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| Clever Girl... >> Friends >> Quotes |
| The 'Quote Book' was a long standing tradition from 1997 to 2000, capturing every stupid or even witty word that came out of my friends' mouths in that time. Unfortunately, in 2001, very few amusing things have been said, so there has been a... noticable absence of quotes. I do promise though, that as we get older and (hopefully) wittier, they do get better. January 1997 Christina: I had the most fantastic dream last night. I don't know who he was, but he was great! Anna: Have you had a wet dream? Rachel: Ah no... boys have wet dreams, Anna. Anna: Do they? Oh my god! What should I do? Rachel: I suggest you go see a doctor. Emma: I don't think and I exist. Anna: I think I'd better check Mulder for penile injuries. Rachel: The only people who aren't out of my reach are desperate pedophiles and year 7s. |
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| Irem: The guy in front of me had the whole Mafia thing going. It was soooo cute. February 1997 Christina: I had a little bit of trouble getting it in at first but, you know, I was desperate. Emma: I'm in year 7 too, I'm just pretending to be in year 10. March 1997 Carmen: Well, we all know Mr Ladmore is such a hunk! Christina (on guy at Rachel's bus stop): What would you do if he said hello to you? Rachel: Probably say hello back... and then discover he was talking to someone else. Emma: You don't have to exist to speak. Emma: Mr Flannagan, would you like some fresh cow's milk? Menike: I like the taste of rubber. Emma: If he wasn't my brother I'd go for him. April 1997 Rachel: There is no way I'm going to some hick town at the age of 15! Dad: Who said anything about a town? Carmen: Mr Ladmore is so intellectually stimulating, so passionate... enthusiastic. Rachel: Yeah... I have an imaginery friend. Christina: Who? Rachel: Oh, you don't know her. May 1997 Anuja: Cry! I want to see you cry! Karina: I can't believe she told us her daughter was sick... I mean, it's not like we actually care or anything. Mr McCormick: Who can tell me where Aboriginal rock music originated? Emma: America! June 1997 Jess: At least a year 7 won't try anything on you, but a pedophile... is a pedophile. August 1997 Irem (on 17 year old guys): They're just ripe for the picking. Marty (in a hopeful voice during Geography): Maybe someday we'll be the leaders [in world atmospheric pollution]. October 1997 Marley: I've worked out I've got the exact same measurements as Christy Turlington. Rachel: I like little boys. Rachel: Hello Mr Cockatoo! Rachel: No one is as sadistic as I am. I made my sister listen to Mmmbop. November 1997 Anuja: Do you actually sniff cocaine? Phil Spector: Some people have said watching a Spice Girls video is like watching a porn film, but there is a big difference in that some porn films have good music. Emma (on the younger Hanson siblings): Wouldn't it be bad having your whole life centred around your older brothers and sisters? Rachel: I've kissed lots of girls... but not for less than a millisecond. Anuja: I have a worse problem with thinking than you do. December 1997 Rachel (absent mindedly): I don't know whether to be Rach H., or Mel B.... Emma: Look, I have little black hairs. Rachel: Let's all go look in the mirror! Irem (on Rachel and Christina): I miss them so much. Even though we were just a small group of three, we still made fun of everyone and it was really amusing to sit there at lunchtime and joke about the Riddler, the Backdoor Boogeyman, the Right Guy, the Pope, the cool group, and all the rest of SGHS and SBHS. January 1998 "From pastures green to a shop that's clean" - butcher's slogan in Yackandandah. Emma: Actually, it might be good to be involved in something for once. February 1998 Menike (on obsessions): I'm obsessed with myself. In geography... Marty (on nail polish): It's because I put it in my mouth and I swallowed some. Mr Flannagan: Marty... this is a personal problem? Let's not discuss it in class. Rachel: I'm going to think... oh no, that's too difficult. March 1998 Christina: That's because Brad oozes sexuality... Emma: I call my boyfriend 'dildo'. Marty (on how Ms Carter never told us she was engaged to Mr Charles): Well, if you were going out with Mr Charles would you tell anyone? May 1998 Mum (to Taylor Hanson): You need to lift your organ honey! Anuja: Sri Lankan people don't know anything. Rachel: I think you have kinky things with bubbles in the bath. Christina: Oh no, that's just Cara and I. Rachel: I think I'm turning into Saru! Spice Girls' singing teacher: I had to say to them 'Please forgive me - this isn't personal - but we have to do this. We don't have enough time. We've got to get you to understand what it's like to sing in tune. July 1998 Rachel: But you liked Brad and David and Tristan! Christina: Hey hey! Still do! August 1998 Christina: Guys I've never met before... I always end up sleeping with them. And in the funniest of places too! Carmen: I'm a deflowerer! Carmen: Yay, sweet sperm! Irem (to Christina): Your button's undone and I'm just waiting for it to open. Nick Carter: Every time I look at teen mags, there are pictures of boybands with their tops off. I just feel I have more to give than that. No prizes for guessing where I found this quote. That's right! Next to a picture of Nick