Chapter 6 ~ second thoughts, first fight

A week after the most awkward business meeting and photo shoot I�d ever had, I received a very formal-looking letter, addressed to me from Gackt. Megumi made a huge deal over its arrival and insisted on standing next to me while I opened it. I was nervous about it since I really had no idea what was inside and whether this letter from Gackt was dealing with the movie or for something personal, was unknown. I tried making several excuses about opening my mail at this time but Megumi threatened that if I didn�t do it now, she was going to.

Thankfully the letter mentioned nothing about my mouth or lips or tongue that Gackt had commented on me using so well in the voice message he recently left, but rather a formal invitation to an exclusive dinner tomorrow night to meet with the entire cast and staffing team of MOON. It was elite, stating that only the cast members were allowed and that any of our spouses or significant others were going to have to stay home. I silently thanked Gackt for making that note known on the letter, but Megumi seemed rather upset when she read it.

�Considering you talk a lot about working so closely with this Gackt fellow, I can�t help but wonder why I haven�t met him yet.� She went to the other side of the room, picking up the latest magazine from our stack of mail this morning which contained a couple small images of Gackt and I sitting together in front of a red backdrop and the words HYDE x Gackt and MOON written in big print across the one-page article spread. �Oh but I guess this is your response to that? Hideto, why don�t you ever introduce me to the people you work with?!� she bitched, tossing the magazine at me as she turned on her heel.

�You said you wanted PRIVACY in our relationship!� I yelled back as she went up the stairs. I shook my head and picked up the magazine, briefly eyeballing the photos and Gackt�s colorful quotations about how wonderful the film is going to be and how he wants everyone to open their hearts to what we are going to show and come support the film when it�s released. Blah, blah, blah.

My eyes went back to the main photo. Of the two times I�ve been officially photographed with Gackt I couldn�t help but think how unlike my rock star image I was looking now. Last time I had on some baggy trousers and a long duster sweater. This time I was wearing an old comfortable hoodie and covering my yellow locks. I started to realize that my plain imageries � the soft images for the Roentgen CD and now these dorky photos with Gackt � were not going to help my solo career pull through if I wanted to gain back my Laruku fanbase. I pulled out my phone and called the director of my Hydeist website, telling them to contact Gackt�s people and have them get me a photographer and a spot on the staff list. It was time to step up my game and involve my fans more too. If Gackt was having someone film our every move, it shouldn�t be a problem for me to have my personal photographer track me across Taiwan either.

As I hung up I realized what a promotional swing I had just put into my �summer side project with Gackt�. I worried that the more we were getting involved in this, the less it was feeling like branching out to try something new and more like a huge, desperate promotional stunt. I sighed and went back to eyeballing my formal letter.

Many of the names on this sheet were actually familiar to me; Suzuki Anne, Yamamoto Taro, Wang Lee Hom� though there was one, Takahisa Zeze, which I didn�t recognize, only heard of when Gackt mentioned him at our meeting last week. I had meant to do some research but never had the chance and figured I could ask one of the staff what the controversy was about. As much as I didn�t pay attention to the movie business all that much, the other names were popular actors and I was suddenly feeling incredibly cautious about how I�d fit in.

The next night I took a deep breath as I prepared to go out, fixing my jacket and wondering if I would either look too dressed up, not dressed enough, or simply be regarded as �that rockstar guy�. Whatever. I felt comfortable and figured you could never go wrong in all black. I stood at the doorway, checking my appearance in the mirror before heading outside to get in the limo and ride over to the Roppongi Mori Tower in uptown Tokyo to meet with Gackt and be introduced to the rest of my cast mates for the movie. I wondered if I�d have an opportunity to have a serious chat with Gackt, away from the crowd. Already I�d held these feelings in too long and didn�t want to break it to him over the phone. Maybe tonight I�d finally be relieved of the thoughts plaguing my mind.

As I rode in the limo, I kept thinking about how my life was about to change in the next two months � being around Gackt even more than I was now (and having not yet told him I want to end things), with a cast full of people I�d only ever seen through a big screen, living in Taiwan � and having a camera everywhere we went to both film and document whatever we did. Besides the uncomfortable feeling that gave me, I really didn�t know anything about Taiwan other than it had a reputation for being ungodly hot, especially in the months we were to be there (go figure). Plus my Chinese was something that I had butchered quite often in the past and I wondered how well I�d get along with my foreign cast mates and the rest of the population.

