"Blair, stay where you are!" Jim's heart nearly stopped when he finally saw Blair in the distance. After searching for hours, to be able to see Blair again was nearly enough to drive him to his knees in relief.
"Blair, wait for me. I'm right behind you." Jim hesitated a moment in confusion. He could tell by the sudden acceleration in Blair's heartbeat that the younger man had heard him, but Blair didn't slow down to wait for him, he didn't even turn around to meet him half way, Jim realized with confusion that Blair was quickening his step.
Jim could hear Blair murmuring to himself. "Don't stop, he's not real. Help Jim. Don't stop, he's not real." Over and over Blair repeated his mantra, his words falling in quick succession, recognizable to Jim even though the words themselves were slurred almost to the point of being garbled.
Jim sped up, quickly overtaking his stumbling partner, and gently placed his hand on Blair's shoulder. "Blair, I'm right here. Stop and let me help you."
Though aware that Blair was not coherent, Jim was still surprised when Blair shrugged out of his grip and turned to look at him, his eyes narrowed into slits that failed to conceal fury. "I'm not going to stop until I find Jim!"
Jim held up his hands in what he hoped was a placating gesture. "Chief, look at me. It's me, Jim. I'm right here. Let me help you."
Blair stared hard at Jim, searching for something. Finally, it seemed that Blair had decided that whatever he was looking for wasn't there. He shook his head once, turned his back on Jim and continued walking, murmuring again under his breath, "It isn't real."
Jim stood still for a moment, shocked by the state of his partner. He'd known when Dracon had hit Blair with the butt of his rifle that Blair would surely have a concussion, if not worse. He could only assume that blood loss and continued exposure to the elements had combined to make Blair so confused. At least that's what Jim tried to tell himself, he didn't want to consider the alternative.
Jim shook himself from his reverie and looked around. They were in the middle of the woods, far from their campsite or any of their supplies. The light mist that continued to fall didn't bode well, nor did the fact that the sun was starting to set. Soon the temperature would drop significantly and if Jim didn't find shelter for himself and Blair fast, they would both be in trouble.
Jim cursed himself again as he moved to catch up with Blair. He had to find a way to take away the effectiveness of white noise generators in the hands of his enemies. He'd only known something was wrong when he heard the crack of the rifle against Blair's temple. Jim had scrambled out of the tent only to come face to face with a rifle barrel. He'd quickly realized there was no way he was going to be able to disarm Dracon without getting shot in the head, so his priority had immediately shifted to Blair's safety. He'd been developing a plan on how to convince Dracon to leave Blair behind when Dracon had surprised him by declaring that he only wanted Jim; that if he'd come quietly, he wouldn't kill Blair. Jim knew full well that Blair wouldn't survive the night without help. Dracon did too. But Jim had gone along with him, sadly recognizing Blair's only chance at survival would be to be left behind until Jim could escape.
Jim again caught up with Blair, but instead of trying to physically force him to stop, he simply spoke with him. "Blair, I know that you're confused now, but you have to listen to me carefully. You've been injured, I need you to let me help you."
Blair stopped and turned to look at Jim. He again narrowed his eyes, but this time, it wasn't with fury but bewilderment. "Help me? I don't need help. Jim needs..." Blair's words trailed off and he turned to start his trek once again.
Jim stopped him with a hand to his shoulder once again, pleased that Blair let him this time. "Blair, please look at me. It's me, it's Jim. I'm right here."
Blair focused again on Jim and shook his head. "No, this is a trick. You don't want me to help Jim. I don't know why, and I don't care. You can't stop me. I will find him."
"Blair, you've got a head wound, that's why you don't recognize me. Feel for yourself." Jim lightly touched the corner of Blair's temple, at the hairline. Blair's hair was matted against his skin and a slow stream of blood slid down his face pooling just beneath his chin before dripping steadily to the ground below.
Blair's own hand shakily came up to feel his forehead, briefly connecting with Jim's hand and he guided Blair's hand to the bleeding knot. "See? You need help. Let me help you."
Blair angrily shook his head. "No, I don't matter, only Jim does. I have to find him."
Jim closed his eyes, hoping to shield his emotions from Blair. He didn't want Blair to think he was mad at him, but his words infuriated him. Did he do that to him? Did he make Blair feel unimportant? How could he make him feel that way when it was so far removed from how he felt about Blair? Blair was the most important person in the world as far as he was concerned. How could Blair fail to notice that?
