Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 42

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

Slamming my chopsticks on the table I jumped off my seat, but slowly sat back down when I figured that it was the breakfast table I was sitting at, and not my bedroom.

*cling* *clang*

My ears twitched at the clattering of silverware as I meekly looked up from my bowl of rice. Staring at me with doe eyes, both my parents tilted their heads to the side while giving me glances of serious worry.

I forgot we were having family breakfast time.

“I told you she needed a shrink.”

Overwhelmed by HoHyung’s comment, my dad leaped off his seat and pointed a stubby finger in front of HoHyung’s face. Turning a bright shade of red, my dad’s booming voice shook the kitchen walls as he began the typical lecture he constantly graced HoHyung with.

“SuhHoHyung! Do you know how pretty your sister is?!”

Oh please don’t dad!

”Look at all these stick skinny girls! Your sister is a beautiful rose compared to all those weeds! You know, by the time she’s in college I’m sure she can be the next Miss Korea!”

Oh my God!

HoHyung was trying very hard not to let out the erupting laughs, but eventually let lose the rice in his mouth and fell to the floor in a fit of hilarity. Flicking off half chewed grains of rice, I rose from my seat and weakly began to walk away from the table. My brother continued to roll on the floor clutching his stomach, while my dad went on with his lecture.

“There she goes (assah) my Miss Korea! (assah)”

Of course my dad could not end it there, he had to add in his invented Miss Korea song. Covering my ears in shame, I rushed towards my room, but collapsed to the floor at the pulling of my left leg. Tightly holding onto my ankle, HoHyung continued to impersonate a hyena tumbling on the linoleum floor.

“LET ME GO!”

“PUHAHA! Dad said—PUHAHA! Miss Korea—PUHAHA!”

Getting up from the ground I walked towards my room, of course dragging HoHyung along with me. No matter how hard I shook my leg his hand clung onto my ankle like glue, and eventually I entered my room, as did HoHyung. I looked down annoyingly at HoHyung’s sprawled out body. His upper body was halfway into my room, and the rest was in the hallway of the living room.

As long as he was in there, I would make the best of him.

“So what the fu.ck is up with you and ChunEeSeul?”

Usually my brother told me absolutely nothing about his life. There was less than five times a year that SuhHoHyung would include me with the daily dramas that filtered in and out of his life. Of course most of the time I could care less, because without a doubt, 99% of the time it had to do with some girl that he made cry, because of some other girl, and some other girl, and more girls, etc. It was a vicious cycle that naïve girls did not understand. The SuhHoHyung black hole.

“EeSeul noona? What about her?”

NOONA?! How can you call sailor scout noona with such a loving tone?!

“You know the sailor scout?”

“Now that you mention it, EeSeul noona does look a lot like Sailor Venus.”

How in the world does he know the names of the sailor scouts? Even I don’t know that.

Humming the tune of Sailor Moon my brother began to head towards his bedroom. Chasing after him, I quickly grabbed the end of his shirt and pulled him back.

“Why are you dating that stupid sailor scout?! Out of all the girls why are you dating her?!”

“What the he.ll does it matter to you?!”

“Because it does!”

“Shut up and go roll around in some newspaper. Maybe it I’ll absorb some of your fat!”

Gliding out from the kitchen my dad stepped in between the two of us and glared at HoHyung. Oh he was going to get it now. Letting out an exasperating sigh, HoHyung frustratingly itched at his head and impatiently waited for my dad to scold him.

“There she goes (assah) my Miss Korea! (assah)”

“DADDY!”

Snickering loudly, HoHyung disappeared behind his bedroom door. Leaving my dad and mom waltzing around in the living room, I barged into my brother’s room. Just as I slammed open his door HoHyung pulled off his shirt.

“WHAT THE FU.CK!”

As if it mattered, HoHyung immediately covered his nipples, and continued to scream at me.

“DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?!”

Wow so this is how his room looks like?

“WHAT THE HE.LL ARE YOU DOING BARGING INTO MY ROOM YOU FREAKING GORILLA!”

Isn’t that my teddy bear that I’ve been missing for the last week? Why does it have a bow on it?

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE SUHBOHYUNG!”

Hehe…we have the same bed! He’s calling me.

“What?”

HoHyung looked at me as if I was psychotic, and began to roughly shove me out of his room. I immediately grabbed onto the desk next to the door, and held my ground.

“WHAT THE FU.CK! GET OUT!”

“NO!”

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!”

“Not right now.”

“THEN GET THE FU.CK OUT!”

“Tell me why you’re dating the sailor scout! TELL ME! TELL ME! If you don’t I’m going to tell the whole da.mn school we’re related!”

Oh my. That did it.

“What do you know about EeSeul noona?”

FIGHTING EVIL BY MOONLIGHT! WINNING LOVE BY DAYLIGHT! NEVER RUNNING FROM A—

“Nothing.”

“Exactly. Don’t pass judgment on her when you know nothing about her.”

*SLAM*
 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 43

*DING DONG*

Out of habit, my hand slammed down on my alarm clock, and the room was once again silenced. I grouchily pulled the covers over my head, and started to head back to sleep when…

*DING DONG*

Lazily reaching out for the alarm clock again, I heard a loud thud and forced myself to squint open my eyes. The bright sunlight pained my eyes, so I tried to close the blinds, only to find out my mother had tied the string in some kind of bow to stop me from closing them.

*DING DONG*

I looked down at my fallen digital alarm clock, and realized it was the doorbell ringing, and not my wake up call. Huffing to myself, I threw the alarm clock on my bedside, and headed out of my room. Looking around the empty living room, I kicked at the couch and shuffled towards the impatient door.

*DING DONG*

Upset at the world I swung the door open full force. I angrily stared down at two girls no older than 16. The shorter of the two girls held onto a neatly wrapped present. I lifted a single eyebrow and waited for one of the girls to hurry and explain why they were going A.D.D. on my doorbell. The two girls remained silent and stared at me in half shock and half amusement.

“Is there something I can do for you girls?”

“Um…is this the house of…”

House of? People that sleep in on Saturdays? Why yes it is.

Then the other girl, the taller one, finished up what the short girl had started.

“Unnie, we were just wondering if this is where HoHyung oppa lives.”

“Yes he lives here. If you want me to give him that—“

A dripping wet arm wrapped around my shoulder. I turned my head only to come face to face with my brother’s white face. HoHyung’s sudden appearance must have been quite a shock, because both girls gasped and each leaned on one side of our door for support. Rolling my eyes, I looked over at HoHyung who smiled warmly at the girls.

“Sunbae! Please take this!”

Closing her eyes and stretching out her arm, the girl shoved the present forward. Instead of taking the present HoHyung pulled off the wet towel from around his neck and began to dry his bleached hair.

“Thanks, but I can’t accept this.”

The present girl looked like she was about to cry, and the taller girl bravely spoke up.

“But sunbae! Didn’t you want a new mp3 player?!”

I don’t know, but…I DO!

HoHyung graciously accepted the gift, and to everyone’s surprise, shut the door.

“What are you doing!”

“What?”

“Oh my God! You can’t just take their present then close the door on their faces!”

HoHyung distorted his face, but quickly put on a charming smile as he reopened the door. He carefully played the present back into the hands of the shocked girl. Like a routine movement, HoHyung leaned into to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. Completely disgusted by my brother I squirmed to get away from him, but somehow remained absolutely pressed against his side.

“Starting two years I wasn’t allowed talk to any girls. I’m a one girl, guy. Since I have a wifey now, I’ll be seeing you girls never again!”

SLAM

“Isn’t that a bit harsh HoHyung?”

“Scaring the poor girls into believing you’re my wife? Yea it is, but they’ll get over it.”

In the last two years, my brother has changed a lot. Probably because of me, and I’m thankful, but sometimes I wish he changed a little bit more.

“You going out with EeSeul today?”

“Stupid question.”

Obviously.

As I opened my bedroom door so I could get back in bed, HoHyung walked out from his bedroom with an intrigued look across his mischievous face.

“Noona, I heard some rumors at school that—“

*DING DONG*

Don’t they know when to give up?!

“Holy sh.it it’s a monster!”

…KimJaeJoong?

SLAM!

Wide eyed, and dreaming up a nightmare, I leaned against my shut door and looked over at my brother for help. HoHyung walked over towards me as he tossled his wet hair.

“Who is it?”

“No one! Don’t ever open the door again!”

My hand went up to feel my tornado ridden hair, and closed my eyes in embarrassment as I leaned against the door and slide down onto the ground. HoHyung squatted before me and looked at me inquiringly.

“You okay noona? Who’s at the door?”

My head fell down to examine the red granny pajamas and my mismatching “I’m a princess” t-shirt. Without much thought, I screamed and buried my head into my knees.

*DING DONG*

NO MORE DING DONGING!

Due to the fact that I was leaning against the door, I fell flat on my back as HoHyung opened the door. Looking straight up from the ground I watched as both HoHyung and JaeJoong stared at each in disbelief.

“SuhHoHyung!”

“KimJaeJoong!”

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 44

There was too much to think about. I slowed down my steps as to keep a good distance away from HoHyung, who was walking at least five feet ahead of me. As each block passed by, another girl would step out and join HoHyung’s side. I knew he was popular with the girls, but not this popular.

