Chapter 5

My eyes slowly peeled open and strained to stay that way as I was instantly greeted with a pounding headache. Even the slightest bit of sun streaming in from the far window was enough to make me coil behind the covers like the vampire I was going to be playing in Gackt�s movie.

Gackt.

Suddenly I recalled the twisted turn of events from last night and realized that when I rolled over, I was likely to find myself face-to-face with him yet again. I mentally prepared myself for such a view as I rolled onto my back -- only to see an empty mess of sheets beside me.

I sat up �much too quickly for my drunken headache� and glanced around the room. Freeing myself from the covers I padded into the foyer and noted that Gackt�s jacket, keys, and the document containing my soul�I mean signature, were all missing.

I tried not to feel hurt that he had used me and then disappeared without a trace.
Then I tried to forget that I just made such an assumption about us like we were a couple and went about my morning routine � meaning eating breakfast and watching TV.

Interrupting me was a shrill cell phone ring which I literally dashed to answer, thinking it might be Gackt giving an apology for not saying goodbye and telling me how much he wished he could have stayed (ugh, could I get more sappy right now?)�

Instead, it was my management reminding me that I had an interview scheduled for this afternoon. I took a few aspirin to rid the headache and prepared for the day ahead of me.

Throughout the morning I tried not to let myself be angered at the fact that I hadn�t even heard from Gackt. I made my way to my room, spending some time in my closet to pick out the right outfit for my interview, just in case they felt the need to snap a photo or two. I walked to my dresser, pulling out my large virgin tear pendant to hang around my collar and it was then that I noticed the garishly large hickey on the right side of my neck, no doubt left there from Gackt last night.

My hand flew to the spot, rubbing the red splotch as though it would come off from that alone and cursing at myself for ever allowing such violation of my neck in the first place. Quickly I ran to Megumi�s room and fumbled through her makeup kit, trying to find something I could use to cover it up. I grabbed a few skin-toned looking creams and powders and threw them on the sink counter in the bathroom. First I dumped out some liquidy peach stuff and dabbed it on, but it was dribbling down my neck and making a mess. Next I tried a lighter toned cream but it was mixing with the previous ointment and causing an awkward blotch of color. Finally I grabbed the powder and puffed its contents all around but the result was nothing but a gauche colored, chalky, caked mess on my neck.

It looked worse now than it did before. Grabbing a wash cloth and dampening it under the sink, I rubbed the make-up off as best I could and returned to my room in defeat. After I finished dressing I went downstairs where I caught sight of the bags Tetsu had dragged into my house last night. I had some time before I had to leave so I started to sort through them when I came across a long white scarf. I didn�t know he ever rid of his precious scarves but I suppose the white color was just too plain for his tastes. So I wrapped it around my neck, being cautious to cover the hickey, and slipped out the door.

I returned home late that evening; the interview ran long and afterwards I called Sakura but when he didn�t answer his phone, I called Tetsu who thankfully agreed to meet me out for dinner, where I had the chance to apologize and further explain the movie and Gackt situation.

During my day I tried to shun thoughts of the dry-humping and tonsil-hockey that had taken place between Gackt and I last night but it was hard to avoid, even as I tried to focus throughout my day. During the interview I was asked if I had any plans for the summer and had to dodge it cautiously, but instantly thought about Gackt. Then while out with Tetsu (who complimented how well his scarf looked on me) his every other question was about Gackt and what he was like and what the movie was about� And all day I was continuously fidgeting with the scarf, making certain that it was always covering the red splotch, left by none other than Gackt himself, on my neck.

Finally home, I sighed and removed my jacket and shoes, pulling out my cellular to see if I had any missed calls, especially from someone in particular. But all I was alerted to was a new voicemail from Megumi and I chose to ignore it, flipping the phone shut again and shoving it into my pocket.

Just as I was starting to enjoy the thought that I�d finally have a free night where I could mope around my house all I pleased, the door bell rang. As the bell sounded a second time, I considered ignoring it all together and pretending I wasn�t home, but since only a few select people knew where I lived, I realized that I wouldn�t actually be able to get away with that without being hunted down eventually.

I spun around and walked lazily to the door, opening it just enough to look out and find Gackt staring back at me.

��Hi�um�.Gackt�.� I stammered, his appearance at the door surprising me.

