Chance meeting in Sarajevo 3rd September 1999
As told by Simmy (Stavanger Branch).
The trip started early on the Thursday with the arrival in Stavanger of Honorary member Euan fae Stoney (Simmy's cousin). It also coincided with a company golf outing. Sgt. Sponge as Manager was picking up the tab, although he sleekily didnae attend the evening festivities. Sandy (or Dr Doofukall as he was known then) one of the clients was making the most of it in true Noggy fashion.
So of we set for our ubiquitous (big word) 06:00 check-in, whiskies in the taxi, Guinness at the airport lounge and a few worried glances as to the Doc's whereabouts. Needless to say, we held the plane up for as long as possible for Doc to show with the Sponge going to extra ordinary lengths short of hijacking. Euan and Simmy believed this to be because Sandy was the only smoker, and Sgt. Sponge doesn't like purchasing cigarettes. (Other peoples taste better- he frequently tells me!!)
Anyway, minus the doc, we set off with our usual pleasantries to the stewardess to ensure we get preferential drinks service, which was duly forthcoming. We has a pit stop at Copenhagen for a and a few Jaggermeisters and lager chasers and to tie in with Tam McTurk, soon to be Tram. (See how it all began story).
Another drunken flight to Munich, with Simmy and Sponge behind typical Yank family with silly names. Lots of pleasant piss takes and numerous renditions of the Dambuster theme, (pre-Engerlund usage) complete with hand flying goggles and we made Munich. Anyone who was at Munich Airport, could you let me know if you saw me cos I don't remember being there. Allegedly we ran into Dougie from Germany complete with Hun tartan, which made for good conversation.
Finally arrived in Sarajevo and made the hotel with assistance from courier.
Checked in, lovely hotel in the mountains, beautiful scenery etc, off to the pub. Reading the travel club notes about not drinking in the Muslim part of town, we had to walk through it to get to the main town. It was a long walk so we had to have a few on the way but no-one was offended. By this time we had whittled down to Simmy, Sponge and Euan. Running into foot soldiers along the way, getting into the spirit of things, doing the usual first day pub crawl.
Sometime later that afternoon (after dropping gifts off for the orphan appeal), and completely pissed we ran into a few TA that told us where the team were staying and that it was just "up the road" so off we set, stopping again at every pub we could on the way, asking all the gorgeous locals where we were going. Sponge even leant a hand to the bobbies doing traffic duty.
Anyway, we finally come to the Holiday Inn, where the team was. We decided that it was a good idea to take loads of photo's opposite the old parliament building with its massive bomb craters half-way up. Then, "enough of this tourist shite, lets get a beer. Where's the door?" No obvious Holiday Inn sign, so we tried the small side door.
So picture the scene. Three falling down drunk footsoldiers, complete with, kilts, Glengarries, feathers and one pipers jacket, staggering through this side door, holding up each other, and we walk into THE TEAM MEETING. Not just the first team, but the U-21's, the hangers on (Some committee or other), Marjorie and
the three of us. It was one of those moments in life where everything either stops or goes in slow motion. "Oh f**k
we shouldnae be in here" All eyes turn around and the meeting stops. SILENCE. Oops, lets go. Memory loss gets the better of me here, and I can't recall if I had a big cheesy grin or a look of sheer horror. I've also no idea how long we were frozen to the spot. Needless to say a retreat of which the Italian army would have been proud was made.
However, this didn't cure our thirst and off we set to find the entrance. Another likely candidate for entrance without a Holiday Inn sign was spotted. As this was a good five minute stagger around the hotel, we were fairly sure we'd covered most of the hotel, so in we step. "Oh shit, its another meeting" "F**k me
it's the same meeting" to which a security chap says "This is a private meeting, you shouldn't be in here."
Well spotted Sherlock. We eventually found the entrance and began the long process of curing our thirst. Some of the team (and Marjory) made their way over to us the foyer, "That's the funniest thing I've ever seen" said Gould, "twice yous interrupted our meeting" says Gemmill, loads of photo opportunities and discussions. Sgt. Sponge asks Marjory "did anyone notice?" Marjory as ever was polite and diplomatic as ever replied " wasn't the deathly silence a bit of a giveaway? No harm done though and a few beers with Craigy Broon, Billy McNeil and a few others.
The thirst quenching went well on into the morning. Euan giving 25 verses of "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" which was only stopped by a 10 foot projectile vomit which would make anyone proud.
Sarajevo, thanks for a great time we love you.
Simmy.