As my limo pulled up to the restaurant, I prepared myself for the possible paparazzi hanging around as I dashed into the building through the secret backdoor, riding the elevator to the upper levels and the restaurant we were to dine in. I stood in the foyer outside the restaurant, taking a deep breath and preparing myself for what ever may come next. Just as I was about to step in I felt a hand clutch tightly on my shoulder. I turned around quickly to see Gackt standing behind me; his eyes were covered with a set of dark glasses but he held his chin high as he faced forward. He had on an impressive suit, tie and all, and it made me feel severely underdressed standing next to him. But above all that the first thing I noticed was his hair � it was no longer bleached blond but tinted to an auburn hue with some blond highlights and it appeared that he had some extensions, tied neatly into colorful braids, in the back. I tried not to wince at the weird new style he was donning but admitted in my head that it would definitely take some time to get used to.

In our close proximity, I could smell his Egoiste fragrance, appearing to be piled on stronger than usual, and tried to ignore the intoxicating effect it had on me.

�Why don�t we enter the room together, Hyde,� Gackt said, enunciating his words slowly.

�Ok�� I responded and started to step forward, but Gackt kept his hand firmly on my shoulder and prevented me from getting anywhere.

�Wait� I want to make sure everyone is seated so we can make a grand entrance.� He replied, turning his chin up even more at the statement. I started to wonder what was going through his mind right now as I decided to pull out my own sunglasses to shield my eyes as well. As we stood there, looking like the Men in Black, I calmed my breathing again as Gackt pulled open the door and we stepped through it together.

As Hyde and I walked side-by-side through the giant crystalline doors of the Roppongi Mori Tower�s finest restaurant on the 48th floor, I felt a great swell of pride when my fellow cast mates and staff turned to look at us. I walked smoothly across the ground, feeling as though I was floating toward them and I noted Hyde next to me walking as casual and cool as he always appeared.

Wang Lee Hom stood up first and started to clap, causing a chain reaction as the rest of the cast members across the table mimicked his actions. Hyde and I bowed to them and then took our seats, me next to Wang Lee Hom and Hyde next to Zeny Kwok. I heard him say hello to her and she responded quietly as I began to engage in simple Chinese with Lee Hom. Across from Hyde sat our director Zeze-san and then Taro was across from me. I was happy with the placement since these were the people I was going to be spending most of my screen time with.

As I sat there, I couldn�t help but be reminded how You-kun turned down the offer to attend, even after I thought I had convinced him to join us. Even though he had a minor part in the film, he was an important member of the cast and I wanted him to be there, even if just for support more than anything. The vibes I had been feeling from Hyde lately were less than friendly and when I tried to discuss it with You, he wasn�t much help, stating that he told me not to get involved from the start and I should have listened to him.

Everyone at the table engaged in friendly conversation except for Hyde who couldn�t seem to correctly communicate with Zeny�s very limited Japanese. He tried to open dialogue with the director, but Zeze is a quiet man so it didn�t go very far. Finally we were served our meals which allowed everyone to escape the early awkward stage of our meet and greet and busy themselves with their food. Throughout the meal I caught most of the staff giving Hyde awkward glances. I tried to ignore it.

My mind was also circling around the fact that I was determined to get some alone time with Hyde tonight. His avoidance of my phone calls had been nothing short of aggravating but it wasn�t something I could bring up in front of the crew. I purposely neglected to invite Miya and his all-documenting camera to our dinner this evening, noting that it would likely feel intrusive as we tried to get to know each other. As our seats were being cleared and we awaited desert, Taro opened conversation with Hyde.

�You�re so quiet, Hyde. I expected you to be loud and obnoxious,� Taro said with a grin.

�Odd, that�s what I was expecting from you,� Hyde quipped.

�You�re so much different in person than you appear on the WOWOW channel,� Taro replied, ignoring Hyde�s stab back at him. �Not to mention shorter.�

As I sipped on my sake, nonchalantly watching them interact, I noticed Hyde�s jaw tighten at the jab of his height.

�I mean, you look short on screen too,� Taro unnecessarily continued, �But when you walked in with Gackt I was really surprised how tiny you are-�

�Everyone looks small around me,� I interrupted, causing them to look over at me as they realized I was listening in on their conversation.