“Sunbae, are you really dating that famous unnie from SaeJong?”

My ears perked up at the mentioning of ChunEeSeul. The stupid girls continued to chatter away about the useless life of my brother.

“Her name is ChunEeSeul right?”

“Are you really dating her sunbae?”

“Is she nice to you?”

Angry that my school was filled with such dumb girls that would fall for a guy like my brother, I stormed past the group. Just as I passed HoHyung and his gang of brainless females, the statement coming out of HoHyung’s mouth caught me off guard and caused me to come to an abrupt halt.

“Starting today I can’t talk to any of you. I’m a one girl, guy now. Since I have a wifey now, I’ll be seeing everyone never again!”

SWISH

With that SuhHoHyung expertly disappeared from the crowd. My mouth stood hanging open while HoHyung’s back rushed past me. After the initial state of shock faded away, I once again began heading towards my school.

Still crowded with the thoughts of HoHyung and ChunEeSeul, I entered the noisy classroom. Expecting to see the usual clicks of students in their usual corners of the room, I headed towards my desk, but for the second time that morning, stood with my mouth gaping at the scene before me.

Surrounded by a group of “popular” girls, HeeJoo sat quietly chattering away with them. I focused in on HeeJoo’s moving mouth trying to read her lips. Unfortunately, I really didn’t know how to read peoples’ mouth, so I failed miserably. Instead I cautiously walked past the group of girls trying not to make it too obvious that I wanted HeeJoo to notice me.

“Hey BoHyung!”

Oh my God!

I had absolutely no clue that HeeJoo’s voice could be so strong. I quickly waved and rushed over to my desk. Trying to look as busy as possible, I rummaged through my bags, while stealing quick glances at HeeJoo giggling with our other classmates.

A sharp pain of betrayal poked at me over and over again.

You should be happy that HeeJoo has new friends! You shouldn’t feel this way SuhBoHyung! You’re just being childish.

I continuously told myself that it was bad of me to feel this way, but I couldn’t help but to long for my quiet, shy, and slightly introverted best friend back. Sighing to no one in particular, I asked myself if people changed overnight, or if I had just been ignoring the inevitable.

HeeJoo yah. What happened?

The cause of all my nightmares, rolled onto my desk. My eyes followed the invisible path of the banana milk, and I saw AnChilHyun standing silently at the side of my desk. Looking at the banana milk, then back at AnChilHyun, I gave him a questionable look.

“Are you giving this to me? You can’t possibly be giving this to me. Mr. Obsessive banana milk man is actually sharing?”

Scrunching his eyebrows together in annoyance, AnChilHyun walked away and settled into his seat.

“I already had three, and HeeJoo doesn’t like banana milk. If you don’t want it I’ll—“

I wonder…

“Hey AnChilHyun if I give this back to you does it mean I owe you one less—“

“Take it or leave it.”

I quickly opened it and began to gulp down the rich drink. I wasn’t going to give up a free drink. Turning around to face AnChilHyun, I glanced over at HeeJoo still chattering away. I was going to ask AnChilHyun if there was something up with HeeJoo, but changed my mind and swiveled forward.

“Nervous?”

My head turned at AnChilHyun’s sudden question.

Nervous? I wasn’t sure if that was the right way to describe how I felt. Nervous about losing my best friend. Maybe? Nervous about knowing absolutely nothing. Maybe?

“Nervous about what?”

AnChilHyun was quick to reply.

“About HeeJoo.”

Although I wanted to stop myself, I couldn’t help but to glance over at HeeJoo. Everything about her was suddenly so unfamiliar to me. She let her hair down, she had contacts, a tint of make up, and even her personality had changed over night. Although her changes came gradually, I still felt like I was being swept away by an unexpected tidal wave. I wondered how AnChilHyun could possibly cope with a girlfriend so different from what he had started off with.

“About HeeJoo?…”

“She’s changed a lot in the last week hasn’t she?”

I puffed out my cheeks and let my chin rest on the hard wooden desk.

Yea…she has changed a lot.

“It’s rude to turn your back to the person that’s talking to you.”

I turned around and leaned my elbows on the edges of AnChilHyun’s desk. For the longest second we looked into each other’s eyes, and for the tiniest millisecond on Earth, I felt like I was looking at someone that I could sincerely connect with.

All the heat in my body rushed to my face, and I prayed sincerely that I wasn’t blushing. Knowing that it would weirder if I hastily turned around, I continued to look at AnChilHyun. Finally AnChilHyun took the first step and broke our awkward gaze.

“Am I that good looking?”

What.The.Fu.ck.

“Is the go stick stuck up your—“

“Hyunnie yah, come over here for a second.”

Brushing away his bangs, AnChilHyun flicked me on the forehead and walked away towards HeeJoo and the other girls. The annoying cooing of the envious girls annoyed my eardrums. I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to forget the fact that for the next ten minutes before class started…I would be left alone.
 

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 45

“Noona! Get up from the ground!”

“Huh?”

“GET UP!”

I quickly picked myself off the floor and stared blankly at HoHyung. Angry as he.ll, HoHyung slammed the door shut, and I could see JaeJoong’s wrinkled expression disappearing.

*SLAM*

“Why the fu.ck is that fu.cktard at our house! Sh.it! Now my whole morning is ruined!”

JaeJoong’s a pri.ck, but I don’t think he’s a fu.ck…

*DING DONG*

“I’ll get—“

“DON’T OPEN THE DOOR NOONA!”

With the quickness of a lighting bolt, HoHyung swung the door open, and still standing at our front door, JaeJoong held up his hand in a light wave.

“Long time no see SuhHoHyung.”

“Stop loitering in front of our door before I call the security guard on you.”

Completely, no joke, ignoring HoHyung, JaeJoong walked into our house, just like he walks into YooChun’s house, and took a seat on our couches. Both HoHyung and I stood next to each other, staring at JaeJoong in disbelief. At this point it really did not matter how HoHyung and JaeJoong knew each other. The only thought going through my mind was…

You wonder why I call you a pri.ck?!

“KIMJAEJOONG! What the fu.ck do you think you’re doing!”

I fell back a few steps at HoHyung’s earsplitting scream.

“HoHyung ah, will you stop—“

”NOONA!”

I’m right next to you, no need to yell.

“Noona! You just don’t know! This fu.cker is the biggest—“

“Yo, BoHyung will you get out of that sh.it and go change. I don’t have all day.”

I looked confusedly at HoHyung, who looked even more lost than me. For a minute, brother and sister stared at each other in complete puzzlement, and exactly at the same time we looked back at JaeJoong who had the remote in his hand and began flipping through channels.

“KIMJAEJOONG! DON’T TOUCH OUR REMOTE!”

“I’m not touching your remote. I’m touching BoHyung’s remote.”

“DO YOU WANT TO DIE YOU SH.ITFACE!”

Wide eyed with an empty expression, JaeJoong stared up at HoHyung’s reddening face.

“Sh.itface? Look who’s talking. Remember on the rooftop of our first year?”

Rooftop? First year?

“What about your first year on the rooftop?”

HoHyung opened his mouth to object, but JaeJoong’s lazy words seemed to seep out faster.

“We liked the same girl during our first year. Your mighty brother there thought he’d be cool and have her choose, and she chose me. The only thing is, I didn’t really like her.”

How cute!

I immediately wiped away my smile when I caught the flames flashing in my brother’s eyes. This was absolutely the wrong time to be reminiscing about how adorable my brother must have looked after getting dumped. Especially for some last place like JaeJoong!

“Get the fu.ck out of my house!”

Hehe…I’m not the only one that’s been ignored by JaeJoong!

“Hey SuhBoHyung, how long are you going to stand there with that awful t-shirt?”

My head fell down and the painfully bright and vibrant “I’m a princess” lettering taunted me. I hadn’t even brushed my teeth yet! In an attempt to hide my bright granny pajama bottoms, I hid behind HoHyung.

“KIMJAEJOONG!”

“Listen HoHyung. Since you disappeared during our first year in high school, and I haven’t really seen you around that much in the last two years, lets just start all over. Call me ‘brother-in-law.’”

WHAT THE HE.LL!

“NOONA! Oh my God! That fu.cking rumor isn’t true is it?!”

What rumor?! No it’s not true! What rumor?! I don’t even go to a high school anymore! I’m a mature college student now! My name isn’t HwangYuRa!

“You aren’t really dating this di.ck head are you?!”

“NO!”

“Yes.”

I twirled over towards JaeJoong. Yes? NO!

“NO! It’s just a rumor HoHyung!”

HoHyung was now officially, totally overwhelmed.

“How can be just a rumor?! I don’t even go to fu.cking JoongAng and it’s all around our school that the famous JoongAng, KimJaeJoong, is dating some older girl named BoHyung!”

…how do these people know my name?

“Are you two just going to stand there and scream all day?”

“SHUT THE FU.CK UP KIMJAEJOONG!”

My head hurts!