�Hyde, forgive me for dropping by unexpectedly. May I� come in?� Gackt said, moving his head to the side as though he were trying to peek through the small space leading into my home. I took a minute to eyeball his attire and took notice that one hand was behind his back. Curious as I was, I was still also angry that I hadn�t heard from him all day.

�Sure,� I said, stepping back from the door without pulling it open any further and leaving a semi-confused Gackt to push his way through. I made my way to the living room, just now deciding to put away the brandy bottles left sitting out from the night before. I heard Gackt enter the room but continued to keep my back to him as he attempted to make small talk.

�How was your day, Hyde?� Gackt started as I took extra time lining up the bottles in the cabinet.

�Could have been better,� I replied quietly, turning the bottles around so all the labels were facing the same direction. I heard a rustle and as I closed the cabinet�s glass doors, two arms reached around my waist and my body was pulled backwards against Gackt�s tall, warm frame. He leaned his head over my left shoulder to look at my face.

�Hyde�� Gackt whispered, looking up at me. �I�m sorry about this morning-�

�Yeah you should be,� I said, crossing my arms over my chest as he pulled his body closer to mine. �You could have waked me and said goodbye. Or written a note or something.�

�I�m sorry, Hyde. I was in a terrible rush to get to my photo shoot,� Gackt replied in his smooth voice, moving to sway our bodies. I tried to stand firm. �But I thought about you the whole time I was there��

�Then why didn�t you call?� I retorted. I noted I was giving Gackt replies akin to the cold whines I was used to hearing from my wife.

�I was very busy,� Gackt continued, nuzzling his nose into the back of my hair, and I heard him inhale. �And after the shoot, which ran longer than usual, I had to rush to the office to take care of the movie contracts,� When he said the word �movie� he squeezed me a little tighter. �I got tied up and lost track of time.�

As I felt his face moving around the back of my head and heard him sniffing into my hair, he pressed his body fully into me and I could feel that he was eager to jump right back into what we had started last night. My eyes began to flutter shut from the sensations or maybe it was just the sudden influx of his Egoiste cologne invading my nostrils, but I didn�t want to give into this so easily. I battled with myself to pull away from his grasp and when I was freed, Gackt was looking at me with a confused expression through lust-hooded eyes. I then noted a large arrangement of roses sitting on the coffee table, no doubt placed there just moments earlier.

�Oh, by the way,� I started, unraveling the scarf from my neck. �I thought I was supposed to be the vampire, ne?� I pulled the scarf off entirely, dropping it to the ground and revealing the large red hickey on the right side of my neck.

I was filled with a strange sort of accomplishment as Hyde revealed to me the reddened love bite on his neck because I couldn�t stop from smiling at it. Nearing him I started to reach my hand forth, which Hyde looked as though he wanted to swat at, but rather he just sighed and looked away from me as I touched it lightly with a finger. As I traced it gently, I couldn�t help but feel as though it was my mark of possession on Hyde�s body and found the asymmetrical mark to be something of beauty.

I leaned in to place a gentle butterfly kiss upon his neck but just as my lips were about to make contact, Hyde shoved me roughly away from him.

I didn�t know how to react or what to say but the look in Hyde�s eyes was something feral I had never seen from him before. He stepped forward and pushed me again, this time knocking me onto the couch.

�Hyde!� I exclaimed, about to get up and demand what he was doing. But Hyde had moved in front of me in an instant, his fingers over my mouth now as he eyed my features and slowly drug his hand past my chin, trailing down my neck and collarbone, stopping when he reached the top of my buttoned shirt.

�I don�t want any more of these desirous, drunken encounters between us, Gackt,� Hyde said, his voice low and his hand on my chest forcing me to rest against the back of the seat as he lifted his knee onto the couch in between my legs.

��I�m not drunk now, Hyde,� I replied as he moved his hands to my shoulders, pushing his knee forward until it was nearly touching my crotch.

�Neither am I�� he quietly said, looking into my eyes. �And that�s what scares me.�

I blinked up at him. In a mere two sentences Hyde had admitted that he was fully aware what was going on between us was reaching a new level. He also slid his knee forward, causing it to gently massage my groin.

I tried to suppress the low noise growling from the back of my throat but Hyde still had that wild, dark look in his eyes and I couldn�t hold back the groan any longer. I wanted to grab Hyde�s hips and pull him down onto me but as I reached out he caught my wrists and held them there in between us. My wide eyes met his and he bit his lip, nudging his knee slightly and causing me to groan in need yet again. The damn little tease.

