| Two Steps Forward John paused as he passed by the balcony door. A quick glance through the windows told him there was no one out there, but if he knew her at all�. She was seated on the ground to the left of the door, knees drawn to her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. She was rocking back and forth the slightest bit. �Elizabeth?� he called softly, and she turned to look at him before returning her gaze to the view of the city. �John.� Her voice was flat. �Something I can do for you?� He eased himself to the ground next to her, careful to leave space between them. �Just wanted to see how you�re doing.� Elizabeth shook her head, eyes still trained on whatever it was she was staring at � which, he suspected, was nothing that anyone else would ever be able to see. �I just need a few minutes.� �You�ve been missing for nearly two hours,� John told her, although that wasn�t strictly true � while no one had actually seen her in that long, he knew she still had her radio on and would have been reachable in an emergency. It didn�t seem that it mattered, though, because all he got in response was a distracted-sounding, �Mmmm.� He didn�t think she�d even heard him. John ran a hand over his face and sighed, wishing someone else could be out there instead of him: he never had handled the serious side of things well, usually preferring to make a joke and move on. But he knew that that particular tactic wouldn�t work well here. Besides, he was � unfortunately � perhaps uniquely qualified to understand what Elizabeth was going through. Half of the expedition team was made up of scientists who had never seen combat, and most of the military contingent had never killed face-to-face and had never seen death close-up. He was willing to bet that no one on Atlantis had been in a seemingly non-threatening environment, talking to a potential ally, only to be splattered by that potential ally�s blood as a bullet passed through his brain. John was never letting her out of his sight off-world ever again. From what he�d heard, Elizabeth had handled herself well. Unarmed, she�d dragged the dead man behind some trees � an admittedly useless yet admirable thing to do, the leave no one behind part of him noted � before taking cover herself and waiting for John and his team to arrive. She�d held herself together over the next several hours as they�d dealt with the inevitable fallout of the murder of a high-ranking official. When they�d finally left the planet, they still hadn't figured out who the shooter was or where the weapon had come from; it hadn�t been Earth-issue, but no world they�d ever visited had displayed that sort of technology. Bates was on the planet now, helping with the investigation. Elizabeth had dutifully gone to see Carson upon their return, and had disappeared shortly thereafter. John was relieved to see she�d showered and changed out of her bloody clothes. He eyed her now, debating what to do next. While she hadn�t asked him to leave, it was obvious that she didn�t want to talk. John reached out a hand, hesitating before he let it rest gently on her back. While he thought of her as a friend after these past few months and knew she considered him a friend as well, there was still a remoteness about her that practically shouted at people to keep their distance. So it was to his surprise that she actually leaned into his touch. He moved closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him, resting her chin on her knees. She�d stopped her rocking, though she continued to stare blankly off into the distance. And they sat. Atlantis eventually noticed they were missing, however, and their quiet was interrupted first by Rodney looking for Elizabeth and then, seconds later, by Ford looking for John. �Duty calls,� she said wryly as they got to their feet, and he was glad to see some life back in her eyes. He stopped her just before the door opened. �Elizabeth.� He wasn�t sure if his offer would overstep the boundaries of their friendship, but he knew what it was like. He wished he�d had the same offer when he�d needed it, all those years ago. �It gets harder after dark. When you can�t sleep tonight, come to my quarters.� Her eyes snapped to his, her suddenly sharp gaze missing nothing. John was beginning to wish he�d never opened his mouth when she reached out and tangled their fingers together for one quick moment, squeezing hard. Then she was gone through the door, the everyday sounds of the city filtering out onto the balcony. With a deep breath of the salty ocean air, John left to find Ford. --end-- this fic has a sequel: A Few Steps More back to Atlantis fanfic |