Currently, I’m being dragged into my bedroom. I’m standing clueslessly by my bed, and at the door JaeJoong is shoving HoHyung’s foot out of the doorway and locking my door. HoHyung is now screaming and pounding on my door and I’m afraid it’s going to break open any second. On the other hand, KimJaeJoong is sitting at my desk turning on my computer.

“Hurry up and change. I don’t think we have that much time before HoHyung breaks open the door.”

I stared blankly at the back of JaeJoong’s pitch black head.

“NOONA! NOONA! KIMJAEJOONG IF YOU TOUCH MY SISTER I’M GOING TO CHOP OFF YOUR MANHOOD! I’M GOING TO FU.CKING KILL YOU! NOONA! NOONA!”

“Why are you still standing there. Hurry up and change.”

Does JaeJoong have eyes on the back of his head?

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 46

The scent of packed lunches floated in the air of the classroom while I tried to sneak in a quick nap. It was too bad just about all the girls in our classroom were huddled around my table. Since when did any of these girls ever even look in HeeJoo’s direction?

“HeeJoo yah, is ChilHyun good to you?”

“He’s so hot HeeJoo! You’re so lucky!”

“I heard he’s really good friends with ChunEeSeul from SaeJong High.”

Were guys the only thing on their minds?

“Is he a good kisser HeeJoo?”

Yup, guys are the only things on their minds. No doubt about it.

For over twenty minutes, I had my head buried into my arms, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t zone out the shrilly voices. I told myself that it was the chattering of voices that was annoying every last cell within me, but in reality it was actually the fact that HeeJoo and I had barely said a word since class started.

“Hey…”

My soft call went unnoticed. It was weird, but I had to gather the courage to actually interrupt the talking going around me. Getting up from my seat I tried not to look like I was glaring at anyone, but it was a bit hard when 99% of the people around you were complete idiots.

“Hey HeeJoo, can we talk for a bit?”

“Um…sure BoHyung.”

The class quieted down as HeeJoo rose from seat and followed me out. I could hear a girl questioning AnChilHyun whether he was going to stop me or not. It wasn’t like I was going to jump HeeJoo or anything, but then again it seemed like the whole class, along with HeeJoo, forgot we used to be best friends just a few days ago.

A reassuring reply softened my thoughts, and I told myself to thank AnChilHyun later.

“Save HeeJoo from what? BoHyung cares a lot more about HeeJoo than any of you do.”

AnChilHyun’s lasting comment encouraged me further, and I couldn’t help but to feel positive vibes as I opened the door leading out to the rooftop of the school. Sun light poured down on our faces as we took a step into the open.

I wasn’t expecting the rooftop to be empty, but I surely did not expect to see my brother. Both HeeJoo and I stared over towards the farthest corner from the door, and spotted HoHyung arguing with some other guy. Standing a few steps back, but nonetheless in between the two was another first year girl.

“They look like they’re fighting.”

I shrugged at HeeJoo’s comment and walked over towards another corner. Slightly curious as to what was going on, I stole another quick glance at HoHyung and the two others he was with, but then reminded myself I had my own problems to deal with.

“HeeJoo yah.”

Surprised at my voice, HeeJoo rapidly looked up at me with a worried expression. Although she was wearing a completely new face, I could still see my HeeJoo somewhere behind the make up and the contacts.

“BoHyung I—“

I’m not sure what it was, but I decided to interrupt HeeJoo and get my point across first. It probably had to due a lot with the fact that I was left in the dark for the last few days. I just couldn’t handle it any longer.

“HeeJoo, let me talk first.”

I took a deep breath in order to ready myself for all the words threatening to spill out. There was so much I had been holding back for the last week that I just didn’t know where to start.

“HeeJoo I’ve known you since junior high, and not once did I ever question our friendship. There weren’t any secrets between the two of us, or anything to hide at that. Then you started dating AnChilHyun, and even though you didn’t tell me anything about him or anyone else from your past, I was okay with that, because we’re friends.”

I took a deep breath and looked into HeeJoo’s face hoping to see some kind of reaction. A reaction is exactly what a got, maybe more. Tears streaming down her face, HeeJoo sniffled in and out and looked down at the floor.

This was not what I wanted!

“Don’t cry HeeJoo. I’m not mad. I’m just hurt you know. I mean I just felt like—“

“BoHyung ah!”

HeeJoo’s thin frame collapsed into me, and I awkwardly patted her back. I still had so much more to say, and if it was anyone else I would continue, but HeeJoo’s sobs caused me to bite my lips, and instead of her listening to me, it was me listening to her.

”I’m sorry BoHyung. I’m so sorry.”

The guilt started to sink in. There really wasn’t THAT much to be sorry about.

“It’s just that…”

Flushed bright red and soaked wet, HeeJoo looked so helplessly into my eyes, and that very moment, I felt like suddenly, it was my problem and not HeeJoo’s.

“BoHyung ah…I have never wanted to hold onto something…someone…this badly. Right now, everything in my site, it’s all completely blurry. The only thing I can see…is Hyunnie. You know me right? This isn’t me…it doesn’t fit me but…but…if this is the only way I can keep Hyunnie from…”

From?

“EeSeul…then…then this is what I’m going to do.”

It never hit me that maybe HeeJoo had changed for AnChilHyun…

“BoHyung, I’m so sorry that I didn’t think about you. Honestly…I couldn’t see anything…I just couldn’t see anything…except Hyunnie laughing and smiling with EeSeul…and all those memories of the past with EeSeul…I wasn’t going to let it happen again.”

Falling down to the floor, HeeJoo sat crying, and all I could do was sit down next her and watch her sob. After a good ten minutes, HeeJoo began to quiet down and it must have felt a lot better to get things in the open, because she smiled embarrassingly at me and took in a deep breath.

“I’m so sorry BoHyung…”

“Whatever. I’m glad we talked.”

”Me too—“

*CRASH*

We both jumped at the thunderous sound, and turned towards the flapping rooftop door. In the way corner stood the two other freshman that had been standing next to HoHyung, who was now gone.

I shrugged and helped HeeJoo up. Arm in arm, we headed back to class.

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 47

Clutching a one-piece sundress in my arms, I glared at the back of KimJaeJoong’s head. Moving inch by inch, I checked every second to see if he would randomly turn back.

“Are you just going to hold onto that dress or change into it?”

HUK?! What the he.ll! HOW DOES HE KNOW!

My head turned towards every direction in search of a hidden camera, or mirror, or even eyes on the back of his head. Even though it was my room, for some reason as I stood leaning against my walls, I felt it was the most dangerous place on Earth.

“Don’t worry I’m not looking. It’s not like there’s anything to look at anyway.”

I looked down at my chest, and although I didn’t have big chest, they still existed!

“JaeJoong ah why don’t you just wait out—“

“KIMJAEJOONG! I’m going to shove that big head of yours down the toilet as soon as you step out! If you even go 2 meters near my sister I’ll fuc.king kill you!”

HoHyung ah, the neighbors are going to call the cops on us.

In order for everyone’s well being, I decided it would be best if I hurried and got KimJaeJoong out of the house. I quickly pulled off my shirt and—

“OH MY GOD!”

Blank faced. Absolutely no facial expression at all.

“Don’t elementary school girls use that kind of bra?”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’m in shock and cannot scream out loud. I quickly pulled the dress over my head and embarrassingly turned away from KimJaeJoong who turned back to the computer and continued to play GoStop online.

OH MY GOD! HIGH SCHOOL PERV BOY!

I turned around so I was facing the wall, and continuously banged my head against the wall. I wanted to die more than anything.

“How heavy is your head SuhBoHyung? You’re shaking all the walls, and I can’t concentrate on my game!”

… Why is he the one yelling?!

“KIMJAEJOONG!”

I couldn’t take it anymore. I started to throw all the stuff animals on my bed at the back of KimJaeJoong’s head.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

In order to dodge the plush animals, KimJaeJoong ducked and ran all around my tiny room. Still angry at the fact that he saw me shirtless, I continued to throw anything I could pick up.

”NOONA! WHAT’S GOING ON! OH MY GOOD! NOONA! SHOULD I CALL THE COPS?! ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“SHUT THE FU.CK UP SUHHOHYUNG! YOUR SISTER IS TRYING TO KILL ME!”

“NOONA FIGHTING! GO NOONA! KILL HIM! BREAK HIS PERFECT NOSE!”

It was time to stop. I threw the object in my hand, my psychology book, which conveiniatly landed right on KimJaeJoong’s head.

THUD!

Landed on KimJaeJoong’s head…really hard…and not by the flat side of the book…but by the corner.

KimJaeJoong collapsed onto my bed.

OH MY GOD! I knock him out! OH MY GOD!

I rushed over to KimJaeJoong, and frantically shook him by the shoulders.

“KIMJAEJOONG WAKE UP! HEY! HEY!”

Oh my God! I’m going to go to jail!

“HOHYUNG! CALL THE POL—“

Smirking up at me KimJaeJoong suddenly pulled me down and…

One second he was knocked out. So why is he kissing me right now? … OH MY GOD!

I quickly grabbed the nearest stuff animal and repeatedly hit KimJaeJoong over the head. Eventually, he let me go, and as if nothing happened, got up unlocked my door, and walked out of my room.

This has to be some kind of nightmare.