�So how are our Taiwan room arrangements going to be? Do I get to share a room with Zeny? Or maybe chibi here, I wouldn�t mind that.� Taro said, pointing at Hyde before leaning his elbows on the table as he turned his attention to me. I heard Hyde growl under his breath.

�Hyde won�t be sharing his room with anyone, except for maybe me occasionally,� I replied casually with a grin, and noticed out of the corner of my eye how red Hyde�s face quickly became. Taro�s mouth formed an �O� and he laughed in jest.

�So that�s how you get top bill! I knew I was sleeping with the wrong people all along!� Taro replied through his laughter. Hyde jumped slightly in his seat and I guessed from Taro�s face that he had kicked him from under the table.

�Hyde, laugh with us,� I said, nudging Hyde with my elbow, hoping he wasn�t offended at what I said.

�Can�t you even take a joke?� Taro asked him, pouring a small cup full of sake and holding it out for Hyde. �Or maybe you need more alcohol in your system, here,�

Hyde ignored Taro. �Wait, wait, I�m top bill? Gackt, why isn�t your name first?� he asked, looking up at me in confusion.

�I told you, you�re the star. You�re my vampire Kei � you have the most prominent role in this film,� I replied in earnest.

�But--� Hyde seemed to want to argue it but he wasn�t sure what to say. Taro was now leaning over the table, practically spilling the sake into Hyde�s mouth.

�Geez, didn�t you hear him? You�re the star! It�s not a bad thing, trust me!� Hyde took the sake cup from Taro and sat it down in front of him.

�Excuse me,� Hyde said, standing from the table to leave. I watched him go, confused at his strange reaction as Taro reached back over and took the warm sake, downing it quickly.

�Ok for real though � do I get to share a room with someone or what?� Taro�s loud voice interrupted me from watching Hyde leave. �Taiwan is far away from home and a guy can get lonely. Some of your staff members are quite pretty�� His voice faded away as he looked around the table.

Despite how honest or teasing Taro was being, all I could think of at that moment was Hyde and how perhaps this would be my chance to get some time away with him. Politely I excused myself from the table and made my way out, trying to wager where Hyde went off to. I decided to check the men�s room first.

Sure enough as soon as I entered, there was Hyde; his hands on the sink as he gazed at his reflection in the mirror.

�Doushita no?� I quietly asked from my position near the door. Hyde didn�t respond, just continued to stare at his mirrored image. I walked to him, moving until he could see my face in the mirror also. �Hyde� please talk to me. I don�t understand your actions as of late,�

He sighed and moved away, going to the far end of the restroom to lean on the wall near the window and pushing it open slightly to let in some cool air.

I had to pursue. �I�ve barely seen you this last week and in those times I did, you�ve been stand-offish toward me. Is it something I did? Surely you must have something to say to me, it�s been so long sin-�

�I have lots I need to say to you,� Hyde interrupted, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and sticking it in his mouth. �I just� don�t know how to start.� He lit his cigarette and exhaled the first puffs of smoke out the small slot from the window. �And I�m not sure now is the time or place,�

�Then when?� I asked, stepping closer to him and trying to hold back my anger over his attitude toward me. �You don�t answer my phone calls and you never meet with me anymore unless it�s related to the movie. So when is the time and place then Hyde?�

�Look,� Hyde started, standing up straight. �I�m here because of the movie, ok? I�m in the movie and you�re in the movie, therefore we�re together right now. But outside of this movie stuff��

I swallowed the huge lump that had formed in my throat as he spoke. The way Hyde was just talking, it sounded as though�

�There is no �US� Gackt, okay? I can�t do that. I�m� I�m married and I have a career to uphold and� I just can�t.� I noted Hyde�s hand shaking as he moved to take another drag from his cigarette.

Inside my heart started to break but I tried to remain calm on the exterior. Just as I was about to retaliate with something, the door opened and Zeze walked in, eyeing us strangely. I bowed to him and moved to the sink, pretending to wash my hands as the director disappeared into a stall.

