My wife says that this cartoon character reminds her of me.

 She's wrong I hope

(This little gem was found on the website of Lodge St. John Corstorphine, No. 788, under the Scottish Constitution.)

Three Master Masons met and were talking over conditions at their Lodges.

The first Master said, "You know, since summer started, I've been having trouble with mice in my Lodge. I've tried everything - noise, cat's spray - nothing seems to scare them away.

The second Master said, "Yeah, my Lodge too. There are hundreds of them living in the Lodge basement. I've set traps and even called in an expert exterminator. Nothing has worked so far."

The third Master said, "I've had the same problem. So I initiated all mine and made them members of the Lodge. Haven't seen one of them since."

(Since we are in an eternal quest for "light", this little bit somehow seems appropriate.)

A: It's a secret!

****

Q: How many Masons does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to screw it in, one to read the minutes of the previous light bulb replacement, and one to sit on the sidelines and complain about the way they USED to screw in light bulbs.

****

How many Masons does it take to change a light bulb?

After much research this tricky question can now be answered. It takes 20, as follows:

    2 to complain that the light doesn't work.
    1 to pass the problem to either another committee, Temple Board or Master of the Lodge.
    3 to do a study on light in this Lodge.
    2 to check out the types of lights the Knights of Columbus use.
    3 to argue about it.
    5 to plan a fund-raising dinner to raise money for the bulb.
    2 to complain that "that's not the way we did it before."
    1 to borrow a ladder, donate the bulb and install it.
    1 to order the brass memorial plate and have it inscribed.

So mote it be !