“SH.IT THAT HURT SUHHOHYUNG!”

That’s what you get you fu.cking pri.ck! I HATE YOU! DIE! KILL HIM HOHYUNG!

I walked out and saw blood dribbling down the side of KimJaeJoong’s mouth. He looked like he was going to beat the living sh.it out of HoHyung.

“Oh my God, you’re bleeding KimJaeJoong!”

“Let him bleed to death!”

Please don’t fan the flame HoHyung.

“KimJaeJoong, I forgive you so lets go! TIME TO GO!”

Pulling down KimJaeJoong’s clenched fist I dragged him towards the door, but was forced to a halt by KimJaeJoong’s cold glare.

“At lest take off those pants, and wash your hair!”

That’s right I’m still wearing my p.j. pants and I haven’t washed up at all…

RING!

Answering his phone KimJaeJoong carefully wiped at the blood. I grabbed some tissue and handed it to him, and started to head towards the bathroom.

“How did you know I’m at the SuhChung apartments?…No I don’t have five minutes…Noona I told you…Fine.”

I told myself to walk into the bathroom, but for some reason I was still standing in the doorway, watching KimJaeJoong.

“Hey I’ll be downstairs, so hurry up.”

With that KimJaeJoong walked out of the apartment. Confused, and curious, I hurriedly got ready and rushed out of the apartment at HoHyung’s disapproval. As I exited the elevator I could see the backside of a thin girl facing KimJaeJoong. It seemed like they were deep into a conversation. Sliding towards the stairway I looked out and watched JaeJoong smoking a cigarette almost completely ignoring the girl.

“It’s because of that other girl you met! Is that the reason? Tell me. I can do anything and be anyone you—“

Throwing the butt into a nearby trashcan, JaeJoong ran his finger through his hair and looked down at the petite girl.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Let’s break up.”

…KimJaeJoong’s girlfriend?

“NO!”

“Noona, it’s already over.”

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 48

It was definitely an advantage being friends with HeeJoo after her “change.” I’m not sure if I wasn’t interested because they never paid attention to me or if I just never noticed them, but suddenly my eyes wandered in every which direction towards hot guys. I just couldn’t stop staring. It was if I was blind, and suddenly had been touched by God’s hand.

So lately my nights consisted of dragging HeeJoo out and wandering the city streets waiting for some hot guy to spot us, or at least spot HeeJoo. The plan was simple. We walked around, waited for some hot guy to hit on HeeJoo, then I announced she was taken, and the guy would then walk away, and I would feel like a complete rejected, but I was satisfied with the fact that I was able to stare at a hot guy for about five whole minutes.

That sentence is da.mn long even though I’m the one thinking it.

My eyes wandered towards the window, and a familiar super market passed by. Then Baskin Robbins, and a KFC, and a pharmacy…

“Mr. Bus man! STOP THE BUS!”

I missed the stop for HeeJoo’s house, and even though I was screaming like a mad woman, the bus driver ignored my pleas and continued to drive.

“STOP THE BUS!”

BAM!

Pulling my face off the window of the swinging bus doors, I cringed in pain and glared at the bus driver who looked at me innocently. A quiet laughter taunted my ears, and before I could take a good look I was falling out of the moving bus, and the only thing I saw was grayish white spiked hair.

RING!

“Hello?”

“Where are you BoHyung? I thought you were going to be over by 5.”

HeeJoo’s worried voice made me realize I was a good ten blocks away from her house. Contemplating on if I should catch a taxi or not, I sat down on the bus bench and pulled out my wallet.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes HeeJoo! Okay? OKAY! BYE!”

10,000 won. ($10)

Not wanting to break the 10,000won, I decided I could just run. So even though on my feet were the borrowed 50,000 won ($50) heels, I began to dash in the direction of HeeJoo’s apartments. When I finally got a block away from HeeJoo’s apartments I had to stop and rest at a nearby bench.

Female Lesson Number One. Never run 10 blocks in heels.

Female Lesson Number Two. Running 10 blocks makes you sweat and wrinkles your dress.

Female Lesson Number Three. When putting up your hair with bobby pins, always use hairspray or it’s useless.

“Dude I heard there was a psycho that got out of that female mental institu—“

A group of junior high students were giving me dirty looks. Punks.

“Booga! Booga! I’m going to feed you boys to a monster named JaeJoong! PUHAHA!”

…

Was it really that scary?

One of the boys screeched louder than the normal girl, and they all fled away like I really was from a mental institution. Just because I was sweaty, my hair looked like a bird nest, and I had my shoes in my purse…it didn’t mean I was insane!

I really didn’t care that people spit on the ground, dogs’ sh.it on the ground, and drunken men probably pee on the ground too. My feet were swollen and my cousin’s shoes no longer fit on my feet.

Walking towards HeeJoo’s apartments from the opposite direction than usual, I spotted two familiar figures quietly talking to each other near a tree on the side of the apartment complex. Not that I was nosy, but the two figures just looked too familiar. So I did what any other sane person would do. I hid behind a bush and eavesdropped.

Of course my intuition is correct! HeeJoo and … AnChilHyun? Did they have a date today?

My conscious told me that it was wrong to be eavesdropping, and that…

I wonder how they talk to each other?

“Oh HeeJoo baby I love you to death.”

The picture of AnChilHyun saying the following sentence just did not fit. How about…

“Hug me or die.”

Maybe?

As I pictured different types of AnChilHyun’s, the real AnChilHyun’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I was forced to shove my face towards the bushes so I could hear a bit better.

“Don’t cry HeeJoo. You know it breaks my heart to see you cry.”

HeeJoo’s crying?! WHY?! Did that bas.tard make her cry?! I’ll kill him!

I tried to peek through the tiny holes in between the branch leaves, but all I could see was AnChilHyun’s backside and parts of HeeJoo’s head.

“Hyunnie yah I *sniffle* I…I…”

“HeeJoo yah, this isn’t going to—“

AnChilHyun took a step back, and I could see HeeJoo’s shaking hands grabbing onto his arm.

“No…no…you said…you said you were going to be by my side! You said no matter what happened, you would be by my side!”

Never had I ever heard a person so desperate, and so frantic. Her voice shook with each word, and there was agony lingering after each breath. So badly I wanted to reach out to HeeJoo, but somehow remained absolutely still as I listened in on a conversation I wasn’t supposed to hear.

“HeeJoo you’re strong now. You don’t need me—“

“It’s because of EeSeul huh! Is that the reason? Tell me Hyunnie. I can do anything and be anyone you—“

AnChilHyun pulled HeeJoo into his grasp, and for the first time I noticed how much they differed in size. He seemed like a giant compared to HeeJoo. Sobbing into AnChilHyun’s chest, HeeJoo cried like no tomorrow, and the whole time AnChilHyun held her.

A good thirty minutes passed. My feet had lost feeling long ago, and I started to worry about HeeJoo, who was still crying. Then to my amazement, an angelic voice hummed quietly, and HeeJoo began to quiet down.

He…could sing?

HeeJoo stopped crying, and AnChilHyun’s voice began to fade away. She looked up at him with puffy red eyes, in which AnChilHyun smiled playfully at. Eventually a saddened smile took over his grin as he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

“Let’s break up.”
 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 49

”Noona it’s already over.”

“No JaeJoong. No it’s not over. It can’t be over. We’re—“

My eyes met with JaeJoong’s.

“I have to go noona.”

Walking past the girl JaeJoong headed in my direction, and the girl turned around. When I saw her face the entire world stopped rotating, and just like in the movies, everything was so very still. My eyes met with JaeJoong’s girlfriend, and for the first time, I wanted more than anything to have avoiding ever meeting KimJaeJoong.

Every bad feeling that I ever felt, every single one of those feelings rushed throughout my veins. Horrible memories that threatened to pull me apart lingered in my mind, and my mental well being started to seem abnormally unstable.

What a atrocious coincidence. A nightmare. A nightmare I thought I had rid. A nightmare that was never supposed to be dreamed up again.

Frozen in my spot, I continued to stare at JaeJoong’s girlfriend, and tried my hardest to stop the nervous shaking of my hands.

Why her…why her…why her…

I knew if I didn’t get away from her I would fall apart again. My world would stop again. There would be no difference between day and night. Everything would jumble back together, and I would be forever stuck in a living breathing hell.

JaeJoong’s mouth was moving but I couldn’t hear him clearly. I ran out past JaeJoong and then past his girlfriend. As I ran faster and faster I could hear JaeJoong calling after me. When his voice finally started to fade away I began to slow down. Walking aimlessly in the streets, I desparately tried to erase the image of the JaeJoong’s girlfriend.

*RING RING*

Before answering, I checked the caller ID, and was surprised that it read, KimJoonSoo.

“Hello?”

My voice was shaking quite a bit.

“Noona! My favorite noona!”

JoonSoo was obviously drunk.

“Yeah…JoonSoo…”

“Noona where are you?! I really miss you right now. I really want to see you right now.”

For some reason I began to cry.

“Uh huh…”

“Noona come see JoonSoo! I’m at Elysian! You remember where that is right? Of course you do noona! You’re related to alien so I’m sure you have super powers like she does too!”

