Recently, a friend of mine, told me about a book that she just finished reading. It is called Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb. (I highly recommend you to read this book!) She really wanted me to read it, as she had an amazing experience while reading this book. She encountered with God! At that time, I was struggling with some things, things that I knew I need to deal with in order to start a renewal within myself., but I didn�t want to give up to God. So I borrowed the book, and read it. The message I got from the book helped me take the step to deal with the things that I have been struggling with and holding on to most of my life. It also help me understand why God seems to be silent sometimes when I need Him most, and why He is seemingly not blessing me by answering my prayers.
In Shattered Dreams, Larry Crabb talks about all the things that I was struggling with, and what most people struggle with. That is, why God sometimes allow dreams to shatter, and why bad things happen to good people. I learned that sometimes God allow our dreams to shatter because they are �lesser dreams� or �lesser desires�. He wants us to dream a bigger dream and bless us with a better blessing. This bigger dream is to live a life of seeking only to draw near to Him, and the best blessing of being near Him and experiencing Him. Our view of blessings may be a thriving ministry, getting into a good university, getting good grades etc� but these are not the blessings that God wants us to desire. Our ultimate purpose is not to feel good about what we are doing. Our ultimate purpose in life is to seek God and draw closer to Him. Our blessing would be when we can be with Him and worship Him in heaven!
Sometimes your dreams get shattered � e.g. the ministry you have a passion for is not thriving; you are set on doing great things for God, but doors get closed; the list goes on and on. You may think, these are not small dreams, these are big dreams for God, how come God doesn�t bless these dreams? You know what, I am learning now that sometimes God keep silent or let your dreams shatter so that you can realize that He is always in control. Perhaps the passion for the ministry or your passion for serving has overtaken your passion for God. He wants you to feel desperation and realize that you need Him above all things. He wants you to remember your first love and passion for Him.
His blessings for you are not what you think they are. His blessings are far greater than you can ever dream of. � the opportunity to spend eternity with Him. His blessings are not having a nice and pleasant life on this earth. This may means that your life on earth now may not always be rosy. You will be going through pain, trials, heartaches, shattered dreams. The desires of your heart may never be fulfilled this life. But guess what, even though you feel that God is not doing anything, He is actually doing His most important work in you during your darkest times. He is molding you and breaking your heart so that you will turn to Him, the best blessing you can ever desire. When you�ve grieved, and gone through your darkest times, however long it may take, you will come out stronger because you realize that nothing else is more important than God. Your worship will be pleasing to God because you will be worshipping Him with a humble and broken heart.
I know it�s not easy. The step I took to deal with my struggles was very painful, and is causing a great heartache within me. I am, however, striving to draw near to God through my pain. I am also scared because I know that I am weak, and will lapse and go back to desiring the lesser dreams of getting a good job, getting married, having children, and living a nice life. Therefore, I am praying every day that God will keep shattering these dreams, so that I will desire to seek only Him. I am praying that He will break my heart continually, so that I will not put anything person or ministry above Him. This is my prayer for all of you too, that your lesser dreams be shattered, so that you will start dreaming the better and bigger dream � drawing near to God!
Revival starts when each individual heart is broken for God, and each lesser dream is shattered for God!
