12/31 - 2003 is coming to end while 2004 is just beginning.  like everyone else, i'm reflecting  on this past year.  the ending of last year & the beginning of this year was tumultuous & filled w/ unhappiness .  then things got better deeper in to 2003.  this year i've learned lots of things about myself & the rest of the world.  i'm going in to 2004 w/ change on my mind to build stronger relationships w/ those i've neglected this year.  it's heartwarming to me to know that X-Mas w/ my friends this year was wonderful & sweet .  lol ...apparently the homemade gifts i've given my friends these past years are something they look forward to each year. i always thought  they were faking 'bout liking my gifts, but it seems that they actually are excited  'bout what kind of creativity i can churn up each year.  THANKS to all my friends & family for all the memories they've given me & shared w/ me.  i can't wait to spend more loving times w/ you next year !!  HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!


12/30 - tonight i had dinner w/ Brandi & Tara @ Genki Sushi in Kapahulu.  it was the 1st time i've seen them in a long, long time. we had to catch up on lots of things, & exchange x-mas gifts which we never got a chance to give each other earlier.  thanks to Joe for paying for our dinner .  after dinner, we went to Cold Stone Creamery @ Ward for dessert.  my germanchokolatekake was soo yummy !  i love  going out w/ Tara & Brandi. they put me @ ease w/ myself, & i feel so comfortable around them. too bad i don't get to see them often 'cause they work so damn much .  i'm so happy  they're still my friends after all these years, & that their love lives are going well--unlike mines which is non-existent .


12/26 - the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl was yesterday @ Aloha Stadium.  i didn't attend the game, but i did watch it on ESPN.  boy was that an exciting  football game between the 2 UHs: the University of Hawaii Warriors & the University of Houston Cougars.  the game went to 3 overtimes before the Warriors prevailed on top @ the end--whoo hoo !!!  however, i was so shocked  when i saw a Houston player punch & attack a hawaii player after the game ended. then a brawl broke out between both teams. the ESPN announcers then said how embarrassing  it was to see such a great game end so horribly.  i was pissed  off to see so many Houston players charging @ the hawaii players & punching them & kicking them.  i could see the hawaii players try to restrain themselves, but after a while they attacked back after too many Houston guys hit them. overall, i was embarrassed  for my school & state to see such a nasty brawl being aired live on national t.v. after such an amazing game had ended.  nobody is saying who really started the brawl 'cause it happened so quickly, but i believe it was Houston who started it.  i saw the 1st punch being thrown by them on t.v. while the hawaii players were celebrating their hard-earned victory.  come on, who starts a brawl after you've just won a game that took you 4+ hours to win ?????


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12/23 - yesterday my family & i began moving across the street.  ugh , i'm so tired  & sore from all the carrying & lifting of heavy bags, boxes, & furnitures.  sad thing is that we're not done, & it doesn't look like we'll be done anytime soon.  it'll probably take us an entire week to get everything in the other house.  then we'll have to clean the other place & still have to sort the things in the new place.  i was excited  about moving, but now i'm sick  of it.


12/22 - i had a fun  time taking pics @ the Honolulu City Lights x-mas display last night w/ my lovely friends & some folks from Cali.  it was wonderful to be around friends during the holidays . Hong & Charles from Cali are really cool, interesting guys.  lol , i had a blast hearing their & my friends' racists jokes while we were hanging out @ Round Top [we're not racist. it was a cultural exchange ].  we topped the night off by having late night eats @ McCully's Zippy's...as we usually do .  HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE !!!!  i hope everyone is celebrating the holidays the way they want.  i'll be working on planning another x-mas outing w/ Thu....


