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| Clever Girl... >> Friends >> The List >> You a fuck? From: Lexi Subject: you a fuck? NO! i am the fuck... alternatively, i am the cheese ok, so here is my story i am writing my essay, like the good little trouper and i get to the part where i have to write about le morte darthur and i am still going strong, writing my little paragraphs, and sentences... blah blah blah when it suddenly occurs to me that I should get some verification about the book from someone who has actually read it... so i call rachel we chat for a few minutes about the screwbitchery that is ESSAY - rachel thinks she is going to fail at this stage, because she only has 400 words anyway, then we get down to business lexi: so did king arthur have gwenevere burned at the stake? rach: huh? lexi: did she die? rach: er... no. no, what happened was that he did want her dead, but then he forgave her, and lancelot when off and started his own kingdom, and gawain hung around outside lancelot's palace for about 6 months, like a loser. so then arthurs son tried to take over his kingdom, and i think marry gwenevere... grotty... and then lancelot joins the priesthood, and arthur dies, and then gwenevere joins the nunnery, and then she dies... and i think lancelot did her funeral service. lexI: riiight. so, thats remarkably different to what i thought happened. rach: what were you writing about? ok, so here is how i thought the story went: arthur finds out about gwenevere and lancelot. he goes into a jealous rage, because he has been cuckolded. so he orders gwenevere to be burnt at the stake. so there she is, tied to the stake, and she is set alight. amongst the onlookers is lancelot. he gets mighty pissed to see gwenevere burning, whips out his sword, and proceeds to cut off the heads of everyone in the vicinity. unfortunately, he doesn't get to save gwenevere, she has already died, and it is left to a final standoff between arthur and lancelot. they fight, and arthur wins, brutally wounding lancelot in his... nether-regions... as payback for his wife-stealing ways. lancelot then dies, i dunno, from blood loss or something. and i had actually started writing with this alternative ending in mind before i called rachel the moral ... ? i think its obvious from lexi, the victorius NOTE: Lexi ended up getting a High Distinction on this essay. ;) back |
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