
Oh, COME ON.
(mutters to himself)
Amazons...
He pounds on the door again.
JOXER (CONT'D)
Let me in, darn it.
GUARD (O.S.)
Only Amazons are allowed in this
village.
JOXER
I am an Amazon.
GUARD (O.S.)
You are not.
JOXER
I'm married to one.
GUARD (O.S.)
How many legs you got?
JOXER
Two.
GUARD (O.S.)
Get outta here!!
JOXER
Now LOOK.
He steps back from the wall a couple of feet and shouts up
in the general direction of the guard's voice.
JOXER (CONT'D)
I've come from the Eastern tribe. I
want to talk to the Cyane.
GUARD (O.S.)
The Eastern tribe sent a man to speak
for them?
JOXER
Look, I'm just trying to stop everyone
from making a big mistake...
He is still looking up at the top of the wall and doesn't
notice that the gate has opened and a group of Amazons with
swords and spears are headed straight for him.
JOXER (CONT'D)
...nobody really wants a war, and
the whole thing is just a big
misunderstanding, and if I could
just talk to the Cyane...
At this point he realizes he has about half-a-dozen blades
against his throat.
JOXER (CONT'D)
Um, I mean a friendly talk, of course.
A very, very friendly and...non-
aggressive talk, definitely non-
aggressive, I...
The Amazons hustle him into the village at swordpoint, and
the gate swings shut behind them. Argo stands alone outside
the wall. After a moment, she takes a mouthful of grass and
stands, chewing thoughtfully.
FADE OUT:
ACT TWO
EXT. QUEEN'S HUT -- EVENING
It is that evening.
INT. QUEEN'S HUT -- CONTINUOUS
ANGLE ON XENA
She is sitting on the couch with Eve on her lap. Cyane and
Rhysis are studying a map on the kitchen table, and Amarice
is seated in a chair, sharpening her sword. Gabrielle paces
back and forth behind the couch.
XENA
I suppose you think this is all my
fault.
No one appears to be listening.
XENA (CONT'D)
Can you believe how touchy Lysandra
is?
Gabrielle stops by the table and looks at the map.
XENA (CONT'D)
You'd think if a tribe wanted peace
it would send an ambassador that
could take a little joke or two.
(pause)
And that could keep her mitts off of
other people's hedges.
There is still no response from anyone. Xena sits back on
the couch, looking disgruntled. Tonya enters through the
front door with a scroll.
TONYA
Xena...message for you.
She hands it to Xena. Xena unrolls the scroll and reads it.
XENA
Cleopatra? Last time I heard from
her must have been...ten summers
ago. Gabrielle, you met her a little
while back, didn't you?
GABRIELLE
(distracted)
Hmn?...Oh. Sorry, Xena.
She walks back across the room.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Amarice, go out and check that the
archers are in place around the
perimeter, okay?
AMARICE
Sure.
She leaves. Frowning, Gabrielle looks around the room, as if
she's misplaced something. She stops, turns around, walks a
couple of steps, then stops and looks again.
GABRIELLE
Something's missing.
(frowns)
Has anybody seen Joxer lately?
Rhysis and Cyane look up. Xena looks to one side of the room
and then the other.
XENA
He must be keeping out of the way.
(somewhat surprised)
For a change.
TONYA
I saw him down at the stable a few
hours ago.
Xena sits up straight on the couch and looks around at
Gabrielle, who is staring back at her.
GABRIELLE
Oh...no. Tonya, what was he doing?
TONYA
Saddling Argo. I was wondering if he
was going to run the message down to
the Agricultural Collective and save
me the trip, y'know? But I guess
not.
CYANE
He's run out on us?
XENA
(slowly)
Nothing so smart.
GABRIELLE
Xena, he wouldn't.
RHYSIS
Wouldn't want?
XENA
Have gone to the Western village?
Yeah -- you bet he would.
CYANE
(standing up straight,
very alarmed)
He's going over to the other side?
XENA
No. He's probably trying to stop
them from attacking.
GABRIELLE
And probably getting himself killed
in the process.
CYANE
(calms down)
Oh, all right then.
GABRIELLE
What?!
CYANE
That solves at least two problems
right there. No more man in village,
no more marriage.
Rhysis pokes her and makes a face.
CYANE (CONT'D)
(to Rhysis)
What?
(to Xena and Gab)
Shame to lose that horse of yours,
though, Xena.
She rolls up the map.
CYANE (CONT'D)
We'd better take this to the Council
Hall. Are you coming, Gabrielle?
GABRIELLE
In a minute.
CYANE
Okay, then.
She and Rhysis leave. Tonya fidgets nervously.
XENA
Oh...Tonya.
She looks at the scroll Tonya has given her.
XENA (CONT'D)
Send a reply message to Cleopatra.
Tell her...tell her I've got my own
damn problems to worry about.
Tonya nods, takes the scroll, and leaves. Neither Xena nor
Gabrielle say anything for a minute.