�I had places to be today; people to see; things to do,� Hyde rasped as he continued to stare at me. I wasn�t sure what he was getting at until he purposely angled his neck at me so that the love bite I had left there was fully visible. �Don�t think you can just come over here, leave your mark and then disappear for a while. That doesn�t work with me-�

�What do you want then, Hyde? Tell me what you want,� I demanded, the lust apparent in my throaty sounding voice. Biting his lip again, Hyde nudged his knee into the bulge of my pants once more. I felt his grip loosening on my wrists so I quickly wriggled them free and grabbed his hip bones almost ravenously. Hurriedly my hands slid around to the small of his back and I began to pull him toward me.

There was a brief, somewhat awkward, moment of body shifting. Hyde clambered onto the couch as I moved to angle my body and as our breathing began to increase in pace and volume, Hyde was pushing me fully onto my back, straddling himself on top of me and bringing our faces closely together. Hyde hesitated momentarily above my mouth before his eyes closed and then he unexpectedly gingerly placed our lips together.

I had been expecting him to collide our mouths onto each others and fall back into the hungry kissing we had been doing the night before but instead he was softly touching our lips together; once, twice, then opening his mouth and taking my bottom lip in between his. We resumed the quiet yet affectionate kissing like this for a while, Hyde seemingly taking his time to enjoy my mouth before using his tongue to beg for entry. I obliged easily and our tongues began to dance with each other; mine reaching to scrape the roof of his mouth, his delving in and out around my teeth. The pleasurable sensations I was experiencing from Hyde�s slow and powerful kissing and tonguing were making me lightheaded as I lay there, my hands occasionally sliding around his back while his mouth worked pure magic.

I had always thought kissing to be a beautiful thing but Hyde�s recreation of the act was nothing like I had ever experienced from another partner. It was almost as though he�d been planning this out for a while and he knew just what to do. Our mouths working together had made this kiss feel so amazing. Hyde began to kiss me harder, nipping on me hungrily, his tongue doing the most sinful things inside my mouth; and if that wasn�t enough of a sign, he was also starting to rub his body sharply against mine. As he pushed his hips down I moaned loudly into his mouth and then he pulled away, his dark eyes staring down at me, clouded in lust.

�Hyde�� I breathed, gazing up at him. As much as I wanted to, it felt wrong to beg for him to tend to my growing need but I didn�t know if I could hold out much longer after the things he was doing with his mouth. �I�-�

�Shhhh,� Hyde hissed, taking my mouth in his as his fingers began to pull apart the buttons of my shirt. He pulled his face away from mine, moving himself slightly so that he was now sitting right over my groin as he undid the rest of my buttons. I growled in the back of my throat, wiggling my hips and causing him to grin devilishly as he pushed apart my open shirt.

He descended again, this time his tongue working in circles around my collar bone. I moved to reach between us and unhook the top of my pants and stop myself from suffocating. But Hyde�s hand quickly caught my wrist and pulled it away, gripping it tightly as he drug his tongue down my chest, moving his mouth to nibble on one of my nipples.

�Hyde--� I rasped. As I looked down at Hyde I could see a devious smirk filling his face. He was enjoying torturing me like this. He sat up and grinned at me, still holding my wrist and bringing my hand to his mouth where he began to suckle on one of my fingers. Hyde wrapped his tongue around my digit, deliberately making a popping noise when he pulled it out. As he did it again my eyes took the time to roam his body and stopped when they noticed the tight bulge through his own leather pants. With my free hand I quickly reached over and undid the top button of his pants, catching him completely off guard.

As much as I'd have loved him to continue and take care of my need, turning the tables like this made my competitive nature burst forth as I now reached for the zipper of his pants. Hyde's grip on my wrist loosened, his eyes widening as I slowly pulled the zipper down over his bulge. He let out a soft and shaky moan as I tugged the zipper all the way down. Shifting our bodies, I pushed myself up into a sitting position while simultaneously sliding Hyde down until his back was lying on the couch.

�Gacchan, you--�

�Shhhh,� I interrupted, placing my semi-wet finger over his mouth. �Me first,� I whispered. �I have to make up for the mark I left on your neck that was so traumatizing to your day��

Gently I lifted his small hips and excitedly started to pull down his black leather pants with ease, tugging them off and tossing them on the floor beside us. I smiled as I looked at him lying there in his black boxers, a contrast to the lovely hue of pink now on his face. His brown eyes were wider than normal as I slowly leaned down and kissed his stomach, my tongue jutting out to lick his belly button ring. As I slid my mouth down further with kisses, I was about to reach into his boxers when his hands grabbed firmly onto mine, stopping me.

