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| Clever Girl... >> Friends >> The Liast >> How to Act A Good Girl... From: Andrew Subject: How to act a good girl... Dear Mr Iyer, if you are trying to become a girl I suggest you also (in Jack Nicolson's words) 'remove all reason and accountability'. And then, maybe you should berate your male companions for doing things that you and your girl friends do 24/7. Oh yeah, then go on about how fat and ugly you are to all your male friends (which is one of the most entertaining things ever, mind you). I'll give it ago. GIRL ME [TO OTHER GIRL]: yeah all boys are fucked up dickheads with no brains and less common sense. Yeah and where do they learn how to dress? they're all so ugly! I would NEVER go out with a guy dressed like THAT, or with that hair. Oh! hang on check out that guy he's fucking hot! I'd like to jump his bones straight away. Oh yeah, but how much do the Andrew's suck? They shit me to tears. IYER [WALKING UP]: Oh hi girl yip. how are you? GIRL ME: oh fine. IYER: You should have seen these two girls who i tutored before at numberworks. One of them was really ugly, but she was nice, the other one was really hot and all the time all i could think of was getting with her. GIRL ME: You fucking prick! You have no respect for women! all you care about is looks! you are so fake and shallow! what about that ugly girl? she wasn't good enough for you, even though you got along with her well just because she looked like a horse? you bastard! when will you males learn that we must be treated with respect and that we are all individuals with individual needs? stop generalising us, as all you males always do. You always make up stupid stereotypes that never make sense. Fuck off! By the way, I'm so fat and ugly. IYER: Yes, indeed you are. But here, have a drachma and go call someone who gives a fuck. Yeah, that was fun wasn't it. Rachel's note: I still find this email exceedingly offensive and seethe with anger just typing it. back |
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