Alien? NaRi?

“Uh huh…”

“Noona hurry up…I really need you right now…”

All of a sudden, JoonSoo sounded so sad. His voiced did a 180, and suddenly he sounded just as sad as I was feeling. I didn’t know this JoonSoo. The JoonSoo I know is always happy, always smiling, and always full of laughter. Something was wrong.

It was only about 2 in the afternoon. There was no way Elysian was open, but I grabbed for the towering doors anyway. Surprsingly, the door opened, and I walked into the unusually silent club. There were barely any lights on, but I could still spot a single person slumped over the table playing with the flame of a candle and a wooden chopstick.

“JoonSoo yah.”

Lifting his head from the table, JoonSoo looked up at me and smiled sadly. I had absolutely no clue what was going on, but my heart broke for the kid. He scooted into the booth and patted the seat next to him. I obediently sat down next to him.

“Noona.”

“Yeah?”

“Noona.”

“Go ahead JoonSoo.”

JoonSoo’s head rested on my shoulder.

“Noona…something is hurting you too huh. You’re hurting like I am too huh.”

…Yeah…

“You know I really like you noona. The first time I saw you when you walked into my school with NaRi…I liked you from the start, but then I think it was only a crush. You know when younger guys like older women. Something like that.”

I smiled to myself. He truly is a cute kid.

“But then JaeJoongie hyung. I think he really likes you a lot. Not just a crush, but something more. Do you know how I know?’

“How?”

“Because that’s how I feel about NaRi.”

WHAT THE HE.LL?!

“HUH?!”

“The last few days I’ve been seeing NaRi a lot, and the more I see her, the more I like her. I think she has an acquired taste. I thought she really disliked me, but then I found out that ChamSol noona hit NaRi that one time…because of me…”

ChamSol? KangChamSol?!

“ChamSol noona tried to threaten NaRi because she’s related to you, and because I liked you. It’s a big mess. I didn’t even know that until yesterday when NaRi and I went out to drink with a few friends.”

“JoonSoo yah—“

“Noona…do you think NaRi will forgive me…even though she got hurt because of me…do you think she’ll forgive me…even though I have a squeaky voice…do you think…”

JoonSoo’s voice faded to a silence, and I looked down to see a few tear drops, and both his eyes peacefully closed. I carefully pulled JoonSoo off my shoulder and rested him comfortably in the booth. Walking back outside I immediately started to dial NaRi’s number.

“Hello?”

“SuhNaRi. Do you like JoonSoo?”

Silence.

“What the he.ll! Since when!? I thought you like ChangMin?! What the—“

“Unnie it’s not even like that! I don’t know what you’re—“

“I’m at Elysian and JoonSoo is passed out drunk, because of you so hurry and—“

Incoming call.

“NaRi I have an incoming call, so hurry up and take JoonSoo home!

*click*

“Hello?”

“SuhBoHyung it’s all a complete misunderstanding. It’s not what you think it was!”

While listening to JoonSoo’s problem I completely forgot about my own. JaeJoong’s voice brought back the image of his girlfriend…and I wanted to scream out in frustration, agony, torment…but I was stronger than that.

“Hey Kim JaeJoong I want some alcohol. You want some too?”

“It’s only 2 in the—“

”Well I’m going to drink by myself—“

“Alright, alright.”

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 50

Break up?! Why?

I wanted to jump out of the bushes and scream out all kinds of questions, but more than that, I wanted to punch AnChilHyun.

HeeJoo’s crying got louder and her hands tightened their grasp along AnChilHyun’s shirt. My blood boiled at the pathetic site of HeeJoo holding onto AnChilHyun. Quietly sneaking away from the branches. I put my shoes back on, and started to head in the direction of my house.

Upon entering my house I immediately collapsed down onto the couch and stared up at the ceiling. The whole way home all I could think about was AnChilHyun and HeeJoo. There seemed to be so much more about the two that I wanted to know.

Does he really love her? If he does why is he breaking up with her? If he doesn’t why did he even date her? Why did he transfer schools?

*DING DONG*

I got up from the couch and stared at the door. There was no one home, and I sure wasn’t expecting anyone.

*DING DONG*

“COMING!”

I opened the door, and took a step back when I looked at the unexpected person standing in front of me.

“What are you doing here?”

It wasn’t on purpose, but I couldn’t help that I sounded a lot colder than normal.

“Same goes to you.”

“Me? I live here.”

Shock was written all over ChunEeSeul’s face.

GOD! I hate that she looks so da.mn cute even with that stupid facial expression!

“You live here?!”

Didn’t I just say that? She’s really pretty, but she must lack a little in the brains.

“Yes, I live here. Do you want me to repeat that again?”

“What the he.ll! Are you related to HoHyung too?!”

“Unfortunately.”

ChunEeSeul dumbfounded, and for a while the two of us just stared at each other.

“I’m supposed to meet HoHyung, is he home?”

I didn’t like the bitterness that lingered in ChunEeSeul’s sentence.

“No he’s not home.”

“Oh, thanks.”

With that ChunEeSeul turned to the elevator. As much as I disliked her, the thought of HoHyung beating the sh.it out of me for not having her wait inside, overpowered my dislike for the girl.

“Hey, if you want you can wait here. I’m sure the bas.tard will be home soon.”

I left the door wide open and walked back into the house. ChunEeSeul hesitantly stepped inside and quietly closed the door behind her. Just as I opened my bedroom door ChunEeSeul answered her phone.

It must have been on vibrate.

”Hello?………………………..You broke up with her?!…………………………Oh my God! Good job!…Yeah!…Tomorrow?…Sure, sure! Okay I’ll see you tomorrow then! Bye!”

“Was that AnChilHyun?”

Surprised that I was still standing in my doorway, ChunEeSeul at first stumbled to say something, but eventually confidently spoke up.

“What if it is?”

Happy thoughts BoHyung! Good-looking guys. Yummy food. Breaking HoHyung’s computer.

“Are you the reason AnChilHyun broke up with HeeJoo? Did you tell him to break up with her?!”

My voice got louder and louder with each word. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. The nerve.

“This has nothing to do with—“

“Actually it has everything to do with me. HeeJoo is my best friend and—“

We were both cutting each other off.

“YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HER!”

ChunEeSeul’s thunderous outburst caught me off guard. We were both shocked, and for a second an awkward silence lingered in the long distance of the living room and my bedroom door. Still surprised at her own actions, ChunEeSeul took a seat on the couch and angrily stared down at the ground.

“What do you mean by—“

“Look SuhBoHyung, I’m dating your brother right now, and I really like him, so lets try not to get on each others’ bad sides.”

I raised an eyebrow. Not because ChunEeSeul sounded so earnest, but because she openly admitted to liking my brother.

God, that’s so gross!

“I can’t be on good terms with someone that torments people and ruins others’ lives.”

ChunEeSeul laughed to herself and looked up at me with an amused expression.

“What did she tell you?”

“Excuse me?”

“Actually let me guess.”

Acting as if thinking, ChunEeSeul wrinkled her perfectly plucked eyebrows together and looked upwards.

“Let’s see. Something about how I was the reason she was outcasted in elementary school? How her personality changed drastically, and eventually how she transferred? Something like that right?”

…

“I want some alcohol. You want some too?”

It just seemed as if things would got a lot smoother if we were slightly buzzed. I didn’t wait for ChunEeSeul’s answer, and just headed straight into the kitchen. Bringing out a bottle of my dad’s soju, and two shot glasses, I placed them on the coffee table and took a seat across from ChunEeSeul.

“You should have a few shots first SuhBoHyung.”

 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 56

“Before you say anything, lets get out of the rain. We’re both going to catch pneumonia like this.”

Slowly letting me go, AnChilHyun ushered me towards his apartment complex.

We were both dripping water from head to toe, yet due to the unfinished conversation, we remaining standing beside each other staring out to the troublesome rainfall.

“I like you…”

I smiled and glanced over at AnChilHyun.

“Thanks.”

“No that’s not it. Sh.it. What I’m trying to say is that—“

“That you like me. So I’m saying thank you.”

“Fu.ck it. Come on, come inside and dry up a bit.”

“What?! What did I say wrong?”

AnChilHyun rolled his eyes at me and headed towards the elevator. I followed his wet footsteps, and curiously looked over at him.

After our “encounter” in the rain, weren’t we supposed to feel a bit awkward, or at least embarrassed? Isn’t that how it was in movies and stories?

“I can’t walk into your house this late!”

“Then why are you standing in the elevator?”

“Because I—“

The elevator doors closed, and we before I could exit, we were headed up.

“Try not to talk to my mom. She’s going to want to talk forever if you keep answering her questions.”

“But I like your—“

“Will you just listen for once?”

“I always listen!”

“Then buy me a box of banana milk. They come in a packs of 12, 24, and 32.”

Five minutes ago my ex best friend’s boyfriend was holding me in the rain, just like in the typical romantic movies. Now that the mood has changed, he is turning back into banana milk savior, and demanding memorized amounts of banana milk. Only in my life do things like this happen.

I tried to walk into the quite house as silently as possible, but the squeaking of my socks against the wooden floor echoed through the large apartment. Of course AnChilHyun did not help.

