| Favorite Quotes... |
| --"I'm bored. Let's go shave my pussy!" - my friend Nikki --"Don't tell ME what to do!" - Mandy --"I saw Principal Skinner and Ms. Krabapple in the janitor's closet and they were making babies and I saw the babies and then one of the babies looked at me." - Ralph Wiggum ("The Simpsons") --"Stop thinking, let things happen, and BE the ball." -Ty from Caddyshack --"You're as ugly as a horse's butthole with herpes." -me --"No matter where you go, there you are." -unknown --"Maturity is overrated." -me --"Hey! Lama! How about somethin', you know, for the efforts! And he said to me, he said 'There will be no money involved, but on your deathbed you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me...which is nice." -Carl from Caddyshack --"Don't worry...It'll only seem kinky the first time." -T-shirt quote from my friend Bridget --"Goonga Galoonga. Goonga...Goonga Galunga." -Carl --"I smell varmint poon tang. And the only good varmint poon tang is dead varmint poon tang." -Carl --"Shuck you, ho ho." -Anonymous (some of you know) --"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me." - Mandy quoting a Rage Against the Machine song (Killing in the Name) --"And a varmint...will never quit. They're like the Viet Kong...Varmint Kong...And that's all she wrote." - Carl --"There's a snake in my boots!!" - Woody from Toy Story --"Agh, I hate the Colonel with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face!!" "Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?" "Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartarse!" - So I Married an Axe Murderer --"They're [stop signs] just suggestions, like pants." - Tone --"They're sharing this drink they call loneliness, well it's better than drinking alone." - Billy Joel's "The Piano Man" |