Carter with his shirt off! Rachel: I may be a schitzophrenic teenybopper cradlesnatcher, but I don't like Brad! Irem: I want him to die an amusing death. Rachel: That can be arranged. October 1998 Rachel: Oh, I don't care about the age of consent... Emma: I can't go out twice in one week! Oh mi god! Oh mi god! Then I might have a social life! November 1998 Rachel (on Carmen's birthday present): Oh my god - it vibrates! Carmen: Will I ever be enthusiastic when doing an oral? Rachel: Flattery will get you everywhere. Well, not everywhere, but it will prevent me from hating you. January 1999 Buffy The Vampire Slayer: You can attack me, you can send assassins after me - that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend. February 1999 Rachel: ...besides which, I find it really difficult to talk about myself. Michaela (on Urban Legend): If I saw it I'd have to sleep with the person I saw it with. Rachel: Maybe we should go over to him... Irem: And apologise orally? Mr McLaughlan to Ms Stansmore regarding Rachel and Carmen's maths class: They're all talking - you'd think it was an art class! Rachel (on why it wasn't perverted to say someone had nice arms): ... and arms don't lead to anything. Carmen: Except for groping. March 1999 Mr Flannagan: I'd like you to know that mine's grown three inches in the past three months. April 1999 Menike (on James Van Der Beek): He's the icing on the cake [that is Dawson's Creek]. Rachel: What is everyone talking for? We're in Maths! May 1999 Rachel: Twenty cents? Oh come on! I do it all the time for free! Irem (on Rachel): She looks at my nose when she talks to me! Christina: I would too, just to be sure I was safe. Rachel: But I wanted you to be my date so you could meet Dick! June 1999 Mum: That was so much fun Rachel - it was like group sex! July 1999 Nick Carter: I'm a firm believer in destiny. Mine was to be a Backstreet Boy. Rachel: Oh, I'm an excellent wrapper. Irem: But you don't write rap, you write pop! Rachel: Oh Emma! You're dating a model's brother, you've got your own year 7s - have you got the Barbie Dream House yet? August 1999 Carmen: What are you doing? Trying to get carrot out of your nose again? October 1999 Rachel: There are these people in my head. I'm not sure if they're real or not. Yes! I think they're real! November 1999 Irem: Lots of people appreciate my head. December 1999 Kate: I guess sex with me isn't as wonderful as you thought! Kate: I'm going to lose my virginity to this song! Rachel: But it's really short! Mum: Fancy spending New Years Eve with your family when you didn't have to! January 2000 Rachel B: I hope you slip and fall off the cliff and hit the rocks below with full force. Kate: I've never been to Wallmart. Amanda: You've never been to Walmart? God, you can't even spell Walmart! Kate: Damn America! Jane: Yes, damn the Americans! Let's go to America and shoot them all, we'll fit right in! March 2000 Liv: That Walker's a machine! Rachel: Yes, but if you had kids like that you would just keep on going, wouldn't you? Kate: Besides, if you did go out with him there'd be lots of pain and achiness and genital warts. Saru (on cunnilingus): And there'd be stuff coming out all the time, not just one big spurt. Saru (on felletio): But what if you accidently bite it? That's what dental dams are for, right? Rachel: Sure, I live in a fantasy world, but at least it's interesting there! Dad (on Taylor Hanson): Anyone who says he is not an attractive person is lying or is an alien. April 2000 Iyer (to Haran): Your body's the ultimate body for sex! Carmen: It's just that... you know that saying, "If you can fit into my pants you can't get into my pants"? - Two of him can! Rachel: Well, that's twice as much fun for you then, isn't it? Rachel (on Erection Boy): He's not a poor guy! He molested me! Gerald: Well, he is a poor guy then. Rachel: She's desperate! She's like me! Carmen (on the prospect of guys at ourtable weighing more than us): But they're just skin and bone! And hair gel! Rachel: All the men I love are dead... or gay... or have girlfriends. May 2000 Dim: Oh sorry! I didn't recognise you! You look nice today. Man in sociology video: I would prefer to have sex with a girlfriend because it is very expensive to go to the Daily Planet every time you get horny. Anuja: Oh god... this is such a saga. Honestly, your uni should be on TV - I'd watch it every night! Rachel: If I didn't have a vested interest in these things I'd be sitting back and watching this all with popcorn. Liv: And it was such a romantic story. Rachel: Yeah, really romantic. About as romantic as being run over by a truck. Rachel: What do you call the poor woman who marries Haran? Dim! Lexi (loudly in the middle of an English lecture): Wow!!! I've gotta read this play! Penny: I always wondered how people in girls' schools met guys. Rachel: Yeah, I wondered that too. All through high school. Kate: I just totally can't imagine you in a t-shirt and shorts, running, and kicking a ball. Rachel: Neither can I! I can't even imagine me in a tshirt and shorts! Rachel: I mean, unlike most of the people who are attracted to me, his only sign of madness was him asking me out! Andrew: It's a match made in heaven. (If heaven was a place where everyone was boring and no one ever talked or was social.) June 2000 Rachel: I was in love with a little girl! on the Sydney