“UMMA!”

A door swung open, and Mrs. An in a flowery apron, scurried out at her son’s loud call. Embarassed, and slightly scared, I took a step back and hid behind AnChilHyun’s back. As soon as Mrs. An set on eyes on her, she shrieked a high pitched scream, and for a few seconds ran around in little circles.

“OH MY LORD! Look at you! You’re soaking wet Hyunnie! Oh my! Oh my!”

“Umma, we need some towels.”

“We?”

Oh! Mr. An too!? Sh.it. I’m so dead.

AnChilHyun roughly pushed me forward, and skid to a stop inches away from Mrs. An. Meekly, I bowed down deeply at both Mr. and Mrs. An.

“I’m really sorry for coming by so late but—“

“You’re dripping wet BoHyung! Oh my! Let’s see. Well—“

“ChilHyun ah, why don’t you get BoHyung some towels.”

Not only did ChilHyun listen to his mom, he listened to his dad too! Wow…he listens to both parents.

Holding two towels, AnChilHyun walked out of the bathroom, and Mrs. An immediately grabbed one and started to dry me off.

“Oh it’s okay Mrs. An I’ll—“

Just as AnChilHyun was about to place the other towel on his wet hair, Mrs. An pulled it out of his hands and placed it on my head.

“ChilHyun do you want one of my towe—“

“Oh don’t worry about him BoHyung. He doesn’t need it. He’s a boy. Boys are like plastic. No matter how many times you drop it, it doesn’t break, but girls are like glass. You drop it once and it shatters.”

As AnChilHyun headed into his room I could hear him mumbling something under his breath.

“I don’t shatter, but I melt.”

Ignoring his comment, Mr. An took a seat on the couch, and Mrs. An examined me worriedly while pulling me into a guest room located near the kitchen. I stood awkwardly in the center of the room while Mrs. An dug through the closet.

“I don’t think any of my clothes will fit, seeing that you are almost a head taller than me. Hold on.”

Like a small little mouse, Mrs. An scattered out of the room, and within seconds I could hear a perturbed shout.

“UMMA, will you knock!”

After Mrs. An had handed me a pair of AnChilHyun’s warm up pants and a overly large sweater, I changed and walked back into the living room. Settled around the coffee tabled having tea and cookies, the An family looked a little too picture perfect.

So this is what normal families look like…wow!

I sat down next to AnChilHyun, and both Mr. and Mrs. An stared at me with a curious grin that obviously assumed something about their son and me.

“I didn’t properly introduce myself. I’m ChilHyun’s father.”

As I got up from my seat to bow to Mr. An, AnChilHyun pulled me back down, and I looked at him bewildered.

”It’s nice to meet your Mr. An. My name is SuhBoHyung.”

“Isn’t she cute honey?”

Thanks Mrs. An. You’re probably the only person in the world that thinks so highly of me.

“So BoHyung how do you know our son?”

I was about to answer Mr. An’s question, but of course, AnChilHyun felt he could answer it better than me.

“She’s my girlfriend.”
 

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 57

After a good hour passed by, I stood up from the living room couch, and tip toed into the kitchen where Mrs. Park was decorating a lavish looking cake.

“Excuse me Mrs. Park.”

Mrs. Park turned around with a fairly large bag of frosting in her hands. She was such a pleasant little lady.

“It seems like YooChun and JaeJoong—“

“Oh actually I completely forgot that they told me they had to stay after school a bit late today.”

I ran out of the house while Mrs. Park threw the frosting into the sink and grabbed a yogurt and a muffin. It seemed like every single time I went to tutor YooChun and JaeJoong, Mrs. Park would stalk with me food. She was like a cook fattening up their pig.

Impatiently, I pressed the elevator button repeatedly, and just as I got in, Mrs. Park jammed her tiny foot in the way of the doors and politely held out the muffin and yogurt. This match I lost, so I thanked Mrs. Park, and gratefully accepted the food. So prepared, and so motherly, Mrs. Park pulled out a plastic spoon from her apron pocket and placed it in my hands.

“Thanks Mrs. Park.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow BoHyung!”

It was already almost 4:30, and there was no sign of YooChun or JaeJoong. I called both of them at least three times each, yet all I got was a voicemail. Wondering how I was going to torture them once I did find out where they were, I headed back home, angry that I wasted a good hour waiting for two boys, that couldn’t even study math for more than ten minutes without falling into a tangent about girls or pikachus.

In the back of my mind I was secretly thankful that I didn’t have to face JaeJoong. The incident from a few nights back haunted me in my sleep, and the scenes of me throwing up on JaeJoong overwhelmed my mind any time I had a chance to think about it. Shaking my head vigorously I chased away the bad thoughts, and continued to walk down the street.

Of course, it was my luck that my eyes caught a group of JoongAng kids thuggishly gathered around the entrance of an alleyway. The first, and only thing, I noticed was that in that despicable group, was no other than my lovely and innocent cousin, SuhNaRi.

NaRi wasn’t just standing there, but jumping up all over the place, and I could see her arms flailing all over the place, not to mention her mouth obviously chattering away at 100 miles per hours. With the worst scenario in mind, I rushed over.

They’re picking on NaRi! Oh my God!

“NaRi—“

And JoonSoo…and JaeJoong…and ChangMin…and YooChun…and something Ho.

“Unnie?”

My eyes went from one kid to the other until I was done examining each and every one of them. All the boys were covered in dirt and blood. I shrieked at their appearances, and figured that they must have been in some kind of brawl.

Out of all five boys something Ho and JaeJoong looked the worse, and I don’t know if its because I tutor him, but my heart hurt while I looked at JaeJoong’s bloodied lips and scarred face.

“What in the world is going on? Oh my God. Shouldn’t you guys go to the hospital?! Lets call the police! How about we—“

“Unnie they’re fine. We won the fight! YunHo sunbae is our school’s best fighter! Did you know that unnie? I bet you didn’t! Did you know that these guys from this other school tried to pick up on YuRa unnie, and almost kidnapped her, then YunHo sunbae found out and went to go kill them, and then JaeJoong pri.ck and YooChun oppa found out and went to go help YunHo sunbae, and then JoonSoo and ChangMin found out and went to help them, and—“

NaRi never breathes when she’s trying to explain something she’s excited about.

“What about YuRa? What fight? Did you guys fight?”

Of course they fought! Look at them you idiot!

“Unnie I have to take JoonSoo home because I think the stupid as.ses hit his big—“

JoonSoo finished NaRi’s sentence.

“I don’t have a big head.”

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

None of my questions were answered, but the group separated, and I stood staring mindlessly at the something Ho kid, whose name is YunHo, JaeJoong, and YooChun. It was probably due to my period, but I was starting to get really emotional.

“Oh my God why are you crying again! Why do you cry so easily!”

JaeJoong was the first to notice.

”Noona are you crying?! Are you crying because we got hurt?! Don’t cry! Don’t we look awesome?! We’re like those cool guys that win a fight and smoke a cigarette while looking tough and manly.”

YooChun’s explanation made me cry even harder.

“Is she always this sensitive?”

In between my cries I managed to keep my pride in tact, at least some what.

“Yu…Yu…YuRa is more…is more sen...sensitive!”

“Noona, are you crying because JaeJoong and I missed our tutoring session?”

“Wh…why…why are you…why are you guys…fi…fight…fighting! You…you’ll get…you’ll get hurt and…and…”

To see these three young boys so bloodied and bruised hurt me a lot more than I thought it would. It was a kind of shock I thought I could handle. I guess no matter how much you prepare yourself, when someone you care about gets hurts, it hurts you more just to look at them. My poor last places duo.

“JaeJoong, I think you’re girlfriend is crying because of you.”

Girlfriend?

“I’m…I’m…I’m not his girl…girlfriend! He’s…he’s going out…with Hee…Joo.”

YooChun turned to JaeJoong with a perplexed look.

“I thought you broke up with HeeJoo noona.”

“We’re over. I decided to go out with BoHyung.”

Wiping my tears with the side of my sleeve I sniffled a few times while the three ignored me and continued to talk about their love lives.

“BoHyung’s parents want me to marry her.”

“That’s a joke!”

At my random outburst, JaeJoong stepped forward and wiped away a few remaining tears from my face.

“It’s not a joke SuhBoHyung. At least not to me.”

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 58

The entire way home, an unfamiliar awkward silence settled between AnChilHyun, and me. At least five times, I opened my mouth to say something, yet I always ended up closing my mouth and looking out the window.

In plus, how could I bi.tch him out in front of his driver?

So, I patiently waited until we neared my apartments.

“Oh you could just drop me off here.”

I pointed towards the corner of the dead end entrance to our apartments. The car came to a stop, and I quickly bowed before getting out of the car. Thinking that AnChilHyun would get out and bid me farewell, I stood along the curb, but the sound of the door closing caught me by surprise. I swung open the expensive car door, and AnChilHyun peered up at me with round eyes.

“What?”

Da.mn it! Why is he so different all the time! Rude little pri.ck!

“Aren’t you going to say goodnight?”

Almost unwillingly, AnChilHyun got out of the car and closed the door behind him.