Hyde continued to smoke casually at his spot near the window. I could sense in the eager way he was inhaling and exhaling from the cigarette that his nerves were on edge. I wanted to toss the cigarette out and take Hyde's small body in my arms, hugging him and telling him that we could be together, that we would work things out�

I walked over to the paper towel dispenser near Hyde�s side and tried to approach the subject calmly as I spoke softly. �I�m sorry you feel that way. But even so, you�re still my friend, Hyde. And friends don�t ignore their friends phone calls,� I quietly berated him as I dried my hands.

�Well friends don�t leave their friends voice messages about tonguing each other either!� Hyde bit as he whispered at me just as Zeze was exiting the stall and giving us another peculiar glance. I smiled at Zeze as he went to wash his hands and then the short director quickly ducked out.

I turned back to Hyde. �At the very least, you could at least tell me why this sudden change came over you. A week ago you couldn�t keep your hands off of me and now-�

�It�s reality Gackt, ok? A week ago I was alone in my house and this movie project was nothing but my word and my name on a slip of paper. Now my wife is back and the whole of Japan knows there�s a movie coming and there are cameras following us around! My friends are starting to make assumptions.� Hyde yelled, keeping his tone at a minimum.

�Assumptions.� I spat. �Like what, that you hang out with me? That you kiss me like no one has ever kissed me before? That you wanted me to get you off?� Hyde�s face was coloring but I wasn�t sure if it was from what I was saying or because he was becoming angry. �I�d say those are valid assumptions, what with the way you move those hips.�

�We were fucking drunk,� he retorted, burning up the last of his cigarette.

�Not the last time we weren�t. And if it weren�t for these friends of yours I can imagine things would have gone a lot further--�

�Well I�m glad they didn�t! Don�t you see Gackt? We�re men with highly successful careers. This movie is going to promote the shit out of us and the media is going to spotlight our lives more than it ever has- ever. I can�t risk being seen with you, much less doing THAT.� Hyde finished, tossing his cigarette stub out the window and pushing it shut. �Whatever you may have thought we had is over.�

Hyde pushed past me roughly, leaving me to stand alone in the smokey restroom.

I couldn�t decipher whether the movie dinner was a success or a failure.

In my own mind, it was a success because I finally had the guts to tell Gackt we were through. Though I was hardly expecting to get into such an argument in the bathroom of all things. I was hoping to simply pull him aside at the end of the night and explain that we had to end it for our own sake. Somehow he walked in on me angsting in the restroom and we got into a battle of words.

Regardless of the way it went down, I told Gackt we were over. Since that had been my goal from more than a week ago, I considered that a success.

The failure part comes in because after our argument took place, Gackt acted so unlike himself that even the new cast members noticed it. He was giving people short and sometimes snippy-sounding answers to their serious questions about the film. I noticed that Gackt did try to remain professional but that�s about all there was to it. His usual caring nature was gone, probably drowned beneath the sake he kept drinking throughout the night.

I had never felt so uncomfortable being with him (and yes, that includes the times I was near-naked in his presence) because I couldn�t help but feel responsible for his sudden mood swing. As the party drew to an end, I excused myself early, making up the excuse that I had important work to tend to early in the morning. Everyone kindly said their goodbyes and that they were anticipating meeting me again. Everyone, except for Gackt.

Riding in the limo I tried to push away how badly it was bothering me that Gackt didn�t even say goodbye. He was angry, he was probably somewhat drunk� but he said earlier that night that he wanted to still be friends so his complete ignorance of my departure pissed me off. I leaned my head on my shoulder to catch some rest on the ride home but as I did, I was instantly alerted of the familiar, stimulating scent of Gackt�s Egoiste cologne, probably somehow left from his intense grip on my shoulder at the start of the night.

I inhaled deeply, enjoying the fragrance so much that I tried to will my brain to associate the scent with something other than Gackt. But its intense aroma left me no choice, as all I could picture whenever I smelled it was his full lips on mine, his warm hands on my body, his eyes baring into my soul�

I shook myself out of the trance, cracking open the window to let some fresh air in and drive the heady perfume out of my nostrils. But I was already too affected by my own devious thoughts, so much that I began having the slightest feelings of regret for what I said to Gackt tonight�

No. I have to be strong. It�s ridiculous to think anything between us should ever work. I tried to think of all the times we�d been interrupted from taking things further and how they were pointing at me like some glaring neon sign and that it was time I adhered to it. No. No more. All there is now is this movie. This movie which is going to skyrocket my stardom. This movie which is going to grow me a huge fanbase and sell my records better than ever...