�Gacchan, wait-� he throatily insisted. I looked up at his face which had grown a little redder with color. �Have you--?�

I knew what he was going to ask. �Yes, Hyde, I have.� I replied, giving him a kind smile. He was still looking at me anxiously. �Have you�?� I waited for a bit as he looked away from me. Chewing his lip slightly, he nodded in response before bringing his eyes to meet mine again. I gave him a soft smile and reached up to cup his reddened cheek in my hand. Hyde�s eyes fell closed and he leaned his face into my hand. I moved my face up his body and to his face, capturing his mouth in a deep kiss as my free hand reached into his boxers, gently freeing his swollen member from its bind. Hyde moaned within my mouth as my warm hands made contact with his erection.

I whispered his name with our lips just touching, giving his shaft a firm pump. But just as Hyde whimpered against my mouth, a shrill noise erupted out of nowhere.

The loud sound of my house phone ringing startled us both, and Gackt instantly turned his face away from me, letting go of my member as he looked at me with wide eyes. I took it that he didn�t recognize the noise and so I pointed over to the phone on the desk, then brought my face up to capture his reddened lips in another sensual kiss, hopefully convincing him to continue his administrations.

The phone rang again and again but Gackt was pumping his hand and tonguing my neck so I hardly noticed when it rang a fifth, then sixth time and Megumi�s voice message came over the machine��Moshi moshi, and thank you for calling. We�re both busy at the moment but you can leave a message and we�ll see to it to return your call when we have a chance. Arigatou gozaimasu!� followed by a beep and then�

�BEEP? Oh yea - HEY HYYYDE!� It was some ridiculous male drunken voice that caused Gackt and I to stop all our actions and look over to the machine. �Hyde I don�t care where you�re doing� or who you are� wait, I mixed that up� but I am coming overrr to your houssse��

Voices could be heard in the background; words of �no!� and �you�re drunk!� and something that sounded like �stimmt nicht!��

�You can�t stoooop meeee!� the first voice wailed. Finally my brain had worked around the heady blended scent of Egoiste and arousal that had been enveloping me the past few minutes and I immediately distinguished the person the voice belonged to.

�Oh shit. It�s Sakura!� I exclaimed, quickly crawling out from underneath Gackt as I awkwardly raced to the phone.

�I�m riiiight outside your dooooor now!� I was about to pick up the receiver but realized that wouldn�t do much good at this point if Sakura was literally right outside my door. And then I remembered I was half-naked.

�Shit, shit, shit!� I cursed, ineffectually trying to stuff my bobbing erection into my boxers, finding my crumpled leather pants on the ground and stumbling into them as I grabbed the nearest object to cover myself and raced to the door just as Sakura, quickly followed by Ken and Ein, tumbled into my house. �WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?� I yelled and the three of them looked up at me with their drunken mugs.

Sakura stood up, wobbled a little and then clung onto me, all his weight pushing me until my back hit the wall. He reeked of sake and vodka and beer and I tried to push him off of me but it was to no avail because he was so drunk, he was like dead weight. Ken and Ein came to my assistance to yank Sakura off but he lashed out by swinging his arms around, sending them tumbling to the ground, and then lunged for me again. I tried to move out of the way but he had me cornered into the wall once more.

�What�s this on your neck, Haido?� he slurred and leaned forward to lick the red mark left there last night from Gackt.

�Get off of me Sakura, you�re drunk,� I yelled, trying to push him away with one hand, the other hand still holding the small pillow I had kidnapped to cover myself with. Thankfully Ken and Ein were up off the floor now and pulled a stumbling Sakura away from me.

�Sorry Hyde,� Ken apologized as Ein swung Sakura�s arm around his neck to support him. �He asked if he could pick the next bar location and we said sure but I had no idea he was going to choose your house. And once we got here we couldn�t catch him fast enough before he barged in��

I just continued to stand up against the wall; my eyes wide, my hands tightly gripping the small cushion in front of myself and my poor neck feeling more violated in the past day than it had in my entire life.

�Is everything alright?� the usually quiet Ein asked as he stood holding a slumping Sakura.

