Stevo and I originally decided to do a Monopoly Pub Crawl in March 1998. Using two suggested routes and pub lists found on the Internet, we made our first attempt on 15 April 1998. As neither of us knew London very well, we wasted a lot of time getting lost. In the end we failed to complete the pub crawl by two pubs.

Ten months later, I found myself living in London and decided to try again, this time with a better knowledge of the streets and pubs, and with more people. The date was set as 10 April 1999, almost a year to the day after the first attempt. Bevis and I did a dry run on Saturday 20 February so we would have a better idea of where we were going, especially as a lot of City pubs are closed on Saturdays.

Report

MEETING POINT AT ELEPHANT AT CASTLE
1045: Planned meeting time at Elephant and Castle tube station
1030-1115: People actually arrive
Likelihood of everyone arriving at right time: none
Excuses for lateness: Too much beer night before, Stevo spending hours getting ready, leaking radiator, etc.

Bus 53: Elephant & Castle to first pub in Old Kent Road

1. CANTERBURY ARMS, Old Kent Road
Six starters.
A dodgy little pub, the only one in South London on the route. Barman and regulars hate us for disturbing their peace and ordering half pints.

Bus P13, driven by Keith out of the Prodigy, all around the streets of Bermondsey. Get off alongside Rotherhithe Tunnel so Peter and Mike can satisfy their tunnel-mania. Walk to Rotherhithe Station. Eventually, East London Line tube takes us to from Rotherhithe to Whitechapel. Walk to pub number two.

2. BLIND BEGGAR, Whitechapel Road
Famous for being the place where Ronnie Kray shot George Cornell dead in 1966.

District Line tube from Whitechapel to Tower Hill. Walk to Fenchurch Street Station. Our planned pub, the Pitcher and Piano, is closed, so we go into the station.

3. THE RAVEN, Fenchurch Street Station
Stevo slows our planned 'straight in, straight out' plan by going on the fruit machines. Then wins �20, none of which is shared with everyone to compensate for the delay caused. The lightweights buy food from the station shop.

Walk to Vine Street nearby but everywhere is shut. Minor "We've failed!" panic before we get our act together and decide to do the other Vine Street later on. It starts to rain. Walk down the road to Aldgate station, catch the Circle line to Liverpool Street. Consider cheating by going into Railway Tavern as it's closer, but in the end we stick with the original pub.

4. HAMILTON HALL, Liverpool Street Station
The biggest pub of the day is also one of the cheapest. It was originally a hotel ballroom built in 1901, and was closed from 1939 when war broke out until Wetherspoons converted it into a pub in 1997.

Circle Line tube to Moorgate; change on to the Northern Line to Angel. Caught up in some sort of protest march outside the station, another attempt by fate at slowing us down. Even the Policemen in the van try to delay us. Eventually we make it across the road.

5. THE ANGEL, The Angel, Islington
The Angel opened in summer 1998, enabling us to go to a pub with the same name as the place on the board. We discover from the girl behind the bar that we're not alone on the Monopoly Pub Crawl today. Bevis hits the Red Bull+Vodka.

Pentonville Road bus fun: We upset Peter by catching the 214 instead of the 73 from the Angel to the planned pub. It's closed so we go back towards the Angel on a 73, getting off near where we started. This pleases the aforementioned Routemaster bus devotee. Outside the pub, Bevis, fuelled by Red Bull, forgets to get off, eventually leaping off at 30 mph.

6. PINT POT, Pentonville Road
This pub is much better than the planned pub. It was last year's Pentonville Road stop, too. Everyone is in the drinking mood by now, which is good as we're not even a quarter of the way through. Fears start to emerge that we won't make it.

Bus 73 again, taking in the sights of Pentonville for a third time. Get off near King's Cross Station.

7. COOPERS, King's Cross Station
Cooper's has a roof leaking piss into Bevis' pint, which amuses everyone, including Bevis who doesn't notice that it's yellow until the area is cordoned off by a member of staff.

Walk just up the road to the next pub.

8. EUSTON FLYER, Euston Road
A big pub showing the rugby - and Scotland are winning. Peter has a suspicion that we've found a couple of rival Monopoly Crawlers.

Bus 30 to Baker Street station - and we confirm that the two blokes who get on the same bus are indeed fellow Crawlers. We jump off the bus and it's a race to the next pub. Despite our efforts, they make it there first.

9. VICTORIA AND ALBERT, Marylebone Station
The other group of Monopoly Crawlers down their drinks and leave frighteningly quickly, but not before hinting that Fleet Street could be a problem, and arguing over which Vine Street is which. We don't see them again.

Bus 2 to Park Lane, where there are no public bars open at this time. From here, it's just a short walk to Old Park Lane.

10. ROSE AND CROWN, Old Park Lane, near Park Lane
Doubting we'd get into one of the hotel bars on Park Lane proper, we go down the road to Old Park Lane. We arrive just in time for the Grand National, but there's no time for that, we've got serious drinking to do if we want to be halfway at the 5 o'clock meeting point at Leicester Square, which is getting dangerously close. Bevis upsets the bar staff by describing their beer as 'unappetising'.

Walk via Piccadilly and Down Street into the heart of Mayfair.

11. SHEPHERD'S TAVERN, Hertford Street, Mayfair
This pub dates back to the time of the original 'May Fair', according to the sign outside. Peter goes into the shop opposite especially to buy 'Mayfair' cigarettes so he can pose in front of the sign for Dave VL's 'Mayfair' photo. Bevis slags off the pub for being too expensive when his vodka and orange comes to more than two quid.