12/18 - i dropped by Ala Moana for a little while yesterday to drop off a card to be mailed @ the post office, & then walked around to check out the sales. Jeans Warehouse is selling a bunch of fake Louis Vuitton & Gucci bags.  i think  they're soo cute & quite good fakes !!  i wanna get the fake louie vuitton that looked like a little messenger bag, but i didn't have extra $$ to burn to get it (gotta save the $$ on buying x-mas gifts).  hey, the real Louie Vuitton & Gucci bags are nice, but they're so damn expensive !  but then again, i'm more of a Coach gal, & i'd rather buy 10 fake brand name bags than spend it on getting just 1 real 1.  i don't carry a lot of $$ in my wallet, so i find it weird  for myself to be carrying around a bag that's worth 10x more than all the contents in my bag. i'd rather be humble using a bunch of fake bags @ my age 'cause i don't wanna be careful where i place them so they won't get damaged or stolen. when i'm able to earn a good deal of $$, i'll get myself a fancy bag--preferabbly Coach. until then, i won't mind it if someone got me a fake bag or a real 1 for X-mas or my b-day...


12/17 - i'm done!  i'm done!  i'm completely done taking all my finals today!!!!  whoo hoo!!!


12/10 - it's official.  i am no longer pledging for a sorority, & it's a choice i made on my own after countless hours of reflection.  i am moving on to other things now like studying for finals to pass my classes, then spend time w/ friends & family, & then it'll be finding myself a job.  as for the 2 1/2 mths. of hysteria, i would like to thank some people within the sorority for their encouragement & support during my low times, & fun chats  we've had in class & study hall even though they might be angry  w/ the letter i wrote.  i'm not gonna name names because i'm sure some of you know who you are--hint hint: if i have class w/ you, i'm talkin' 'bout you.  to the chick i have COM 201 w/, remember the stairway to heaven ?  sometimes i feel like we're so quirky & wacky  in the same way that talking to you is like talking to myself except you're much skinnier than i am, you've got longer hair w/ red streaks, you're much prettier than i am, and you can speak mandarin way better than me.  i hope you don't find the comparison an insult because it's supposed to be a compliment!  to the chick i have CHEM 151 w/ (the 1 w/ long hair), you too are a fun gal to be w/.  you're so encouraging and helpful--i wish others were more like you.  thanks for the love during songfest.  to the other chick i have CHEM 151 w/ (the 1 w/ short hair), you're so smart & talented--especially singing. you, too, have been very encouraging & supportive during the times i was feeling so low & beat up. & lastly Kehau, you're the best ! i absolutely love talking to you !  you're extremely intelligent, so talking is a learning experience.  my brain absorbs everything you tell me 'cause it exudes thoughtfulness, caring, intelligence, & much more. you've kept the process real, & didn't sugarcoat anything.  THANKS !  i hope the 4 of you who's been wonderful to me...won't take what i wrote in my letter to heart.  when i was writing the letter, i wasn't thinking about y'all 'cause i felt you ladies have been fair during the process.  the next thanks will go to a group of 3 girls who went through pledging w/ me--Jeraldine, Kathrine, & Alana. though i decided not to continue @ the very end, please don't think i whimped out, & respect the decision i made.  you 3 girls are wonderful.  you individually brought something to the table that was an asset.  thanks for everything!  for the 2 who became sisters, please push for change within the sorority 'cause i don't want to have to do something that could possibly bring the end of it. there's great potential in the sorority for lots of wonderful things, but i couldn't go along w/ it anymore 'cause i could no longer turn my head to all the crap.  in the end, the most important thing was for me to be ME.


12/09 - all i want this Christmas, besides good health for my entire family & friends, is to spend a day w/ all my friends.  after all that's happened this year, i wanna arrange a day where we can have dinner & chat  so i can get caught up w/ what's been going on w/ all of y'all. i haven't spent that much time w/ them this year, & i feel horrible  for that.  so Trang, Kelsey, Brandi, Tara, Li, Amy, Anna, Kat, Jodi (if you're back on the island), & whomever i'm missing right now--call me up (or leave me a comment when you'll be available) so we can plan a get-together, okay ?! if you're too busy, i'll be calling you soon! Shan, you're invited too, but you won't be home for.


12/03 - once again i'm completely stressed out  & frustrated as hell.  my emotions are running high right now.  the slightest thing can get me fuming , but, so far, i've managed to bite my tongue & just take it.  however, i don't think i can do that much longer. this weekend, i might just go completely crazy  (in the bad sense) if anymore crap is going my way. the devil that i've managed to keep hidden within me just might be released....  argh , i want this week to end already .