Chapter 10: How Do I Deal?
How am I supposed to dream?
Music to read by: "How Do I Deal"
by Jennifer Love Hewitt

Every night in the dark, I lie awake in bed.
How am I supposed to dream with all the static in my head.
Torn in all directions, and I pray for some relief.
What can I do but feel the weight Im undreneath,
and grit my teeth.
How do I deal with you, how do I deal with me?
When I dont even know myself or what it is you want from me.
How do I deal with love, how do I know whats real?
Why do I have to choose? how do I deal...
I felt the sun's soft rays falling upon my face, waking me from my sleep. I didnt want to get up and face another day of people and problems. I just wanted to sleep. I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head. "Five more minutes" I whined, as if my mother was calling me to get up for school. Thankfully no one was around. No one to tell me where I had to be, what I had to do. I had no plans for the day and no boss, except myself. Grrr, I moaned as the phone rang drawing me from my half-sleep. I reached my hand out fumbling around for the phone, my head still burried under the covers. "Hello?" I asked grogilly and half annoyed that someone was calling me on my day off.
"Hi precious"
"Hi daddy!!"
"Good morning sweetie, how are you?"
"Im alright, I guess" I didnt care to go into details.
"How is your mother?"
"Alright, I guess" another generic answer. "When are you coming home?"
"I plan on flying in on Thursday, if we get this job done on schedule, which it all seems to be. How is the recording coming? How is the band? Are they any good?"
"Oh, recording is coming along fine, the band is nice and they have some real talent." The oldest is really nice, the middle one is a great kisser, and you would have to ask Mel if you wanna know if Zac's any good. I couldnt tell ya...yet anyways. *Sigh* How did I get myself into this shit?
"Sounds great. Well, I just wanted to check in and tell you I miss you."
"I miss you too daddy."
"I'll see you soon sweetie. Bye bye"
"Bye"
*click*
Sometimes I think he is the greatest guy on earth. This was deffinately one of those times.
Just then a little reminder jumped into my head and popped my bliss bubble...Joey.  Dont get me wrong, I love the guy, I really do, and I would love to be his girlfriend, but I really dont think Im ready for that step. Why do I have to be so emotional sometimes? Cant I just let go and enjoy myself? "You know what?", I said to myself, almost waiting for a reply., "I am. From now on, Im going to enjoy all of this. Stop worring. Smile, be happy" I now had a new outlook on the day.  I called up Mel and the guys told them to meet me at the studio at 11. Unfortunately, Issac had other plans, involving another girl. I was happy for him though. I jumped in the shower, got dressed and headed to the studio. When I got there Zac and Mel were waiting outside, just chatting. I only saw Mel's car which made me wonder  if Zac spent the night with her. Hmm...interesting. A few minutes later Taylor arrived in his Red BMW and Joey drove up in his green pick-up, just about at the same time. I got 2 huge smiles followed by 2 ever huger hugs. Everyone was interested to see just what I had planned for the day's excursion.
"Hey Aud, where are you taking us today?" Taylor asked.
"Oh, patience my dear, patience" I said acting like some wise old scholar.
"Wel, who is gonna drive? Since youre the only one who knows where were going and you cant fit all 5 of us in your car?" Joey wondered.
"We arent driving, were taking the subway." I answered matter-of-factly
"Oh man," Zac moaned "were gonna get hepatitus!"
"We are not, chill out" Mel retorted, kissing him on the cheek. These 2 were so cute. We walked a couple of blocks down to the subway station. I knew these routes like the back of my hand. Dad and I used to ride them all the time from his old apartment to the studio.  We got inside, other than the 5 of us, there were only 2 other people, both of which got off at the next stop. We were all alone. Apparently Zac had never been on a subway cause he started to swing from the bars. He kicked Tayor and he took off chasing Zac back and forth. Pretty soon we were all involved. Then we ame to a sudden stop. We all fell forward. I landed on someone, but I didnt know who, the lights had gone off. I dont know who I was on top of, but it had to be either Joey or Taylor.  I felt his had slide up my back, he kissed me on the neck.
"Is everyone ok?" Zac asked.
I felt the person underneath me attempt to get up, so I sat up and crawled over to one of the sides. The emergency lights came on. I looked to see who I had just encountered, but Joey and Taylor were both behind me. Zac was on the other side with Melissa. We all just kinda looked at each other, scared. None of us had ever been stuck in the subway. We moved to sit next to each other. It was silent. Joey took my hand. We all just held our breath and waited.
Take Me Home
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