This movie which is going to really test my endurance to resist Gackt.

His fingers trailing through my hair was a numbing sort of relaxation, allowing me to forget my problems and unwind.

�Are you excited to go to Taiwan?� he quietly asked as I lay with my head on his lap, his hand stroking my head and his fingers tangling in my hair. My eyes remained shut and I focused on the sensations. �Gakkun?�

�Yes. Yes I am excited, You-kun,� I finally responded. �Are you?�

�I�ve never been to Taiwan, so yes.� He replied, pushing the bangs out of my eyes, even though they fell right back into place there. �Although it�s going to be really strange, being there for a week to film scenes and then leaving you there for the next two months on your own,�

�I�ll hardly be on my own,� I said with a smile. �My staff will be there and all the cast members��

�And Hyde.� You interjected, his hands stopping. �Are you sure you�re going to be okay?�

I sat up slowly, and You brushed the hairs from my face, taking time to fix the side of my hair that I had been lying on. �You-kun, I�ll be fine. I�ve been dreaming of this movie for so long, not to mention Hyde�s role in it. I�m sure within time he will realize this and we�ll become close friends again,�

�And not something more than that?� You asked, a strange tone to his voice. I gave him a look as I stood up from the couch.

�Hyde has made it very clear where he stands,� I started, stretching my arms upward. I headed out of the break room and back into the recording studio.

�Yes, where he stands but what about you?� You began, following me into the large padded room.

I simply glanced at him as he entered the room, then picked up my acoustic guitar and placed it in its carry bag. �I should really get going, I have to meet up with the director at the Shochiku Studios.� As I hoisted the strap over my shoulder, You came to my side.

�I�m sorry I didn�t go with you to the dinner last night. But I am always here to talk if you need anything, you know that.� You gave me a small smile.

�Always?� I repeated, raising my eyebrows as I looked at him.

�I�m sorry I wasn�t more helpful before. I just don�t want to see you get hurt, Gakkun. I�m only looking out for-�

�-my best interests, I know.� I said, completing his sentence. I leaned forward and You-kun gave me a hug, careful not to disrupt the guitar bag slung around my shoulder.

Sitting in my car as I drove to the studio, I couldn�t help but be plagued with thoughts of Hyde. But they weren�t happy times, like the script reading or the cigarette sharing or the bodily groping. Instead all I could see was his cold eyes looking at me and telling me �whatever you may have thought we had is over�.

It wasn�t a pleasant memory, unlike the others I would have rather been imagining, where Hyde was always warm to hold and soft-mouthed to feel, with big, soul-searching eyes. In these visions his stance was unwelcoming, his mouth was sharp, and his eyes were soulless. He felt so very unlike the lovable Hyde I had grown to care so much for and more like the hard-faced rockstar Hyde I had seen in the magazines and on the stage.

I hated whenever thoughts of my dream movie turning into a huge promotional stunt invaded my mind and right now they were entering that territory. Granted there was no denying what amazing success the film would bring to us, regardless of its box office takings, but my goal of working closely alongside Hyde being seen as some gigantic push to publicize who we were was not the way I wanted to envision things.

But Hyde�s current disposition toward me was making it feel that way.

I couldn�t help but think of the prickly words we exchanged in the restroom the night prior, myself never expecting to ever get into such an argument with Hyde. Especially not over a relationship that had barely begun. I tried to reason that he was just feeling cautious because of all the things that had happened around us. Naturally I, and most of the country, tended to neglect his wife altogether so I hadn�t given it thought to being a selling point in the reasons we couldn�t be together. And his friends barging in at the most inopportune times wasn�t showing much promise toward our eventual consummation, but I didn�t ever think those things would cause Hyde to suddenly see me as nothing but a co-star.

The thought of relating ourselves as nothing but two big stars who just happened to work together on a movie sent shudders through my body. Not only would it be bad for promotional reasons, as much as I hated to think of it that way, but it was also going to show quite vividly on the film between our characters Sho and Kei. And that was something I couldn�t possibly sacrifice.

