The text on Jacob's eyes reads "Jacob has the most amazing brown eyes. I can just sit and stare into them. All our family has always had blue eyes and I'm just not used to seeing such brown eyes. They're also just so full of mischief. They smile, they tease, they flirt, and when he's sad they're oh so sad.
The text on "What I Want To Be When I Grow Up" reads "I've always felt like I'm still a kid inside. I don't know if I'll ever feel like the grown up adult person I think I should feel like. When I do grow up, I want to be the mother that my daughter Angel has grown to be. I've always felt that my kids, even though they're grown now, got cheated in the mother department. My daughter is the mother I always wanted to be. She's a warm, beautiful, loving, strong, compassionate, mature, determined, focused, playful young woman She makes sure her children have what they need, both materially and emotionally. She thinks about her children's feelings as well as their needs. She explains things to my grandchildren that I just took for granted my children knew. She's already taught 8 year old Kayla about the heartache drugs bring into a life and I don't think I ever discussed drugs with my children. No one will ever know how ashamed I feel about that. She's taught her about compassion, about how we can see the good in bad situations. She teaches her to have good self esteem and while I tried to instill this in my children I don't think I quite made it. I had low self-esteem -I didn't know how to help my kids achieve it.Yet Angel seems to have found it on her own and taught it to her daughter. I have so much love and respect for my daughter, the mother. Even though my kids are grown, I hope one day I can be the mother my daughter is. Angel, I love you so very much, and I'm so very, very proud of you.
The text on You Decorated My Life just tells about my sig that he had made into a tattoo. It says "I learned a graphics program and made this signature picture. Mike liked it so much he decided to have a tattoo of it. He took the picture in to the tatoo artist and he made it for him. We're so goofy, we can be in the same room, 6 feet away from each other, on 2 different computers and we send Instant Messages to each other."
On We Just Love Being Together, it says "We sometimes fish at Whippernock Marina. Mike loves to fish. I love just being with him. It's good quality time together. Lots of times we just get in the car to go for a ride and end up in the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We just ride down, look around, eat, and come back. We have each others undivided attention."
The text on Dazed and Confused says "The Davids watched that movie over and over and over. It was fun having them live with us.It was comical when girls would call the house for them. If we couldn't tell who they were, or which David they were calling we'd ask "which one?"They often didn't know the last names or why we were asking them such a question. I think my David was about 19 or 20 at the time and Mike's David was about 13 or 14, so we'd then ask them "how old is the David you're calling?" That really confused them. And then of course, add to the picture that Mikes' David also had a friend named David, his stepdad is also named David,as is my David's dad. Plus Mike's middle name is David, as is Jacob's, our grandson. On Pickford, it says "This was my David's second car, a Maverick, but it was one that was very, very special to him. He bought it for about $400 and babied that thing. I can't remember where the name Pickford came from; I think it was from that movie, Dazed and Confused. It seems when he lost that car, things just kinda went downhill for him. I hope that's going to change very soon."
The text for I Hope You Dance says "David and I leave messages for each other on the bathroom mirror. We write in the steam on the mirror after our showers and then when the other takes their shower the message shows up in the steam on the mirror. I've really missed my messages and I'm really looking forward to seeing them again." I also have the words to the song "I hope you dance". On the left side it says "Daivd and I have had this little thing going for years. I don't remember who started it. It looks rude, but it's really a show of endearment. We stick our tongues out at each other and then look away so the other can't do it back at us. Sometimes Mike will join in but usually it is just me and David." Then I have a picture of him with the opacity lowered and the poem "Letting Go" printed on it. The words are.. To �let go� does not mean to stop caring, it means I can�t do it for someone else. To �let go� is not to cut myself off, it�s the realization I can�t control another. To �let go� is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To �let go� is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands. To �let go� is not to try to change or blame another, it�s to make the most of myself. To �let go� is not to care for, but to care about. To �let go� is not to fix, but to be supportive. To �let go� is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To �let go� is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To �let go� is not to be protective, it�s to permit another to face reality. To �let go� is not to deny, but to accept. To �let go� is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To �let go� is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it. To �let go� is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future. To �let go� is to fear less and love more. Author unknown
Then the text on Makeup? What Makeup? says "Kayla has always gotten into her mama's stuff and her favorite find of all has always been makeup. On this day she'd found some pretty lipstick. As much as she tried to sound serious and discipline her, Angel couldn't help but see the humor in this situation and take the picture. It has given us many laughs since then. This was sometime in 1996. And Kayla, now 8, still loves makeup, whether she's making up herself or somebody else."