XENA (CONT'D)
Well. This is all very...Joxer.
GABRIELLE
The Western tribe hates men.
They'll...
She can't finish the sentence.
XENA
I mean, it's typical Joxer, y'know?
To go and do something stupid like...
(pause)
...like harass an ambassador, even
if she is asking for it.
GABRIELLE
(automatic)
It wasn't your fault.
XENA
It might not have been...but I didn't
help matters much.
She takes a solemn-looking Eve into her arms.
GABRIELLE
(determinedly bright)
Well...you know Joxer. He probably
got lost or something before he even
got there.
(face falls)
And then the bears would have gotten
him.
(very cheerful once
more)
But Argo can outrun bears.
(face falls)
But he can't ride. But...
(cheerful)
but...
XENA
You could send somebody after him.
GABRIELLE
No, I can't. That would definitely
set the whole situation off. I
can't put the whole tribe in
jeopardy for one person, I...
She stops talking abruptly and walks across the room into
the kitchen, fidgeting with the RING on her finger. Xena
watches her anxiously. Eve suddenly twists about, facing the
door and talking fretful baby-talk, and after a moment the
door opens.
ANGLE ON FRONT DOOR
Amarice is there, supporting Joxer, who is leaning heavily
on her and limping badly. He has a scroll tucked under one
arm. Amarice helps him into the room. Xena and Gabrielle
turn around, and Xena stands up.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Joxer!
XENA
Joxer?
She heads across the room to them. Gabrielle starts to do so
as well, but after a couple of steps slows to a halt. Xena
and Amarice prop Joxer up on his feet, and Eve reaches out
and makes querulous demanding noises until Xena relents and
gives her to him to hold. Gabrielle remains a few feet away
from the group, tense and fingering her ring.
XENA (CONT'D)
Joxer, are you all right?
JOXER
Yeah.
XENA
(fussing; checking
him for injuries)
Do you want to sit down?
JOXER
(rather loudly)
NO.
Xena glares.
JOXER (CONT'D)
(rather not as loudly)
No...that's all right. I'd, uh, rather
not.
(pause)
Long ride.
XENA
(comprehending now)
Ah.
She settles for brushing invisible dirt off his shoulder.
XENA (CONT'D)
Eli's god, where have you been? We
thought you went to the Western
village.
JOXER
I did.
(catching breath)
I got in and talked to the Cyane.
AMARICE
You got in and got out again? How
did you do that?
JOXER
It wasn't hard, really. I mean, they
thought I was a spy at first and
their Cyane threatened me a lot, but
I wasn't nervous because she's not
as good at it as our Cyane is. She
doesn't have anywhere near as much
of an imagination. Anyway.
It takes him a moment to safely get the scroll out from under
his arm without dropping Eve. She LAUGHS, unaware of the
danger of being around Joxer while he is trying to do two
things at once.
JOXER (CONT'D)
The Cyane said, since Lysandra was
mostly mad at me being in the village,
and at you calling her names, that
it wasn't really an Amazon matter,
since you and me aren't Amazons, and
she said if you apologized to
Lysandra, that would be enough.
He offers the scroll to Xena. She looks at it but doesn't
take it.
AMARICE
That's it? All she has to do is
apologize? But Lysandra said...
JOXER
Yeah, I know. The Cyane said
Lysandra's an idiot.
Xena is still staring at the scroll.
AMARICE
This is great! There isn't going to
be a war after all.
GABRIELLE
Amarice, let Cyane know what's going
on, then go ask Lysandra to meet us
in the Council Hall.
AMARICE
Right away, boss.
She leaves.
GABRIELLE
Joxer, go take Eve into the nursery.
Xena is still staring at the scroll. Gab finally approaches
them and takes the scroll herself.
JOXER
Sure. You think you can get Lysandra
to sign the peace accord, too?
GABRIELLE
I'm going to try. Keep out of sight
until it's over, okay?
JOXER
Okay.
He starts to move off and winces.
GABRIELLE
And go take care of that.
JOXER
(pause)
You could kiss it and make it b--
GABRIELLE
Joxer, don't even think about it.
JOXER
Right.
(sighs)
Come on, Evie.
He walks stiffly o.s. with Eve. Xena hasn't moved. Gabrielle
looks at her.
GABRIELLE
Xena...
XENA
Apologize to Lysandra?
GABRIELLE
It'll prevent this situation from
getting even more out of hand than
it has to.
XENA
Yes, but...apologize to Lysandra?
GABRIELLE
Didn't you just tell me it was partly
your fault for aggravating her in
the first place?
XENA
Yes, but...apologize to Lysandra?!
Gabrielle folds her arms and stares Xena down. Xena turns
away.
XENA (CONT'D)
I don't have to like it.
GABRIELLE
But you have to do it.
XENA
I don't have to do anything. I --
GABRIELLE
Oh, yes you do. You helped stir all
this nonsense up. I swear
(smug Xena tone)
you're getting more and more like
Joxer every day.