I made it up in my mind at that moment that I was going to have to patch things up with Hyde somehow, even if we simply became nothing more than friends. He already shot down my dream for having him all to myself and that was something I was going to have to accept, but I would not settle for less than friendship. We needed that, at the very least. Not only would it bring some peace to my soul, but it was also for the sake of the movie.

A mere few hours before I was about to leave for Taiwan and I was suddenly having more second-thoughts than ever.

The last time I remembered being this nervous about something was the day of my wedding, but I couldn�t back out because I was technically contractually obliged, both by the license we had signed that morning and the fact that my management would have my head if I ran the other direction from this supposed 'promotional gold'. Ugh, if only I knew then what I know now�

And now yet again I was bound to this marriage of sorts with Gackt�s movie by a damn slip of paper containing my name and my agent looming over me with dollar-signs in his eyes. He was continually convincing me that this was going to be fantastic for my career, especially with my Hydeist photographer following me around everywhere I went. But the fact that not only was I going to have my own photographer, but also Gackt�s photographers and rolling cameras following my every move was enough to make me queasy in the stomach.

Naturally being in the limelight was nothing new for me. Having cameras trail me was nothing new either. It was the prospect of being away for a summer and trying something new, that could help to make or break my solo career (regardless of what my agent said) and having all of that documented that bothered me. Not only that, but the fact that most of the time, Gackt was going to be at my side.

Even though we �broke up� (and I use the term mildly) more than a week ago, I couldn�t stop thinking about him. Of course it didn�t help that every other phone call or interview I was involved in brought up the topic, but even on my own time and especially in my dreams, Gackt was there. Yes, my dreams. And yes, they were those kind of dreams. You can�t really blame me though, given the fact that I�d had his groin shoved into mine on more than one occasion.

I knew that it was only a short while now (7 hours, 3 minutes and 19 seconds� um, judging by the clock) until I was going to be face-to-face with him again and just the thoughts of how awkward we might be around each other were causing my stomach to flop. I didn�t want things to be awkward between us. I just didn�t quite want to reach that comfort level that would possibly make me want to elevate things to something serious again.

But then what ever caused me to react that way in the first place? Before I associated myself with Gackt all I knew was that he appeared to be a media whore with a few good songs, an amazing body that just had to be fake, and frankly, someone I would never picture myself in the same room with for more than five minutes without going insane.

And yet in the short while of being around him I quickly changed all that to realizing that he really knew his stuff when it came to promotion, he had an amazing repertoire of songs with gorgeous lyrics, a killer body that was totally all his, and he was someone that I would trade anything to spend just another five minutes in the presence of.

Especially if those few minutes involved his mouth on mine or his hands on--

My agent called me out for daydreaming again and I apologized, saying that I probably needed a break and after donning some dark sunglasses and a jacket much too warm for this time of year, I went downtown to the coffee shop and ordered a latte.

Considering I had told Gackt that I was in this just for the movie now, I was going to have to stop having these mid-day fantasies involving him and other parts of his body. The brief teases of visual pleasure were killing my attention span and if I was to be of any use on a movie set, I was going to have to learn to focus.

No doubt that was going to prove to be hard (no pun intended). This was going to be more difficult than it already was considering that in about six hours I�d always be a mere few feet away from the man invading my very thoughts. As I returned to my agent�s office, we went over the last of the work he wanted to cover and he let me go, telling me to �be good in Taiwan�.

I traveled home, finishing up the rest of my latte during the drive, and making a few calls to friends like Tetsu and Yuki to say my goodbyes. I delayed calling Ken at first, wondering if he would be in the presence of Sakura, and therefore making my conversation feel formal rather than friendly since Ken almost always put me on speaker phone (something I really wish he'd stop, as it's created many awkward situations in the past) but thankfully he was alone at the time. But he did tell me that Sakura was acting like himself again and said that he'd really love for me to give him a call sometime.

I pondered the sincerity of Sakura's statement and even considered giving him a call but I was already practically home so I made a mental note to weigh the option later. As I returned home, I shuffled my way up the stairs when I found Megumi in my room.

�What are you doing?� I asked, wondering why she was in there since I always told her to stay away from my personal space.

�I�m packing your things, Hideto,� she remarked, folding some of my clothes and stuffing them into a suitcase.

