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How to install love...
How To Install Love
Little girl | Keepers | Happiness | Daddy's Pink Rose | Hwy 109 | The Flag | The world is mine | A blessing | My wish for you | How to plant a garden | How to install love | There is
Customer Service
(CS) Rep. :
"Yes, Ma'am, how may I help you today?"
Customer:
"Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install
LOVE. Can you guide me through the process?"
CS Rep. :
"Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?"
Customer:
"Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to
install now. What do I do first?"
CS Rep. :
"The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located
your HEART ma'am?"
Customer:
"Yes I have, but there are several other programs running
right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?"
CS Rep. :
"What programs are running ma'am?"
Customer:
"Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW ESTEEM.EXE,
GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now."
CS Rep. :
"No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from
your current operating system. It may remain in your
permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other
programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE
with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE.
However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being
properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?"
Customer:
"I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?"
CS Rep. :
"My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until
GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased."
Customer:
"Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?"
CS Rep. :
"Yes. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that
message?"
Customer:
"Yes I do. Is it completely installed?"
CS Rep. :
"Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get
the upgrades."
Customer:
"Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?"
CS Rep. :
"What does the message say?"
Customer:
"It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.
What does that mean?"
CS Rep. :
"Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that
the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has
not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those
complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it
means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can
"LOVE" others."
Customer:
"So what should I do?"
CS Rep. :
"Can you pull down the directory called"SELFACCEPTANCE"?"
Customer:
"Yes, I have it."
CS Rep. :
" Excellent. You're getting good at this."
Customer:
"Thank you."
CS Rep. :
"You're welcome. Click on the following files and then
copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC,
REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin
patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty
your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
and permanently gone erased."
Customer:
"Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows
that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves
all over my HEART. Is this normal?"
CS Rep. :
"Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually
everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is
installed and running. You should be able to handle it
from here. One more thing before I go."
Customer:
"Yes?"
CS Rep. :
"LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will share it with
other people and then return some similarly sacred modules
back to you."
Customer:
"I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your
name?"
CS Rep. :
" You may call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as
The Great Physician, but most call me God. Many people feel
all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy,
but the Manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily
maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep
in touch . . . "
(Author is known)
