Welcome back. In the first half of my column, I reviewed the first 5 teams of the LSFBL draft. I will now turn my attention to the last 6 teams. They're not necessarily better, just different. Let's get this over with and hurry.
The Good: Anything before round 10. Most picks after round 18.
The Bad: Eveything in between.
The Ugly: What exactly is a "hokie?" Is it a dance? Is it something fake? Is it a team destined for the middle of the pack?
The Hog Mountain Mudslingers had a solid, yet unspectacular draft. Rick Milleman couldn't seem to keep the good times rolling once he got them started. It was kinda like Rerun on roller skates: he doesn't have any moves and you know he's gonna fall sometime soon. That's just what happened. Things started out well with M-Cab, Big Tex and Holliday to start things off. Then a run of D-Train, Dunn, and Brian Giles (has he applied for Social Security yet?) left me wondering if this guy had seen one too many Wiggles episodes.
The Good: Aubrey Huff in the 14th, Aaron Cook in the 17th and Akinori Iwamura in the 23rd.
The Bad: Willis, Dunn, Giles when the picks needed to count. Kendall, Wakefield, Washburn later.
The Ugly: The quality (or lack thereof) of pitching. Quanitity don't equaly quality, Spanky!
This is the inaugural season for the Donkey Punchers. Aaron Adcock did his best to assemble a solid squad, but this kid is from Arkansas (insert your own bass-ackwards, sister-kissing, moonshine-drinking, no-shoe-wearing, hillbilly joke here). On the whole, this draft didn't completely suck. Ace wasn't wowed by the talent acquired, but it's not altogether poopy either. The infield is weak and the outfield is mediocre. The pitching will make or break this kid. The health and production of Randy Johnson, Freddy Garcia, Kip Wells and others will determine if this kid can run with the big dogs or if he's just going to roll over and show his underside in submission.
The Good: Nomar-Paulino-Lidge to start the 20's.
The Bad: No infield bats to mention until Travis Hafner gets 1B eligibility.
The Ugly: A mediocre OF, despite having acquired 6 by the 13th round.
Tim Huelsman is a creature that I just can't figure out. Every season, the BarleyMalts come away with a strong draft and then fade into the sunset half way into the season. This season looks to stay the course. The BMalts started with Pujols, Carpenter, Bay, Hall, and Olsen before any picks were even made. Then Huelsman made solid picks in every round through the 20th. That's when the lone question mark came: Can Luis Gonzalez make it to first without his walker? As long as this team is managed throughout the season, Ace sees the team in contention at the end. Of course, that means Tim has to stay focused and not be lured in by the summer season of Dancing With the Stars. Not likely.
Tim Ludwig was awefully busy during the last two weeks of March. As commissioner, he "ran" the LSFBL draft, he selected two teams in the draft and he went on two vacations. All that and he assembled some pretty good talent for his Mystery Hill squad. The first 4 picks were gems (like the 0.23 carat diamond that I bought the first Mrs. Gumley, because it was true love), the next four look a lot more like cubic zirconiums (like the one I bought for the second Mrs. Gumley, because she had big hooters and we both knew it wouldn't last). The whole rest of the draft looks like a mixed bag of diamonds in the rough and rough looking old hags. There is plenty of talent to be found and this team will compete.
The Good: Excellent infield, solid outfield
The Bad: Rogers, Arroyo, Sheffield, Chipper, and Ibanez will all disappoint (like the second Mrs. Gumley's silicone implants).
The Ugly: Shawn Hill?!? Why do you draft a Nationals pitcher? ANY Nationals pitcher?
The last of our teams is the Blue Ridge Chiliheads. Doug Waring is always in the middle of it all and that's good for 6th place in the 2007 season. Doug eschewed his all-hit, no pitch draft for a more balanced team. This year's Chilis trot Harang, Santana, Lowe, Millwood, and Buehrle out to the mound in hopes of putting together another championship. Despite a good offense, these pitchers have flabby arms (like the third Mrs. Gumley) and their teams will let them down like the Chilis will do to Doug.
The Good: McCann, Drew, and Young will be key Chiliheads for many years.
The Bad: Past Vernon Wells, the outfield is wimpy (like Tim Ludwig).
The Ugly: Too many projects (Gallardo, Lincecum, Hermida) take up too many roster spots.
Well, that's it. I've earned my $20 and now I'm off to see if Britney will take me back.