I did the page about Hurricane Isabel a few days after it happened. I was so full of rage and anger. I had to have some way to deal with it. I wrote my feelings down while in my booth that night. They were full of anger and fear, just ramblings of a frightened woman, trying to get through a scary situation. I tucked those pages behind the journaling for this page. I haven't decided yet whether to post that text or not. But the text on this page was a little more rational. It says "Hurricane Isabel�. we�ll never forget her. We knew that the coast would be hit hard, but I have never believed that we could get that much damage this far inland. At work they assured us, we�re just going to have wind, rain and flash floods. We�ve had that before, no big deal. So, when it came time to go to work Thursday, 9/18/03, I didn�t think twice about going. I figured if it got too bad, surely they�d bring us in. I�m a toll collector for the state of Virginia. I figured of all the VDOT values, Safety First is the main one. So, I trusted that we�d be safe. That trust was misplaced. I got into my booth on a ramp at about 1:45, relieving the first shift collector a few minutes early so she could get a head start before the weather got bad. I had my radio set to the local TV station to hear the latest on the weather. There was all day broadcasting about the storm, now predicting it would be the worst storm in Central Virginia in so many years. Still, I figured when it got too bad they�d tell us to come on in. I sat there, afraid and worried about my family, about myself, about all of us toll collectors. We are considered essential personnel, expected to come in during inclement weather. I�ve always accepted that. But still I trusted. At about 6:00pm I noticed a big piece of metal flapping in the wind on one of the approximately 20 feet tall columns holding up the canopy above the booths. I called and reported it. I thought for sure they�d say �okay, it�s too dangerous now, come on in�. No, I was wrong. Then a tall tree fell. I screamed. One of the supervisors was coming to give breaks to all on the ramps, �cause the smart people didn�t come to work, and we were short several people. He called and told the other supervisor the tree fell. Still nothing. Then when I came off my break another tree fell. Still no closing. I sat there very much afraid. I felt stupid for not calling in and saying �I don�t care, I�m leaving.� Then we lost power. Still no closing. Then I couldn�t even hear the news. They�d been saying trees are falling everywhere. Hundreds of people are without power. At the end, almost 2 million people from northern North Carolina and all of Virginia lost power. I also found out later that VDOT pulled their road crews off the road at 7:00. But we were still out there. The governor was on TV telling everyone to please stay home, stay off the roads. He asked that we use a voluntary 8:00 curfew. Yet toll collectors are sitting out in booths. Finally at 7:30 they called and said okay, close up and come on in. All the time I�d been sitting there afraid I wrote. I wrote about all the fear I was feeling and also all the anger I was feeling at my superiors for leaving us out there for so long. And you know, we got overtime for those hours because state offices were closed. And the governor will send us a nice letter and a hat and a pin. Well, sorry, but that just doesn�t cut it. Who wants it? I TRUSTED THEM!!! I trusted them to put my safety above collecting that almighty quarter. Am I angry? Hell, yeah, I�m angry. When I finally got home, after the scariest drive of my life, we had no power for 4 days, some still have no power after 7 days. Six trees had fallen in my yard, one falling on the garage while Mike was in there putting something in to keep the wind from catching it. Then to add insult to injury, for some, we had a tornado yesterday morning. Some people had regained their power, only to lose it again from the tornado. No, I don�t think we�re likely to forget Isabel."