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Title: Orcs in Black
Author: Lobelia; [email protected]
Website: My niche; http://www.geocities.com/lobelia321
Pairing: Jed Brophy / Stephen Ure
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Never happened. Not true.
Author's Notes: This is not really a fic, just a dialogue motivated by mobile-phone txt-slash and a need for this pairing. Posted here for pure fun value.

Pictures of the TTT Wellington premiere that inspired this sartorial exchange:

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"May I say (out of the side of my mouth) that you look very sharp in that black suit of yours, Jed?"

"And may I reply, Steve, that you don't look bad, either, in your Peter-Jackson lookalike purple shirt?"

"Oi, I'll have you know that I pioneered this shirt. Pete copied it from me."

"That man has no fashion sense."

"You're right about that. Is that a cotton-microfibre blend in your trousers?"

"Well spotted, Steve. Feel the smooth nap of the weave."

"Mm, very smooth. Smooth and sharp all at the same time."

"You got it. Soft and hard. Soft fabric on the outside and, er, hard..."

"No need to finish that sentence, Jed. By the way, I also do like your black-tie and black-shirt combination. Very stylish."

"Why, thank you. Oh... you're still feeling that lap, I mean nap..."

"Yes, and your tie needs straightening. Or loosening. I note that it has a subtle inlaid pattern, an interesting hue-on-hue embroidery effect."

"What are you doing after the premiere, Steve?"

"Checking out your other wardrobe items, perhaps?"

"I'd like to see you with a tie on... and nothing else."

All original parts of this story: © Lobelia

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