Quoteable Quips
"Roll reversal roll spin roll reversal back flip. Works every time."
-Matt Lamson 3/20/02
"When you cough you know it's good." -Bruno Colby 4/1/02
"I'm alive, I'm so alive!" -Jay 4/2/02
"How do I cook a loin?" -Bruno Colby 4/6/02
"Things will be better when weed is free." -Deacon Fairchild 4/7/02
"I thought that, too, at first, but I was most curtly corrected."
-Deacon Fairchild 4/11/02
"Sour cream and brownies go great together, man. Uh-huh. You wouldn't think it. Mm-hm." -Deacon Fairchild 4/11/02
"You can always do one thing or another. You can do another or one thing. You can do another and that one... thing...." -Webby 4/14/02
"It's not about the hole. No. It's about the whole skirt. Not hole. Whole."
-Pancho 4/14/02
"You can either do this with me now, or sleep with me in your hot, humid room. A man has choices, you know." -Me 4/17/02
"I'm all over that shit like a perv on a fat chick." -Paul Garza 4/22/02
"I love it. This weed comes in perfect bowl sized splotches." -Deacon Fairchild
"This guy is a poopsicle... like a Hershy Kiss at the end of my dick."
-Paul Garza 4/22/02
"You've got your life in that little bag." -Jason 4/26/02
"Everybody knows my fucking name." -Rocket Sauce and the Blast-Offs 4/26/02
"Everyone saw my head on fire!" -Jay 4/27/02
"There's this dock and you can dive off it and do flips and in fact, I hit my head once, but it wasn't that bad..." -Goldie 4/28/02
"There's a big giant Space Walrus!" -Deacon Fairchild 4/28/02
"How much money would it take for you to fuck a horse?" -F.D.A. 5/3/02
"Why do you ask me to cum on your mustache anyway?' -Eric Blair 5/3/02
"If it burns, go to the doctor." -F.D.A. 5/4/02
"These are J.C. Penny, fuckin top of the line, buddy." -Phil 5/4/02
"It's the soundtrack for your own personal hell." -Paul Garza 5/6/02
"If you reckon you don't think. If you think you don't reckon."
-Phred 5/31/02
"To get him back I took paper towels and wiped out the urinal, then I dragged the paper across his pants." -Rich 6/5/02
"That's the last time I'm fucking a black guy." -Rich 6/5/02
"That's cuz you can get mad fucked up on a dog's urine, man." -Keith 6/22/02
"This woman had a monkey, a Reeses monkey, and they're really smart. This monkey mimiced human behavoir to a 't.' So much, in fact, that one day she found the monkey dead in her bathroom. It had shaved itself to death." -Sirch 6/22/02
"Like Yule Gibbons choking on a pine cone." -Uncle Tim 6/29/02
"In pursuit of life, liberty, and trivial happiness." -Burns 7/17/02
"It's like fruity pebbles, just without the ice cream." -Jay 8/11/02
"My flagon?" -Deacon Fairchild 8/15/02
"When I put this glove on I want to toot my horn... and grab balls."
-Nick the Deuce 12/13/03
"This is the best road trip I've ever taken. Except for that window knobbing my asshole." -Keith (guy I met on a train trip) 4/27/04
"It's not like there's going to be pirate demons nibbling at your legs."
-R. Stasik 5/23/04
"If there's marijuana in there I'll find it." -Courtney Aussi 5/29/04
"If I offer my cheek would you spank it?" -Doctor Patrick 6/9/04
"Shit Chuck says regarding squash!" -Chef Charles 7/29/04
"It came off in the potatoes, man." -Bruno Colby 7/30/04
"I'm so glad I started smoking weed again. My life's never been better."
-KiraKira
"I hate his fake rock face." -Bruno Colby
"That's the shittiest shit that's ever been shitted." -Sutherland
"Carnies are fucking carnies comapred to Erich."
-Carl Nelson, Vedic Astrologer 10/23/04
"He's got a thousand twists in his panties. It's like the untwistable wedgie, man."
-Bruno Colby
"I think it went up my nose." -Me
"I'm sorry, honey, but I have crabs. I wanted to tell you the other night but it felt too good." -Anyonomous
"I have more talent in my tongue than the whole German Army."
-Chef Charles 10/29/04
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