�Oh? Oh yea� Yea, I�m fine.� I stuttered helplessly.

�While we�re here, can I use your crapper?� Ken asked, already starting to walk through the foyer.

Immediately I freaked out, knowing that Ken didn�t know the way around my house better than anyone else who�d been here and the chances of him stumbling across a sated Gackt lying on my couch were probably pretty damn high at the moment.

�Ach, if you�re going to do that, then let me drop Sakura off somewhere; he ist heavy!� Ein complained, dragging himself and Sakura slowly behind Ken.

�Wait-wait!� I yelled, rushing forward to stand in front of them and stop them from going any further. I probably looked damn ridiculous clutching that pillow in front of myself but I had no other choice right now, lest they wonder what the hell I�d been doing all night.

Ken gave me a peculiar glare, as though he could tell something was up and I realized my time to come up with an excuse and lead them as far away from Gackt as possible was being cut dangerously short, lest they discover the truth.

�This way�� I started, pushing them toward the grand parlor. Of all the rooms in my house, this was undoubtedly the stupidest place for me to take my 3 drunken friends right now. Ein didn�t seem to care though as he tossed Sakura, who had since appeared to have fallen asleep, on the expensive leather couch behind him. Ken scratched his head as he looked around at the blue glass collectibles and other crazy expensive items sitting around the room.

�Um, so is your toilet not working� or�?� Ken asked, still leering at me strangely.

�Oh! Right� that�.� I said, realizing that if I was going to get Ken to the bathroom, he was going to have to pass the living room. Although I had nothing against Ken knowing I associated myself with Gackt, the current situation � being my bizarre actions and a disheveled, lusty looking Gackt lounging around my house � would probably not go over so well. The only blessing right now was that Sakura seemed to have passed out. �I�ll take you there,� I concluded, reaching one arm around Ken�s back to lead him out of the room as I continued to hold the pillow in front of me.

�Hyde�� Ken started as I quickly walked him past the living room and toward the end of the hall. �What�s with the pillow?�

�Uh,� I started, shuffling my feet fast along the ground. �I found it has a hole in it and I didn�t want the stuffing to get everywhere so I�m going to fix it up.� I lied, stopping and extending my arm out to the bathroom door.

Ken stood still for a while, glaring at me with the oddest expression. �Have you been drinking too?�

�No, why?�

�Just� wondering,� he said, entering the bathroom and shutting the door. I let out a long sigh and stood there, wondering if I�d have the chance to quick check up on Gackt or at least shove him into a closet or something until my unexpected company left. I clicked my tongue as I tried to plan out the best way to successfully hide Gackt for a little while longer and not appear rude when I tossed my idiotic drunken friends out of the house.

Interrupting my thoughts, I heard a foreign voice echo through my house, �Wo bist du?� It was Ein, speaking in his native German tongue. What �wo bist du� meant, however, was beyond my knowledge. But then I saw him coming down the hallway toward me.

�Oi, where did Sakura go?� Ein asked me. I visibly paled.

�What do you mean where did he go? I thought he was passed out on the couch!� I yelled, trying not to lose control at the possibility of what was happening on the other side of my house right now.

�I vas looking at your ceramics and when I turned around, he vas gone.� Ein explained. I cursed under my breath and began making my way back down the hallway, realizing I was able to discard the pillow now as my libido had rapidly dropped due to quite a turn of events.

I was almost dead sure that Sakura would be in the one place I wouldn�t want him to be and it was without any uncertainty that I slowly let my feet lead me right to the living room. I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I might see � Sakura rudely berating Gackt, or Gackt looking flustered and uncomfortable and running away from Sakura, or maybe even the two of them just sitting there, getting along and laughing�.

All those thoughts made me shudder so I took a deep breath and rounded the corner to see�

�Sakura!� I yelled, and he turned to face me, pulling the bottle of very expensive Boudreaux from his gob. �What are you doing?� I accused, making my way toward him and taking the bottle away as he slumped down on the couch � which I noted was somehow suddenly Gackt-less.

�Good wine� good year�� Sakura replied with a crooked grin.

�Haven�t you had enough already?� I said, corking it and placing it back in the cabinet. He glanced up at me through weary eyes and I couldn�t resist going over to the couch to sit next to him. I took a minute to look over him carefully � he was still the same Sakura I remembered from way back; in his black clothes with the black silken hair� his face was a little rounder now but he was still as lovely as ever. He turned to look at me and we shared a silent moment.