I glanced into the luggage to find half my wardrobe sitting neatly inside. �Jesus, how the hell did you fit all of that in there?�

�Packing is an art,� she said, neatly stuffing another item of mine into the suitcase with ease. I guess she should know, considering how often she disappeared from the house for days or weeks at a time. �I figured I�d help you out some.�

I couldn�t deny being impressed and also relieved that she saved me nearly all the trouble of having to do such an act myself. But two months is a long time to be away so I wondered if Megumi had some other intentions behind all of this. I sat on my messy, un-made bed and watched her place the rest of my jeans into the suitcase before she stepped back and sighed in accomplishment.

�Ok, so what do you want?� I asked as she stood there, hands on her hips.

�What do you mean?� she asked, eyeing me strangely.

�There�s no reason you�d suddenly be all nice like this without wanting something out of it. Is there some kind of really expensive jewelry made in Taiwan that you need or something?� I droned, standing up from the bed and shutting the lid of the suitcase.

�Hideto! Firstly, I am your wife so it is my job to do things like this for you,� she said with a sweet smile, moving to step closer to me. It is? Then why haven�t I taken advantage of it before?! �Secondly, I don�t know if there is a special Taiwanese jewelry but if there is I�m sure you�d buy me some as a souvenir anyway, wouldn�t you?� She wrapped her hands around my waist and batted her eyes at me. I cocked an eyebrow.

�And lastly,� she continued. �You�re going to be gone for two months. I have total reign over this house without your imbecile friends barging in or your drunken parties destroying my living room, or your deafening guitar and unruly singing to interrupt my book reading. That�s a treat in and of itself,� She grinned.

I pulled away from her fake embrace with a sneer, turning to zip up the luggage. �Yea well enjoy your time alone.�

�And you enjoy your time with Gackt,� she said with a small giggle. I spun around to look at her.

�What? What do you mean by that?�

�Nothing,� she said, her face looking surprised from my stunned reaction. �But how many people get to go on vacation to a lovely beach locale with the infamous and gorgeous Gackt? Thousands of fangirls would kill to be you right now. And probably some fanboys too...�

�Yea, well it�s not going to be all fun and games and romps on the beach,� I started, chiding myself inwardly at use of the term �romp� as I pulled the heavy suitcase off my bed where it landed on the ground with a thump. �We�re also filming a movie by the way�remember?� I went to the end of the room, grabbing my acoustic guitar case and making sure I had several picks in store.

�Taiwan is so humid right now. Are you going to be okay with all that heat?� she asked, almost derogatorily, following me as I wheeled the luggage out of my room.

�Well I�m just going to have to deal with it,� I responded, stopping as I reached the top of the stairs. �But then I�m used to having to deal with things I can�t stand so it shouldn�t be anything new.� Megumi narrowed her eyes at me as I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the limo driver to come get my stuff. I snapped the phone shut and turned to face my wife. �Try not to bother me with meaningless things while I�m gone. Meaning, don�t call me.� I said.

She protruded her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. �What if something important happens? Like someone should happen to destroy your precious guitars?� I saw an evil glare in her eyes.

�If anybody does that I will personally kill them when I come back. But they�ll have to await their death. Because as of now,� I started, putting on my sunglasses. �I am officially on vacation,� I stomped down the stairs carrying my guitar case just as my limo driver entered and passed me on his way up, grabbing my suitcase and bringing it down with him.

�Don�t you fool around in Taiwan, Hideto!� Megumi yelled after me as I exited the door.

Fool around? Well it was a novel idea, what with being away from the ball-and-chain in another country for a couple of months. And it�s not like it was something that hadn�t crossed my mind, both when I was �with� Gackt and even now in our separation, given that he was continuously filling my mind with thoughts of things we did and the possibility of where those things could have gone�

But no, I had already sworn off any sort of interaction with Gackt that was beyond what was required for me for the movie.

Although, maybe this is where I should mention that I finally got around to researching Zeze-san, our fearless director. Apparently the guy does have a reputation that his fans are quite pleased with but� well, how do I put this. He�s not exactly your average director. His films are the ones you�d find in the back rooms of movie stores � you know, when you go to the far corner and through the dark curtains that have the giant �H� above them. As in H for Hentai.

Zeze-san is an ecchi film director. A man who makes PORN films. This was the director of our movie.