Xena whirls around at that, a dangerous look in her eye, but
Gabrielle doesn't flinch. After a moment Xena collects
herself.
XENA
That was low.
GABRIELLE
Yes.
XENA
(still miffed)
And undeserved.
GABRIELLE
Maybe so. Considering that Joxer's
the only one around here who's managed
to keep his head through this whole
thing.
XENA
Now there's a scary thought.
GABRIELLE
Give him a little credit, Xena.
She turns away, not facing Xena any more, musing aloud.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
(almost to herself)
He's changed. He's not like he used
to be.
She hears what she is saying and an odd expression crosses
her face before she visibly shakes it away.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Anyway. We'd better get this to
Lysandra before something else
happens.
Xena watches her thoughtfully as she walks to the door.
INT. COUNCIL HALL -- LATER
The Council Hall is a long, probably oversized building with
double rows of benches along its walls, and a long table at
the opposite end from the door. The table has a pot of INK
and a QUILL on it, along with various slightly unsettling
Amazon ritual objects. Gabrielle and Xena are standing beside
the table, along with Cyane, Amarice, and Rhysis. Lysandra
is standing in front of them, her guards flanking her, and
she is reading the scroll Joxer brought from the Western
village.
LYSANDRA
(grudgingly)
Well. It appears my orders are clear,
that if the conditions are met
(looks pointedly at
Xena)
the peace accord can go through as
planned.
Cyane, Amarice, and Rhysis all look at Xena as well. This
affects Xena not at all. Then Gabrielle adds a glare.
XENA
(under her breath)
All right already!
(to Lysandra; formal
tone)
Lysandra, I apologize for my
disrespect earlier and I assure you
it will not happen again.
She offers her hand. After a moment Lysandra takes her arm
in a formal warrior's handshake.
LYSANDRA
Apology accepted.
They do not release their grips and look hard at each other
for a moment.
XENA
Fine.
LYSANDRA
Fine.
After another moment of gripping and glaring, they let go.
Lysandra unrolls the scroll on the table and signs it, then
pushes it across the table to Gabrielle, who signs it as
well.
GABRIELLE
There.
She straightens up.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Lysandra, I can't tell you how pleased
I am that there is finally peace
between the tribes.
RHYSIS
It took generations to get to this
point. Everyone involved should be
proud.
LYSANDRA
Proud? That we had a man involved in
Amazon business?
Xena turns away, rubbing the bridge of her nose.
XENA
(under breath)
Oh, PLEASE don't start.
GABRIELLE
(deceptively pleasant)
You mean the one that was responsible
for the accord going through?
LYSANDRA
It's bad enough you're even allowing
a man within the boundaries of the
village, much less live in your own
house, but to allow him to interfere
with tribal matters...
GABRIELLE
Times change, Lysandra. People change.
Even Amazons.
LYSANDRA
Not that much. You could be stripped
of your title if you're not careful.
XENA
By who? You?
LYSANDRA
By the Hippolyta. I've already sent
a message to her, asking her to visit
and hand down a ruling on the matter.
GABRIELLE
I really don't feel that this is any
of your business, actually...
LYSANDRA
Oh, no. Now that we are allies--it
is my business.
She rolls up the scroll and hands it to one of her attendants.
LYSANDRA (CONT'D)
I am quite looking forward to working
with your tribe, though...once this
little matter is cleared up.
Everyone glares at her, except for Cyane.
CYANE
You know...I like the way you think.
She joins Lysandra and they walk out of the Council Hall
together, along with Lysandra's attendants. Amarice looks
outraged, and Rhysis unsurprised.
XENA
Oh yeah. This was a great idea.
GABRIELLE
But we have peace between the tribes
and nobody had to get killed, or
even hurt. If you don't count
Joxer's...whatever.
(pause)
You know, I'm beginning to think I
might make a good Queen someday after
all.
AMARICE
You are a good Queen.
GABRIELLE
Really?
AMARICE
Well...compared to the last time,
yeah.
Someone, probably Xena, steps on her foot.
AMARICE (CONT'D)
Ow. Well, it's true. You've changed.
GABRIELLE
(blinking)
I have?
AMARICE
Yeah. Like you were telling Lysandra.
Wasn't that what you meant, that
even Amazons learn?
GABRIELLE
(pause)
Yes. Yes, of course it was.
Both Xena and Rhysis are looking at her, bemused. She grows
visibly nervous.
GABRIELLE (CONT'D)
Yes. We...we learn from experience
about things. Like...like politics.
AMARICE
Leadership?
RHYSIS
Compromise.
XENA
Gardening.
GABRIELLE
(warning)
Xena...
Xena holds up her hands in surrender.
XENA
I promised. I'll be nice.
Gabrielle gives her a good approximation of the Look for
another few seconds.
XENA (CONT'D)
(aloud, as if to
herself)
I wonder what the hedge would look
like if I replanted it with hemlock.
FADE OUT:
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