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Having been around church going folk all my life, I would have to agree that some of the married people are indeed "scary, imbalanced and dysfunctional. couple maker Advice for second marriages. " I might disagree with her about the percentages, but I also will admit that I am so anxious to believe good things about the folks I assemble with on a regular basis that I might be guilty of looking past their shortcomings. If you read the previous paragraph carefully, you will notice that I did not use the word "Christian. " I spoke of "church going folk" and "the folks I assemble with. couple maker Save marriage. " The people I described may be Christians, but it is also possible that they are not. Only God knows for sure. A friend of mine used to say, "Sitting in a church house doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a hen house makes you a chicken. couple maker Couple maker. " It's possible that those "scary married people" aren't Christians at all. The Bible does have some things to say about the fruit of the Spirit. "The fruit if the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control" (Galatians 5:22-23). You would expect to find some degree of those qualities in a husband and wife if they are genuine Christians. Occasionally, I hear someone say, "I know a certain married couple. Both of them are deeply devoted to God, but they can't stand each other. " I'm afraid I don't buy that rationale. According to 1 John 4:20-21, "If anyone says 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. " John was talking about church relationships but surely the principle applies to husbands and wives. "If anyone says 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. " I don't know any of those people about whom the questioner writes, but I recognize the possibility that some may genuinely qualify as Christians who haven't grown in grace and knowledge the way they should have. Christians differ from each other in terms of maturity and spiritual development. Patience needs to be expressed toward those who are still on the upward climb.
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