Perhaps it�s a good thing I wasn�t talking to Gackt at this time. When I made the discovery I was so appalled I ended up breaking the thing nearest my laptop and had Gackt been around visiting as he used to, it�s very possible I would have injured him. Severely.

The awkward reactions of the business men in that meeting a week ago had suddenly made sense to me. I knew the script pretty well by now, having worked on and edited it myself, and despite the gay undertones and subtext laced between Sho and Kei�s relationship (which gave me a weird feeling every time I imagined Gackt sitting in his dark house writing this story like some sad fanfiction author) there wasn�t any calling for any such scene that Zeze-san excelled at.

All I could do was ignore the small knot in my stomach and push off the disturbing thoughts that the script had changed under the hands of our director to include a lusty moment of groping and whorish moaning and sticky substances between Sho and Kei in an attempt to rekindle their unorthodox relationship.

Funny, how sometimes the characters lives were not all that far from a mirrored image of Gackt and I. Not that I expected to rekindle anything between us quite to that level but the fact that I was going to be away from my wife and my friends and virtually everyone who knew me to hang around Gackt and his damned amazing smelling Egoiste cologne and be in the heat of Taiwan which would likely present opportunities for less clothing and many more sights of Gackt�s amazing body�

I rested in the back of the limo trying to ignore my sexually active brain as we neared the airport, placing a hat on my head to cover my freshly re-dyed blond locks. Many things were going to change in a matter of hours.

And fooling around in Taiwan? As much as I was telling myself �no�, if it was to happen, well, that was yet to be seen�

I looked out the window of my private jet as the scenery of Taiwan was coming into view. It looked absolutely gorgeous, more than I could have imagined it being this time of year, and my stomach fluttered in anticipation.

I knew that a few of the other cast members and staff would be arriving today as well and I was excited to meet with everyone again. But none more than Hyde.

I hadn�t seen him nor spoken with him since our falling out at the cast dinner a week ago and all day I had been practicing things to say to him to help �break the ice�, as it were. It felt like we were starting all over again and yet the first time I met him I wasn�t feeling anywhere near this anxious.

As we descended I grabbed my small carry-on bag and stepped off the plane, filling my lungs with a deep breath of Taiwanese air. The weather was warm of course, the humidity instantly filling my pores and creating a cave of heat around my body. I followed the staff to the hotel, who had called ahead to check us in so I could slip by and get to the safety of my room with no one noticing. Although the media was aware we were to begin filming soon, exact dates and locations were not disclosed in hopes of avoiding the stalking paparazzi for a few more days.

My room was fairly large, having the upper corner suite on the top level. The �living space� was decent, with two couches and a nice long coffee table. I sat my guitar on the one couch and dropped some essentials � cigarettes, water, and phone � on the table in front of it as I left to check out the balcony. After opening the curtains and the large glass doors, I stepped outside onto the balcony, back into the heat of the country and took in my new surroundings that would become a familiarity in the next two months. From below I could faintly hear children running around, cars passing by and yet in the warm breeze there was a peacefulness that seemed to exist around me. I went back inside, and picked up my phone, wondering if Hyde had arrived yet and pondering if I should bother calling him to find out.

Hyde�s room was directly below mine. I would have liked to have him right next door but there was only one master suite on this floor and I wanted him to be granted with his own suite for our long stay.

Ideally, we would have shared this room together. I tried to shake the thought, telling myself that I would feel cramped with the two of us living in it and I�d hate to have stupid little quarrels just as any two people who are constantly around each other end up doing.

But really I would welcome even that at this point. At least it would be some form of interaction. I hadn�t heard from Hyde in the past week and was too humble to bother calling him on my own accord. I had my management contact him for any information regarding the Taiwan trip and movie project, especially because I wasn�t even sure if he would answer my calls.

I wondered if he would answer my call now; now that I was in Taiwan in my hotel room and he was too, or would be shortly. One nice thing about being in charge of the production was that I had a list of everyone�s schedules so I knew everything that was happening at every time during the length of our stay here. I picked up Hyde�s call sheet (which was actually several sheets long) and noted the time so I finally swallowed my nerves and dialed his number.

On the other end, it rang.

And then it rang again. And again, and again...

I started to give up hope that he was going to pick up when I heard a knock at my hotel door. Snapping my phone shut with a huff I walked to the front door and pulled it open.

�Gacchan��