“Goodnight. Can I leave now?”

“Do you think I really wanted to hear those words from you?”

“Then what?”

“Why did you introduce me to your dad as your girlfriend?”

“Because you are?”

In what world?! The AnChilHyun world of the mentally unstable?!

“You’re going out with HeeJoo.”

Saying that aloud just did not give me that warm fuzzy feeling I used to feel.

“We’re over.”

“How can you just forget your girlfriend so easily? You just broke up with her, and how can you joke around about going out with some other—“

AnChilHyun stopped me.

“It’s not a joke SuhBoHyung.”

“Then?”

…Long and awkward silences…suck!

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Wait—“

The door shut, and even though I know AnChilHyun heard me, he ignored my plea and left.

He can’t possibly really like me. No way. There’s just no way. There must be more to this.

My body shuffled towards my house, but my mind zoomed away with AnChilHyun’s car. As the entrance of my apartment building came into site, the soft, but sharp bickering of two voices tingled my ears. I was tempted to stop and listen to the exciting argument, but decided I should probably get home before my parents started to worry.

Just as I took a step into the apartment building, someone called out a name too easily picked up by my ears.

“BaekHeeJoo!”

I shouldn’t listen…that’s bad. Eaves’s dropping is bad…bad…bad…I’ll just take a walk…

Towards where the voices are coming from.

“—It’s all over HeeJoo.”

It’s ChunEeSeul. Has she been here all day? With HoHyung and my parents? Poor thing.

”I don’t know what you’re talking about ChunEeSeul.”

If HeeJoo’s changed so much, if she really is as bad as ChunEeSeul made her out to be, then why does she still sound so weak? Why does she still just stand there when being yelled out? Why is she still the same…

“Do you think that acts going to work on me BaekHeeJoo?! I know the real BaekHeeJoo better than anyone, so spare me the bullsh.it.”

“EeSeul ah, I don’t know why you’re trying to do this to me—“

*SLAP*

I watched in shock as ChunEeSeul shook from head to toe while HeeJoo painfully held onto her face. For a split second, probably out of habit, I wanted to run over to HeeJoo’s side, but the minute I saw HeeJoo’s facial expression, I was glad I didn’t.

Eyes of stone, and a look that sent chills down my back, HeeJoo sharply turned to ChunEeSeul, and grinded her teeth while soothing her burning cheek. Then HeeJoo did the last thing I would ever expect.

*SLAP*

ChunEeSeul didn’t seem as shocked as I did when HeeJoo had retaliated with a slap that could be heard a mile away. Instead, ChunEeSeul actually looked at HeeJoo with a mysteriously pleased glance.

“There’s the BaekHeeJoo I know.”

“Don’t get in my way EeSeul. I don’t have time for your insignificant little plots against me.”

“It’s over HeeJoo! ChilHyun broke up with you, and you and I both know why.”

“Shut up!”

“Can’t handle it? Does it bother you that your precious Hyunnie likes your so called best friend?”

“SHUT UP!”

My eyes would not believe it. I thought once was enough shock for the rest of the month, but HeeJoo raised her unstable hand in the air for the second time, which ChunEeSeul showed no reaction towards. I didn’t want to get involved, but my conscious told me that I owed it to ChunEeSeul.

“BaekHeeJoo, stop it.”

I watched in amazement as HeeJoo’s facial expression changed faster than the speed of light. Her bottom lip trembled while she stared at me silently.

”BoHyung ah!”

It was unbelievable. This girl was a human chameleon. So many different shades, attitudes, and personalities.

“BaekHeeJoo, don’t dirty my name like that. Come on ChunEeSeul, I’m sure HoHyung will be ecstatic to see you.”

ChunEeSeul was enjoying all this, and she started to walk off while lifting her hand to wave farewell. In the middle of the night ChunEeSeul’s sharp voice trailed through the air.

“I’ve been there all day. See you around BoHyung.”

Both of us left HeeJoo shocked, and at a lost for words. Just as I turned my back to walk into my apartment, HeeJoo’s icy words caught my ears, and I froze in my tracks for a few seconds. Was it a threat?

”It’s not going to end like this SuhBoHyung.”

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 59

“Are you done crying?”

Ashamed with myself, I stared deep into the orange juice, and kept my head as low as possible. Although I couldn’t see JaeJoong’s face, I could feel his eyes resting on the top of my head. Didn’t he ever blink?

Shifting in my seat, I finally glanced upwards and saw JaeJoong looking at me with his head tilted to the side. His dark brows wrinkled inward, and he examined something on my face. Naturally, my hand went up to my face, and I nervously felt around expecting to find something miserable stuck to my skin.

“I concluded you look real ugly when you cry.”

What does one say to that?

“And you look real ugly all the time.”

That’s what I wanted to say, but what came out of my mouth was a mere…

“Okay.”

“Lets go.”

Rising from his seat, JaeJoong placed a crisp 20,000 Won onto the table and gently picked up my hand and helped me up from the couch. There was an unfamiliar overbearing politeness about him, which I was too unaccustomed to reject. So for a good ten minutes we walked the hectic night streets of Seoul hand in hand, and I had to admit, it didn’t feel bad.

We got onto a crowded bus, and JaeJoong led me towards two local junior high boys sitting in two seats. Towering over them JaeJoong patted the kid closest to the aisle. His slanted eyes looked up at JaeJoong’s face, and immediately froze over. With a light side motion of his head, the kid immediately got up and pulled the other kid along with him.

“That’s KimJaeJoong! I’ve never seen him fight, not many people have, but he was like second jjang!”

“If you haven’t seen him fight then how do you know he was second jjang.”

“Doode, he doesn’t fight because he might ruin his skin or face, but trust me, he was the second jjang!”

I looked disapproving towards JaeJoong who avoided my eyes, and instead fiddled with his cell phone. We rode in silence, and I fell into a light sleep, somehow leaning against JaeJoong’s shoulder, when an annoying buzz filled my ears.


“She has to be at least 25…”

Who?

“I know it’s a fad to date younger guys, but look he’s only a high school student.”

…Who?

“Look how beat up he is. She must be forcing him to date her.”

“Probably. I’ve seen her around school, and I see her with this really pretty girl. I bet you she hel.la mean to that girl too, because she’s prettier than her.”

…are they talking about me?

Although I wanted to pop open my eyes and strangle the two girls who were obviously talking about me, someone else came to my rescue, and I was able to continue to pretend to be sleeping.

“The kid is such a waste. He’s so good look—“

“Actually I’m the one that’s forcing her to date me. So can you ugly who.res shut the fu.ck up so I can ride on the bus peacefully?”

That was a little harsh JaeJoong, but that’s okay…you’re so cool!

The rest of the bus ride to wherever we were going, was peaceful and relaxaing, and soon after JaeJoong’s comment I feel right back to sleep. What seemed like a 5 minutes nap turned out to be a thirty minute nap. Still in a state of half sleep and half daze, I followed JaeJoong pulling me towards some unknown place.

A jewelry store?

“I don’t like half as.sing anything. So I’m going to do this the right way.”

“Then how come you’re last place?”

That probably wasn’t the right question, but I really wanted to know!

“Am I middle place? If you half as.s then you’re middle place. If you do it the right way then you’re either in top or on the very bottom. I chose to try my hardest at being at the very bottom.”

It was my fault that I asked.

“Before I go any more insane, why are we here?”

“I’m buying couple rings.”

“Oh really? Who are you going to give it to?”

“You.”

“Oh, that’s nice—wait me? Come on JaeJoong you and me we’re not even—“

JaeJoong pulled me into the jewelry store, and as I stood there disapproving and objecting, JaeJoong ignored me, along with the store owner, and began to pick out rings. After a good thirty minutes of looking at rings, JaeJoong finally found something he liked and after paying with a credit card, whose credit card I have no clue, we were standing outside of the jewelry shop, and JaeJoong held out a cute silver box.

“I’m going to be the one that erases that guy that keeps holding you back from ever getting in a relationship. I don’t care if you don’t like me as much as I like you, and I don’t care that when you look at me you think of someone else. No matter how long it takes I’m going to be here until it’s KimJaeJoong that fills your head, and not some guy from your past. I’m going to be here forever so you might as well start living your life in the present, instead of the past.”

I didn’t know he had the ability to be so wise. I was impressed, and even more impressed when he pulled out a tiny dimond encrusted silver band. Gently he took my hand in his and slid the ring onto my ring finger and proudly looked down at my hands.

“It’s too bad your hand is so ugly. Poor ring.”

With that last loving comment, JaeJoong once again began to lead me somewhere. Stopping before a quaint little Morning Glory, he pulled me into those ever popular full body sticker booth machines.

Sticking a sing 5,000 Won, JaeJoong gave a warning glance.

“I’m only opting for one shot so don’t mess it up.”

But I hated taking…

Within seconds JaeJoong had his hand wrapped around my waist and suddenly I could feel the beating of my heart mixing in with his. Before there was time to react, his lips were against mine, and the only thing going through my mind was the horrid reminder that this was all on paper.

