| I was still young. I had my whole life ahead of me. (Insert cliche here!) When my high school best friend invited me to visit her during a summer break, I agreed. She and her husband lived at Millington Naval Air Base, where he was stationed. She said she wanted me to meet some of the military guys there. I made no firm promises. But I met this guy... He had dark hair and blue eyes, and a crooked grin. He was younger than I, but I seemed to be the only one who felt any concern (or even noticed, in most cases) ... except my mom. (And his mother, of course.) My mother subtly confided in him her fear that I might get hurt. She'd seen me through all the single mom stuff, but now I seemed like a vulnerable girl again. Nah! Couldn't happen! Even meeting part 4 guy didn't rattle him, because he was so confident he was the one. He knew I was the one for him three days after we met. Mind you, that made me a little nervous at first. But I came around to believing. We were good for each other. I deserved to be happy. It wasn't till after my graduation from college a year later, when we were married and I was separated from my children by more than 700 miles, that I started to question things. I was expected to share my thoughts and feelings with him, but he reserved his. I was not quite sure what was going on in his head and his heart. And that was when we were together. He spent most of our first year on a ship in the middle east. I had turned down a job in Charlotte, NC, teaching school (and making almost twice his salary) because he wanted me to live on base. When my kids came for the school year, I was subbing occasionally and working at the McDonalds on base, feeling homesick and adrift, basically doing the single mom thing again, except that I wasn't having any fun doing it. Communication was bad between my husband and me at that point, mainly because I became as uncommunicative as he was. I rarely wrote to him. Once, when I did, the letter and accompanying Valentine's package were misdirected for several days. I did not want anyone to tell me what to think, feel, say, or do. Even when the kids' father decided to sue me for custody of our children. Well, a little compassion would have been nice, at that point. But although hubby #2 was mildly sympathetic, he had decided it wasn't his problem. His mother even agreed with him that the best thing for him to do was to divorce me. For days, I refused to admit it might be over. Until I returned home and realized I was really home. Family counselling with hubby #1 helped resolve the custody problems out of court. Problems with my second marriage were settled when the court signed the papers that gave me back my maiden name. * |
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