"Blair, if you pass out from blood loss you won't be able to help Jim, right?"
Blair paused, confused by Jim's rationale. "I won't pass out."
"You might, if you keep bleeding. Let me at least stop the bleeding and then we can go look for Jim together. Will you let me help you?"
Jim stood completely still, afraid any sudden movement would startle Blair. He'd briefly considered knocking Blair out, but he was worried that would make Blair's injuries worse. The only thing he could do was try to keep Blair calm until he could get them both to help. Jim slowly offered Blair his hand, "Please, Blair, I only want to help you."
After several long seconds, Blair took Jim's hand in his own. "M'kay." With that simple exhalation of a word, Blair slumped bonelessly into Jim's arms, unconscious.
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Blair came to awareness slowly, wondering why his brain was trying so hard to pound it�s way out of his skull. He kept his eyes closed tightly, hoping that by breathing slowly and deliberately he could somehow convince his gray matter that his skull was a good home. After several long moments he got his head back under enough control that he could risk opening his eyes.
The complete darkness that surrounded him scared him and he slammed his lids closed in response. Almost immediately he felt a hand against his arm. �It�s okay, Chief, I�m right here.�
Blair tilted his head slightly, trying to place the voice. He knew he recognized it, and impossibly, the sound made him feel marginally better. But he couldn�t stop to rest now, he had to find�*Jim!*
Blair once again forced his eyes open, realizing as he looked around that he wasn�t blind, as he�d originally thought, but that it was dark�outside? Yes, the more Blair took in his surroundings the more things made sense. Of course, he was still outside. He and Jim had gone camping and then�what had happened again?
Blair looked up in surprise when he realized the voice was raised. �What?�
�Blair, are you with me? Why didn�t you answer me?�
�Answer you? What?� Blair didn�t have time to answer his questions. Jim was lost. That must be what had happened. He�d woken up at the campsite and Jim had been gone. Jim must be lost, it was the only thing that made sense. He�d just have to find him.
When hands held him down as he tried to get up, Blair became enraged. �What are you doing? I have to find Jim!�
Blair tried to push the hands off his chest, or squirm away from the man so intent on keeping him lying on the wet ground when his sentinel needed him, tears sprang to his eyes as he realized he was having no effect on the tyrant. �Let me go! He needs me!�
Blair suddenly stopped struggling, in part because he�d lost the energy to fight, but mostly it was because of the fear he glimpsed in the man�s eyes. Why was he afraid? He was the one in control here.
�Please, Blair, just calm down. I�m right here. I don�t need you to find me, I only need you to calm down.�
Numbly, Blair realized he was slumped up against the man�s chest, panting from his exertion. He admitted grudgingly to himself that the warm hand rubbing circles against his back felt good when everything hurt, especially his head. Apparently his brain was once again trying it�s aborted attempt to escape it�s home. But he knew he couldn�t just sit back and accept comfort when Jim needed him. He pushed himself off the man. Well at least he tried to push off, he mostly just flopped around. The man seemed unwilling to let him go; a ragged sigh let Blair know exactly how the man felt about letting him go. But, bless him, the man did let him go.
Blair sat back, looking at his surroundings again, trying to think. If he were a lost sentinel, where would he go? He could hear the voice of the man in the background, but he didn�t listen. He had to think of a plan. Once he found Jim, then he would stop to rest. And then after he�d rested, he was going to have a serious talk with his brain. No more escape attempts.
He stood up slowly, more pleased than words could express that the man didn�t try to stop him this time. He only placed one arm on his elbow and another around his waist and helped him up. Blair looked up at him and smiled, thanking him. Maybe this man would help him find Jim.
�Can you help me? My friend is lost here somewhere and I really need to find him. He needs me.�
Blair smiled, briefly closing his eyes in relief. The man would help him. He slowly started walking, assured of two things. One that he would find Jim, and two, the man would follow him and help him. After all, he�d readily agreed that Jim did need him. Blair wasn�t exactly sure why that seemed to make the man so sad, but it didn�t matter. The only thing that mattered was finding Jim.
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Jim watched anxiously as his guide stumbled through the brush. He was obviously struggling just to stay on his feet, but nothing Jim said seemed to get through to him. Most of the time Jim doubted Blair even heard him.
Blair�s devotion staggered Jim. The fact that he inspired such loyalty, no matter how misguided, flattered and repulsed Jim almost equally. He�d never wanted this. He�d never wanted Blair to think he was expendable; that Jim was the important one. Hell, he wouldn�t even be alive if not for Blair. If anyone was the �important� one, it was Blair. No doubt in his mind at all.
