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| Clever Girl... >> Friends >> The List >> RIP From: Rachel Subject: RIP Being one of those greatly afflicted by the perils of procrastination it has taken me a week to write what should have been sent immediately. A good friend and faithful servant of mine passed away last Sunday outside Buffy's house. Larry. While to some Larry was just another umbrella, to others he was much more. Clear and mushroom-shaped, Larry provided shelter and protected the hair of many of us. As Larry's closest friend on The List I feel obliged to say a few words on his behalf. Larry and I had many good times together. We were constant companions whenever there was but one cloud in the sky (except for those times when I accidently left him behind - in lecture theatres, cars, and - most notably - the cleaner's closet at Westfield Burwood), and I thanked my lucky stars for his existence every time it rained. He made me feel safe. Umbrellas are known to be an effective deterrant for rapists. An umbrella as large, pointy, and dangerous looking as Larry was SURE to scare people away... even friends. Larry even indulged in a little S&M during his short life - most notably outside Berry Street Tavern on the night of my farewell. Upon hearing my threats to spank Andrew with Larry should he not "get his ass out of the club immediately", several young men offered THEIR asses to Larry's pointy edge. While some claimed that Larry was too small to provide sufficient coverage, he was the perfect size to fit two people. Or maybe not. ;) But I was not the only person Larry provided coverage to - other beneficeries of his generosity include: Miss Carmen Wong Mr Andrew Yip Miss Iona McRae Miss Alexis Hill (who also selected Larry) Miss Chantelle Ogilvie Mr Ben Allen Miss Anna Wong Miss Sarah Drury Larry's lawyer, Mr Andrew Yip, also an author and ameteur rock star, offered the following statement upon Larry's demise. "Larry and Sally When Larry met Sally They were two umbrellas They had lots of sex It was umbrella sex!" The poignance of it all. *sob* I am still yet to discover who this hussy Sally is! A revoir, as Sir Fopling would say! (ENGL 2026) ~ Rachel back |
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