Ken and Ein had been standing in the hallway looking at us and Ken coughed loudly, getting both of our attention. Sakura slowly stood up and crookedly walked his way toward them.

�Sorry, Haido�� Sakura said quietly, not bothering to turn and face me as he apologized and after Ken waved to me, they all left.

I sat alone on the couch in the silence for a good while, letting the crazed moment fade before I realized that I had no idea where Gackt had disappeared to.

With an agitated grunt, I stood up, my feet slowly shuffling me toward the door at the far end of the room. Even if I were to find Gackt now, I was too tired and frustrated (both mentally and sexually) to get back into what we had started. The continual damper of my friends always barging in at the wrong times had killed my libido�s drive.

I pushed through the swinging door that led to the kitchen to find my fridgerator wide open. Scratching my head I made my way to it when Gackt startled me as he stood up tall from behind the opened door.

�I found whipped cream in your fridge,� he said, holding up the can.

It�s no secret that I have a great love for food. And whether or not you consider whipped cream to be part of the food pyramid, combine that with my current lust for Gackt and it was enough to make my entire body spring to attention.

Had I not caught the devious grin on Hyde�s face I might have thought he was running away from the idea. But he had a most knowing smile before he dashed out of the room through the swinging door and so I pursued.

I chased him through the living room, unable to ignore the fact we were acting like horny teenagers, and followed him around the bend to the foyer and finally up the stairs.

We�re going to his bedroom, I realized and my heart began to pump all the more wildly as I clutched the can in my hands.

However, when I reached the top of the stairs, I couldn�t remember which way to go to get to his room.

�Hyyyde�� I called out, shaking the can and spraying some on my finger for a taste. �Where did you go�� The sugary flavor of the whipped cream actually made me wince a little, my teeth rejecting the sweetness. So I began to spray the whipped cream down the patch of skin between my opened shirt. �Hyde, you�re going to have to come get this whipped cream off of me!� I playfully chimed, standing at the top of the stairs as I awaited his appearance. And just in that time I heard the front door open downstairs and-

�I think I left my cellpho--oohhh my god!�

All I could see was a stunned Sakura standing in Hyde�s foyer with an expression that probably matched my own. I thought about running but at this point any dignity I had was already gone as Sakura strangely eyed my whipped-cream-covered torso.

�I�m just� gonna�.� Sakura stuttered, still standing awkwardly near the door.

I wanted to say something, to save myself, to fix the situation with a few words� but I honestly didn�t know how speaking would fix anything.

�I� guess I� drank more than I realized�. I�ll� get my phone� later�� Sakura stepped backwards as he nodded slowly to himself and disappeared out the front door

When Hyde finally appeared I told him what had happened and decided that risking a third intrusion on our attempted night of passion was not worth it right now. As soon as he heard me mention Sakura�s name he became frantic again and I didn�t know if I had the energy at this point to get us back to where we left off.

Defeated, I sat on the couch, sliding on my shoes as Hyde wiped the whipped cream from my stomach with an agitated pout. I tried not to glance down at his pants as he cleaned me up and sighed loudly, sitting back on the couch as he finished. I looked at him with a sympathetic smile and leaned in for a goodbye kiss but Hyde pulled back, saying it would be better if we didn�t.

I tried not to let his reaction bother me on my drive home.

The next four days were spent wondering why Hyde was avoiding my phone calls and feeling too insecure about dropping by his home on a whim again. Finally, I had my management ring him, since he wasn�t responding to my personal calls, and tell him that I arranged a meeting for all the key players of the movie project MOON � including him and his agent � that he was to attend in a few days. But I couldn't help but worry that things between us had started to become awkward.

I began to wonder why I had been hanging around Gackt so much � unquenchable lust notwithstanding � because it seemed that the only things I ever got out of it were headaches (and yes, I mean that in every possible meaning of the word �head�). By all rights, the only reason I should have to see him is when it came to things dealing with the movie.

After the master disaster occurred that night at my house, I had spent the entire next day searching for Sakura�s cell phone, then working out some way to get in touch with him to let him know that I found it and lastly figuring out a way to get it back to him without me having to actually stand face-to-face with him and ultimately, explain things. In the end it was all taken care of thanks to Ken, but not without an uncomfortable interrogation...