The sound of Blair falling once again shook Jim out of his brooding thoughts. He knelt next to Blair, asking him again to just lie still and rest. But as expected, Blair ignored him. He sat still for a moment, only because he was too stunned to get up, then shook himself and used Jim as a ladder to pull himself upright. Jim sighed and allowed himself to be pawed, grateful to be able to do something to help Blair, even if it went against everything he wanted to do.
Following Blair once again on his mindless hunt, Jim struggled to think of a way to help his partner. Reasoning with him was pointless. Usually Blair just ignored him or didn�t hear him. Worse though was when Blair would look at him as if he couldn�t understand the words coming out of Jim�s mouth. He�d stare for a few seconds then hesitantly smile, as though he was apologizing because he didn�t speak the language.
Once again, Jim wished he could just grab Blair, punch him and sling him over his shoulder. Though every instinct the Sentinel felt urged him to do just that, the medic in him knew that with his head injury it just really wouldn�t be prudent. So if logic and manhandling were out, what was left?
The old Sangburg standby�obfuscation.
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Blair stopped for a moment, leaning his forehead against a tree, his breath coming out in little puffs of clouds. He focused on his breathing, trying to regain the strength to keep looking for Jim. Funny, he�d never noticed that when he panted like that in the cold it looked like he was a steam train.
Puff
Puff
Puff.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
There you go, Blair. You can find Jim. You aren�t hurt. You can�t be hurt, you�re a steam train. Unstoppable, impervious to injury�you just keep going and going and going�.
Like a bunny?
He raised his head and looked behind him�.maybe the man would know whether he should be a bunny or a train. He stared for at least five minutes before he realized the man wasn�t there anymore. Oh well, he could find Jim without him. After all, he was a bunny train.
Wearily, Blair straightened and started walking again. Almost as soon as he started, he could see someone laying on the dirt ahead. The person was leaning back against a tree, his arms slack at his sides. Blair stumbled forward, running a few steps, then walking a few, until he finally reached the person against the tree.
He knelt carefully down next to the person and put his fingers against his neck, thrilled that there was a pulse. As gently as he could, Blair cupped the man�s chin and angled his face towards him. He inhaled deeply as he recognized Jim�s face, breathing as intensely as a newborn child�s first breath.
�Jim, it�s okay, I�ve found you. You�re going to be just fine. Come on, open your eyes.�
Amazingly Jim�s eyes popped open immediately at his request. Blair smiled blearily at Jim and tried to reassure him through touch�.softly rubbing his forehead, his cheeks, his arm and shoulder. �You�re going to be okay. It�s okay now,, I found you. I�ll always find you when you�re lost. It�s okay.�
�Are you cold, Jim? Yeah, you must be cold, it�s cold out here. You have to get warm.� Blair shifted Jim�s arm up enough so that he could slip underneath and angle the arm over his own back. That done, he shifted closer until he was close enough that he could lay his head on Jim�s chest and wrap his arm across his stomach. �There you go, you�ll be warmer like this. Conserving body heat and all. Things are going to be just fine now that I�ve found you. Gotta stay together�� Safe and warm, Blair finally allowed himself relax.
Jim felt the moment Blair passed out. It would have been hard miss even if he hadn�t been monitoring him. Blair had practically climbed into his lap, he had easily felt Blair going slack against him. Still, he held himself motionless. He didn�t want to disturb Blair. He told himself it was because he knew Blair needed rest and if Jim jumped up to make them shelter right away it would most likely agitate Blair. But he knew perfectly well that the real reason he didn�t move right away was because he simply didn�t want to.
He almost couldn�t believe that his plan had worked. The only thing he could think of to calm him down was to let Blair �find� him. So he�d gone ahead a few feet and sat down where Blair would practically trip over him and waited. Thankfully it had worked. For whatever reason, this time Blair had recognized him. It had taken a generous reserve of will power to sit still and let Blair minister to him, but Jim had been concerned that if he just walked up to Blair or was just sitting in the woods waiting for him it wouldn�t have worked. Blair thought he had to rescue Jim, so Jim let him.
Again focused on his guide, he reveled in the steady heart beat, exalted in the even, deep breathing. Unconsciously he tightened his arms around Blair, bringing him even closer.
�Just rest, Chief. You saved me, and I�m gonna save you right back.�
End
