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This is an area that I have set aside to remember Michelle and talk about the fun and struggles that we have had in life. So in a way it's kinda a summary of our lives together. I think it will help me to process the feelings that I have. There may even be an outside chance that Michelle will see this and say, "What in the world am I giving up to follow temporary feelings." I hope in some way this page will have an impact on peoples lives that know us or not. |
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Michelle and I met over the internet. One day I got an e-mail from a pretty young woman who found my picture and profile from hotmail. She sent me a note and we started comumicating over the internet. Writting led to talking over the phone, which led to a visit, which lead to her comming to California and then I asked Michelle to be my wife at Disneyland. She started to cry and she said yes. It made me a happy man to hear those |
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words come from her mouth. That was a day that made an incredable impact on my life. We went on vacations, visited family, went through struggles together, and life was on the up and up. I saw really great changes in Michelle's life that made me proud to call her my wife. Michelle sat down with me in late July, 2006 and told me that she did not want to be my wife any more. There are so many |
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reasons why things did not work out but I won't list them all here as I did bofore because Michelle asked me not to post this information on the site. If you would like to contact her please e-mail me and we can work something out. I loved every minute of being married to Michelle. Thoughts of her will linger in my head for a |
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long time to come. Even when times were tough and she was swearing me out, I knew she loved me because she told me so. Her telling me that she loved me made me feel like I was on top of the world. God had a hand in selecting Michelle for my life for a reason. God also gives us the ability to make decissons for ourselves which sometimes get in the way of his plan for our lives. I wish that Michelle would have given his plan a chace for our lives. |
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My head still spins with so many questions about why our relationship had to end so quickly. Was Michelle having another relationship? Did Michelle just use me to get on her feet and then move on? Did she use me just to get to California? I'm giving Michelle the benifit of the dought. I don't think she did those things. I think that Michelle loved me and then fell out of love with me. She was really good at keeping it a secret from me. Why did she keep it from me? Why didn't she come to me when she was in need? Why did she just run like an animal being chased? Why did Michelle's life have to be so hard growing up? Was the way that Michelle raised a reason for the way she treated me? I have nothing but love for Michelle but the more I try to love her the more she pushes away and gets angry with me. I wish I had a fastforward button for my life so I can skip the hurt of not having Michelle in my life. If Michelle came to me months from now and asked me back into her life what would I say? Why do relationships have to be so great and so hard sometimes? I have alot of questions but not enough answers. |
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I'm interested to see what the future brings for me and Michelle? Will we be friend's or will she never want to contact me again. I'm pretty sure she will never have a romantic relationship with me again. My heart will bare the wounds of this strike untill the day of my last breath. I just have to pick myself up and move on. Learn to live with the wound. I've done it before but do you have any idea how it feels? I don't recomend it for any one. I hope you found this page interesting and informative. Please drop me a note if you like. Ben |
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10/15/06 Update - Have not talked with Michelle in some time now. I guess she is pretty content with where she is at and what's she's doing. Hurts to know that she has moved on from our life together so quickly. Michelle is so hard to understand. Wish I could be there for her but she does not want it. This is a hard transition for me to make. |
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