�Never, not even when the whole drug thing went down, have I seen you guys act so strangely about each other. All I got out of Sakura was that 'he saw something he�d rather not discuss'. I don�t know if I should believe him cuz you and I both know he was piss-ass drunk that night. But he�s been acting weird ever since��

Ken�s words continued to echo in my head the following day. I wanted to let time fizzle out what happened with Sakura at my house that night but part of me wished I had the balls to just tell him what was going on. I used to trust Sakura with my deepest secrets and now I couldn�t even bear to see him. I told Ken not to have him call me and that I would call him� whenever I finally built up the courage, that is.

My own cellular was ringing off the hook but I chose to ignore it and when I checked the tally of missed calls at the end of the day, the winner was Gackt with a whopping9 calls and 3 voicemails.

It�s not that I didn�t want to talk to Gackt because I knew eventually I was going to have to face the music �or should I say, the movie� and meet with him but at this point I was too nervous to be seen with him, as the last thing I wanted was another one of my friends getting insight to our secret rendezvous and the things, though really I should say lack of things, we were doing with each other. Perhaps some of the frustrations I was feeling in our �relationship� were of sexual nature. Oh hell, I know they were. Already I�d been tormented twice when my opportunity of getting down and dirty with Gackt was shattered by my intruding friends. I wondered if it wouldn�t be such a bad idea to change the locks on my door.

Another day passed and Megumi returned from her trip, praising me that the house was in such good order and that I didn�t break, bust, damage, rip, or destroy anything, surprisingly. I had paid the maids extra not to tell her that I hired them for work twice while she was gone.

As I wandered around the house, taking care of record business and other dealings with my agent, I frequently bumped into Megumi during the day and while it was somewhat nice having her presence around, I couldn�t help but feel continuously guilty of the things that had been occurring behind her back. The rational side of my brain started telling me that it would be best to end things with Gackt before they did go any further and stick strictly to the movie project.

On the fourth day since the �incident�, I received a call from Gackt�s management that I was to attend some special meeting dealing with the MOON movie. Part of me was anxious to see Gackt after such time and yet my brain battled with whether it was a pro or con that our meeting should be in the midst of 12 other men who held important functions in the ultimate process of the film. The con being that I wouldn�t be able to have any serious discussions with Gackt and tell him that we had to end this now. The pro being that at least if I got any urges to start lusting over him again, having the other men in the room would curb those feelings and hopefully help me build up the strength I was needing to eventually tell him that there could be no more between us.

I sat at the table, nervously drumming my fingers on it. From the far corner, one of the members of my camera crew, Miya, was lining up his camera to face the open, waiting, door. The MOON movie project was officially underway, now that I had all the contracts signed and I fully intended to have the entire process documented. My managers, a few key players from Nippon Crown and some head honchos from Shochiku sat at the table around me, anxiously opening and shutting their folders, flipping papers and tapping their pens.

It was unlike Hyde to be late. At least, I never assumed him to be the type to do such a thing, though as I pondered that thought, I realized that we�d never done anything with a set time, except for dinner the first time we met. And I recalled he was late for our dinner. I stood up from my chair and everyone�s heads turned to look at me. I couldn�t sit much longer, it was too nerve-racking. Just as I was pushing my chair back under the table I saw Miya raise a hand and the red light went on his camera. As I looked to the other side of the room sure enough, Hyde was just coming through the door. I rushed to his side, and just as I was leaning in I recalled the camera and turned what I had wanted to be a full embrace, into a manly sort of side hug. Hyde looked at me strangely as I did so and then angled his head away from me, noticing the camera in the corner.

�What the hell Gacchan?� he whispered.

�Don�t worry about it, just act normal,� I whispered back. I introduced the entire team to Hyde and vice versa as one of his managers stepped through the door behind us and took a seat at the table. As I went back to my chair, Hyde sat across from me and the camera man moved to capture all the action. Hurriedly I began discussing scenes and ideas for filming and Hyde interjected with his own thoughts as the men around us scribbled down everything we were saying. I announced to Hyde and the team that we had found our location and were to be filming in Taiwan. I noted Hyde�s eyes widened a little in excitement as I mentioned it while the room filled with applause. Then, I had another announcement.