Walk back down to Piccadilly and onward towards Leicester Square.

12. PITCHER AND PIANO, Dover Street, off Piccadilly
A spontaneous "shall we go there instead?" meant that we never made it to the planned Piccadilly pub. The Pitcher and Piano is closer to Piccadilly than the one we were going to go to, and it's better. It even has a real piano at the bottom of a big hole or something.

Walk further along Piccadilly then up Old Bond Street to Stafford Street.

13. SHELLEY'S, Stafford Street, off Old Bond Street
A loud vote in the street resulted in us going into the Goat House on Stafford Street, but the barman said he wouldn't serve large parties, so we went to Shelley's opposite, which was the originally planned pub anyway. To celebrate being half-way through, everyone had a tequila.

Walk past Piccadilly Circus to Leicester Square.

14. MOON UNDER WATER, Leicester Square
Amazingly, we arrive on time at the 5 o'clock meet up point, and are joined by two more Crawlers for the evening session. It's getting towards the evening in the West End so it's getting a bit busier. My top hat is starting to crack, as is the sobriety of most of the Crawlers. Dave V and Gary, the newcomers, are drinking full pints at first to catch up.

Walk back via Coventry Street to Oxenden Street.

15. THE COMEDY, Oxenden Street, off Coventry Street
The Comedy pub is next door to the Comedy Store, hence the name. We are having to double back on ourselves here as we had to bypass these two pubs to be at Leicester Square on time.

Walk via Haymarket to Pall Mall. Crown Passage is a small alleyway at the far end.

16. RED LION, Crown Passage, off Pall Mall
The second oldest pub in London, the Red Lion has been there since the 1500s. It makes a change to be in a small quiet pub. There's another group claiming to be doing the Monopoly Pub Crawl, although they don't seem to be in much of a hurry.

Walk back up to Piccadilly, then cross the road to Swallow Street. The next pub is opposite an alleyway called Vine Street.

17. BENTLEY'S CABIN, Swallow Street, opposite Vine Street
An empty basement bar that shouldn't really have been on the pub crawl, but with no pubs open on the 'real' Vine Street, this is the next best thing. There are free chips on the bar, which is a bonus.

Walk round the corner to Regent Street.

18. CHEERS, Regent Street
Half of our group get served straight away, the rest have to wait about 15 minutes. Depending on whether you were in the former of the latter group, you either liked or hated this theme pub based on the TV show.

Walk up Regent Street to Great Marlborough Street. The top hat falls apart en route and is given a hero's farewell - trampled to death on Regent Street.

19. FANFARE AND FIRKIN, Great Marlborough Street
By this point, Stevo is very drunk and on the verge of losing it. The rest of us stand outside on the corner of 60s-throwback street Carnaby Street. The Fanfare features in the 2000 crawl, but like many Firkins, became O'Neills at the end of 2000.

Walk to eastern end of Oxford Street. On the corner is the next pub.

20. THE TOTTENHAM, Oxford Street
The only pub on Oxford Street comes in two halves. Half of the group go upstairs, half downstairs. We leave minus the first - and only - drop outs.

Walk down Charing Cross Road to Trafalgar Square. Lots of mad traffic-dodging on the way.

21. CHANDOS, St. Martin's Lane, off Trafalgar Square
We're on the home-straight now. Just six pubs left to do and several hours left; it's only just getting dark. We've lost Bevis and Stevo, who eventually go on to the Lord Moon of the Mall in Whitehall -originally planned to be the final pub- but the main group never see them again.

Walk past Trafalgar Square to Whitehall.

22. OLD SHADES, Whitehall
For some reason we choose not go to the planned pub, and go into this 101-year old pub instead. Last year's Whitehall pub, the Silver Cross, closed down at the end 1998, but has since reopened with a refit, sometime during late-1999.

Walk round the corner and along Northumberland Avenue to the next pub.

23. SHERLOCK HOLMES, Northumberland Street, at Northumberland Avenue
This theme pub used to be part of the Northumberland Hotel that featured in 'The Hound of the Baskervilles'. By this point we've got about two hours left to do three more pubs.

Walk up to the Strand, and along to the next pub.

24. COAL HOLE, Strand
The Coal Hole staff are reluctant to serve a bunch of drunk people, so I go to the WELLINGTON across the road for my quickest drink of the day. About the Coal Hole, the Time Out Pub Guide says, "If you're not an office worker or theatre buff, you might want to go elsewhere". I did.

Walk up Wellington Street onto Bow Street.

25. THE GLOBE, Bow Street
In the heart of the Covent Garden theatre area, and so probably full of more 'theatre buffs'. But I can't remember at all.

As a result of drunkenness we all take different routes to the final pub, some walk, some wait for the bus.

26. YE OLDE CHESHIRE CHEESE, Fleet Street
Disaster! We all arrive at different times to find that the Cheshire Cheese, the only pub on Fleet Street that opens on Saturdays, is shut. It was open on the 'dry run', but obviously closes early. With no alternative, we have to accept that the Pub Crawl has failed. Again. Next year will be different.

Postscript

I later found out that the Cheshire Cheese usually closes at 3, but on my Dry Run it had been open later for a special occasion. We had another go in 2000.

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Created 31 October 2000. Updated 6 December 2000.
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