*CLICK*

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 60

Over the weekend, JoongAng High changed from a familiar school to a foreign place I didn’t belong. The building was the same, the students were the same, and every possible physical aspect of JoongAng was exactly the way I had left it last Friday. Yet, although visually I recognized everything, mentally everything was a clean slate. It was as if I was a cat entering a dog pound. Nearing the school building, an anxious feeling cluttered my mind. Why? I wish I knew.

As I dragged my feet up the stairs one by one, a weird notion that the girls passing by were whispering about me. Paranoid to no extent, I looked up to see two first years pointing at me. Not purposely, but by habit and instinct, I hissed in their direction and watched as they scattered away. I wasn’t a local gangbanger, but I definitely was not someone to anger.

By the time I had reached my classroom there was only two minutes before the bell would ring. Just as my hand reached for the door, it automatically swung open, and AnChilHyun walked out with his backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Lets go.”

As my body was being pulled towards the stairway, my head turned in the direction of the furthering classroom. I pulled my arm away from AnChilHyun’s grasp and held onto the railing of the stairway just in case.

“What the he.ll! Class is going to start in a few seconds and if I’m late you better take full responsibility.”

It was no surprise that AnChilHyun ignored me and continued to drag me down the stairs. Once we were outside of the gates of JoongAng, AnChilHyun finally dropped my arm, and started to head towards the main street. It was too late to turn back, so I ran after my kidnapper.

“ANCHILHYUN! STOP!”

He stopped and stood waiting for me. With my arms resting on my hips I glared up at his emotionless face.

“What the fu.ck was that all about huh?! What the he.ll is wrong with you! Do you know how much sh.it we’re going to get in tomorrow?! Are you going to get beat by Mr. Jung for me?!”

Lightly smiling AnChilHyun patted me on the head, and entered the DongDong restaurant.

“Can we get one kimbap and a ddukbokgee please?”

I took a seat across from AnChilHyun.

”Why do you completely igno—“

“SuhBoHyung.”

His voice was filled with such authority for a moment, and I lost my focus.

“Yes sir?”

What the he.ll!

Laughing, AnChilHyun placed a set of chopsticks before me, then grabbed a pair for himself.

“You know, you’re a bit weird sometimes, but I’m always laughing when you’re around.”

“Whatever. I’ve never seen you laugh. You’re always so da.mn apathetic.”

AnChilHyun remained quiet, and I wondered if I had said something hurtful, not that it mattered!

“It’s not that…well I laugh inside.”

“So why did you drag me out—“

His eyes rolled upwards, and looked straight at me. I hated making eye contact with him. It was always so intense. I felt like I had to play the staring game with him when he looked at me. Avoiding his pitch black eyes, I picked up the pair of metal chopsticks and let them rest in between my pointer and middle finger.

“Just today. Lets just have fun and forget about school. Just for one day.”

I’m nosy.

“Did something happen at school? You didn’t get expelled or anything did you?”

“What rank am I in the class?”

Why ask the obvious.

“First. Do you have to shove it in my face that—“

“Do you really think someone like me would get expelled?”

He just makes people hate him.

”Why are you so full of your—“

“It’s nothing. I just wanted to ditch today and you’re the only person I know besides HeeJoo.”

HeeJoo…he had to bring up her name.

“Why didn’t you just go with one of those first years that foll—“

“Hey you still owe me a four banana—“

“Do you want to die?! Stop interrupting—“

A shocked elder lady stared at me as she placed our food on our table with shaky hands. I meekly looked up at her and tried to thank her, but the lady was already rushing into the back kitchen. When I looked up to bit.ch out AnChilHyun, he was already too busy eating food, and almost purposely trying to avoid me.

We ate in silence, and exited in silence too. For awhile I just followed behind AnChilHyun until he stopped before a little shop that looked like it came straight out of some cute Korean stationary. I read the neon rainbow colored sign.

Pose Quick – Sticky Picture Specialty Store

“Are you going to take sticky pictures?”

Dragged once again.

“No we’re going to.”

I took a step back, but was immediately pulled back into a bright photobooth with way too much pink.

“I don’t do sticky pictures! Only self absorbed girls with nothing better to waste their money on take sticky pictures! That or ga.y guys!”

While AnChilHyun inserted three singles into the machine, he looked up and laughed.

“You must be the only person in Korea that’s not fond of sticky pictures.”

Within seconds AnChilHyun was pressing random buttons that continued to blink a bright shade of green. He then took a step back, and I looked at him confusedly.

“So what are we supposed to—“

*CLICK*

“What the hel—“

AnChilHyun placed his large palm on top of my head.

*CLICK*

“How are you supposed to know when this thing—“

*CLICK*

“Just shut up and smile.”

I smiled.

*CLICK*

“Don’t smile so awkwardly.”

*CLICK*

“I’m trying not to!”

*CLICK*

*muah*

*CLICK*

Tainted Memories of Issey Miyake // 61

It was nearly eight o’clock and JaeJoong and I were roaming the busy city streets wasting time stuffing our faces with food from the street vendors that somehow magically had a fresh set of buttered squid, or just baked sweet potato.

We stood eating odeng on a stick in a tiny snack kiosk. JaeJoong pulled out the piece of blackmail paper and shoved it into the face of the little elderly lady behind the stand. Rushing towards the back of the stand JaeJoong proudly waved the picture before the confused lady.

“Ahjuhma isn’t this a cool picture?”

Oh my God the kid is completely brainless!

Expecting the lady to scorn him, I covered my face and squatted down onto the ground so I wouldn’t have to face the lady. Then to my surprise I heard an approving laughter.

“Very cool!”

“Wow you’re so up to date ahjuhma! Most ladies would have probably yelled at me!”

“Do you know how many couples eat here? They’re always cuddling and fondling each other. It’s a new age now.”

“You’re the best ahjuhma!”

JaeJoong came around the corner and munched on the odeng while he squatted next to me.

“What you doing here?”

“Hiding.”

”Why?”

“What do you mean—“

”Give me your phone.”

I got up from the protection of the ground and quickly bowed to the elder lady, before rushing away from the kiosk stand. JaeJoong came running over and stopped me by my elbow. He held out his hand demandingly.

“No! You’re just going to lock my phone again or even worse you might—“

“Just give me you’re stupid phone!”

“No!”

“I’m going to blow up this picture and post it all over—“

I placed my phone in JaeJoong’s hand. He smiled happily, and started to peel the picture from the protective backing. Ever so gently he rubbed the sticky picture on the faceplate of my cell phone battery. He held it up proudly and waved the cell phone in front of my face.

“Pretty huh.”

I snatched my cell from him and shoved it into my bag. Since he didn’t have my phone to wave, JaeJoong pulled out his, and instead started to wave his, which had a bold sticky picture of a guy kissing a girl…a girl that was me.

“Stop it!”

“It looks like a magazine ad or something.”

“Stop!”

“Hey isn’t that…”

Standing in front of an arcade stood a bandaged JunSoo and YooChun. Both were accompanied by a girl. SuhNaRi and KangChamSol. Not to mention a short girl that stood in between the two couples, ShiYun.

“Lets go say hi.”

JaeJoong pulled me back abruptly.

“I don’t want to. Then we have to actually talk to them.”

“Come on!”

“No I don’t—“

Then suddenly JunSoo and YooChun both took menacing steps forward, and there was an eerie stare the two shared. JaeJoong quickly started to head toward the group, and I was right behind him. Something was wrong.

“JaeJoong oppa! It’s great that you’re here oppa! You need to—“

JaeJoong quickly flicked ShiHyun on her forehead while he grabbed the hands of both JunSoo and YooChun, and began to pull them away. We all watched as JaeJoong, I have to admit, very slickly dragged the boys off leaving the girls to watch as they disappeared into some alley.

I stood cluelessly staring at a dripping wet NaRi and an angered KangChamSol. Not only were the guys in bad moods, but there was also an air of uneasiness amongst the left behind females too.

“What’s going on?”

KangChamSol laughed deceitfully and walked into the arcade while NaRi huffed to herself, and kicked an empty soda can.

“What happened ShiHyun.”

“Oh my God whale unnie! That stupid bit.ch over there almost made JunSoo oppa and YooChun oppa fight! You know how that lump of coal used to date JunSoo oppa right?! I can’t believe my JunSoo oppa went out of with that pancake! Anyway that stupid trash bag ‘accidentally’ spilled her soda on NaRi unnie! Then JunSoo oppa yelled at the stupid sl.ut and then YooChun oppa got mad and then JaeJoong oppa came to the rescue!”

“NaRi yah are you okay?!”

“She’s such a stupid bi.tch unnie! What the he.ll! She’s trying to ruin JunSoo and YooChun oppa’s friendship! She doesn’t even like YooChun oppa! I know it! She’s just using him! She thinks she can come between JunSoo and me and—“

NaRi broke into tears. Not just any tears, but frustrated tears. I pulled NaRi into my arms and let the poor girl cry. She must have been quite frustrated to break into a sob in public. I patted her back comfortingly.

“I hate her unnie, I hate her.”

As I held onto NaRi, I couldn’t help but to remember what it felt like to hate someone so much it made you break out into sobs. I remembered how much it hurt just to be looking at that hateful person. I sighed and wished I could tell her that it would be okay…that it would all end up okay…


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