�I�ve also found a director for the movie,� Everyone clapped once more. �Takahisa Zeze is the man who has agreed to film MOON.�

Hyde was about to clap, but stopped when he noticed all the shocked expressions from the men in the room and the fact that no one else was clapping. I had to admit at being a little nervous on announcing the name of the semi-famous porn director. Considering I had a tight budget for the project, having to pay for everyone to come and stay in Taiwan and act in my film, and trouble finding interest from other directors, when Zeze contacted me and agreed, I would have been ridiculous to pass him up. I met eyes with Hyde briefly and his expression indicated that he had never heard of Zeze before, especially after I saw him shrug his shoulders at me. But noticing some of the other men in the room were obviously familiar with the name and the crude movies the director was attached to, they were unsure how to react. I had to soften the blow.

�He�s also agreed to put his own additional funding into our movie project,� I said and awaited the smiles and appreciation that soon followed as some of the men stood and began to congratulate me. It�s amazing how in this business a little bit of money always works wonders. Hyde was still sitting, the moment prior seemingly confusing him as he was watching the bustle around us and the men loudly talked amongst themselves, packing up their items and bowing to me before they left. Throughout the commotion, I�d occasionally glance over at Hyde who seemed to be staring at the camera now. The camera guy asked him to give a wave but Hyde responded at him a weird look and told him to shut it off. Laughing, Miya turned off his camera and unhooked it from the tripod, taking it down to shove into its bag. As the last business suit left the room I sighed and placed my hands on my hips just as Hyde had finally decided to stand up from the table.

�Gackt-san,� I heard and Miya was soon handing me a large-lensed camera.

�What am I to do with this?� I said with a small laugh.

�Your agent told me that he thinks you should release a photobook for the project as well,� Miya said as he folded the tripod into its compact state.

�Why of course. That�s a fantastic idea,� I replied, turning the camera around in my hands. �Can I take the first photo?�

�Sure if you want,� Miya responded with a smile as he hoisted the large camera bag over his arm. I looked over to Hyde.

�What?� he said, standing behind the chair he was just sitting in. �Oh no you don�t!�

�Come on Hyde. There�s no need for formality here, I just want to take the first photo on this camera,� I pulled the lens cap off and held it up to my eye. "Help me break its virginity and give it a smile,"

�Do I look like I�m ready for a photo?� Hyde protested. As I played with a function on the camera, Hyde slipped out the door and when I looked up again, he was gone.

�Hey, get back here!� I said, heading out of the room where I found him standing up against the wall in the hallway. I stood staring at him for a while and he just looked back up at me. Slowly I lifted the camera to my eye and Hyde started shaking his head right when I took the picture.

I�ve no doubt it came out as a blur but I had no time to take another as Miya was now standing behind me to take the camera back and Hyde had slipped away down the hallway into the restroom.

�Let me know when the next big get together is so I can take more footage. I think what I got today would be good insight to the very beginnings of the project,� Miya started as I handed the camera over to him.

�Thank you Miya. It's will be a little while yet, as the next time you see me my hair will be different. I�ll send you some information on the trip to Taiwan and make sure to inform my staff you�ll be sharing the room with them,�

�Oh wow, nothing until Taiwan, ne? Well ok. By the way, Shochiku wants some footage to be documentary style to air on TV as promotion closer to the release, so I�ll have to get some interviews from you guys as well.� Miya placed the lens cap back on the camera.

�There�s plenty of time for that yet. Let�s not worry about it now. We�ll straighten the details out when we get to Taiwan,� I pat Miya on the back and he bowed to me and left. I turned to go down the hallway and popped into the restroom in search of Hyde but he had already disappeared.

It had certainly been my most formal meeting with Hyde yet, despite the fact we were dressed as casual as ever, no hair styles or make-up on our persons. Unfortunately the most contact I had from him was our awkward guy-hug when he first entered the room an hour or more ago. I began to wonder if having Miya film everything was going to put a strain on our relations. Now I was left alone in a large empty room with nothing but my cell phone. Flipping it open, I left Hyde a quiet message about how wonderful I thought he looked dressed-down today and then mentioned his amazing mouth and what it does to me before hanging up.

A few days later I had a phone message from Hyde � the first one in over a week, saying my management called his management to arrange a photoshoot of the both of us and an official statement for the magazines that we were now going to be working together on the movie. Listening to his uptight voice on my machine made me stop in my tracks, realizing that from now on, most of the time we spent together was going to be documented, photographed, and shown to the world. I tried to remain professional and think of the wonders it would do for our promotion, especially once our fans discovered the news. But deep inside, I hated the notion of broadcasting all my time spent with Hyde to the media. Already it was feeling like things between us were changing.

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