Grammar basketball match. Carmen: It would have been so funny! Rachel: I know! Xena! Carmen: I'm actually imagining Iyer in a sarong. A little flimsy sarong. Clutching at it to keep from being indecent. Lexi: Yes! Why help people? Why achieve anything? I should just be an Arts student! Emma: It's like going out with a DJ - except I'm not going out with him and he's not a DJ. July 2000 Rachel (to Carmen): You're like an extended part of me. But I'll let you be a good part - like my left breast. Carmen: What do they do in Engineering anyway? Rachel: I don't know. Engineering is weird. It sounds like 'engine'. Gerald: Are you a pubber or a clubber? Rachel: Neither. I'm a no-lifer. August 2000 Rachel: The Disaster. I like to refer to it as The Disaster with a capital 'D'. Sometimes with a capital 'D' and a capital 'T'. Andrew: Disaster? Rachel: That's why I'm glad I'm single. Hope: Why? Rachel: Because turtle necks make me look fat. October 2000 Rachel: You always like the guys I like, Brendan. Brendan: Yes, I'm going to steal them all away from you! Rachel: Um... they'd have to be gay for that to work... Brendan: I'll convert them! Who wouldn't turn for The Lump? November 2000 Mum (on Erin, the breadshop girl): She's like a second daughter to me! My mother already has two daughters. Carmen: You have Iyer as a semi-male friend - I mean, male semi-friend! Carmen: The only dirty fantasy I have about Iyer is, like, burying him in dirt! Kat: I can see you with a really quiet guy... Rachel: Really? I can't... because I'm so loud! Kat: No, but one who's really absorbed in you... Rachel: Because then we'd have something in common?! Kat (on my cockatoo eating a piece of steak): It's like 'mmm... my own kind'. Rachel: It's a cow. December 2000 Kate: What's the difference between kinky sex and normal sex? Rachel: Well... kinky sex is what we have. Kate (half an hour later): What? You mean no sex? Kate (to her cat): Did you hear that Ella? You converted her! That's like turning someone gay! Andrew: It's just that I can't think and talk at the same time. March 2001 Girl in Manning Bar who is trying to cajole Rachel into entering pool comp: You like her. You want her to be good at pool, don't you? Andrew: Ermm... welll... I don't want her near any pointy objects... she might hit me with. April 2001 Liv: You're just using me to quote yourself sounding funny! Rachel: Yeah, like Africa's actually a lot bigger than it looks on the map. Andrew: What? You mean it's bigger than 15cm? May 2001 Woman in radio play, The Red Room: If I were to sit here naked, would he notice me? drunk man in pub: You guys are beautiful. Most people here are ugly, and I don't want to know them, but you guys are beautiful. Rachel (sarcastically): Yeah, we get that all the time. Emma: Yeah, we're models. Kat: Is that Yip... or is that an old man? Kat: You're so tiny Andrew... don't worry, I was just looking at your legs - nothing else! Rachel: The only Michelle I know is a blonde... okay, so she's a made up person, so... June 2001 Mum: I don't know anything about anything! Rachel: I love Sweet Valley. It defined my understadning of life - which is probably why I'm so screwed up! Jess: Heyyy - maybe that's why we think the same! July 2001 Rachel: If I was a guy, I'd try to feel me up in this top too. Rachel: Having never been beyond the fretting stage, I wouldn't know. Kate: You've been beyond the frettingish stage, you just naturally fret or something. I never fret. Rachel: True, I just naturally fret. I spend the entire relationship fretting. He's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me, he's going to dump me... He dumped me! See - I told you I was right! It's not paranoia, it's instinct. Kate: We were nothing like those little teenie girls who all thought they were in love with Taylor, when we really were. Kate: But I ony hoochie dance with girls, so it's okay! Rachel: Arms are so much more socially acceptable than boobs. Gemma: I don't like LOOKING at guys' bodies - just feeling them! Kate: I think guys should shave their pits too. Rachel: I think asking them to shave their pits is a little much... waxing is better. Kate: Ivor is convinced that I like a different guy called Joanna who is not my Joanna! Rachel: Joey always tried to kiss me and put his tongue in my mouth, but I don't let him... Kate: for a second there I was like, WHO IS JOEY??? I'm also plesed you don't let him. Rachel: Yes, it would be weird otherwise. Kate: pleased, even. Rachel: It would be a little bestial. Kate: a little wrong Andrew (in shock at Irish guy thinking he is with Rachel): Oh no, hit on her. Please, hit on her. We're not together. *points at Ben* We're together. I mean, not together, but... we're just all friends. Feel free to hit on her. Andrew: Don't hug me. Rachel: Why not? It's not like you're going to pick up. Andrew: Girls might see. Besides, I thought I was your cousin. Rachel: Yeah, but I'm from Tennesse. "One good kiss wipes away two personality defects - sometimes more" - ad for The Secret Life Of Us. Rachel: Oh, I should enter my short film. Chantelle: What short film? Rachel: The one I'm going to make as soon as I find someone to work the camera. Madeleine: You can get lost in his eyebrows. (on James Van Der Beek) August 2001 Quinn (from Daria): Well, of course she should divorce him! He's short! October 2001 Chantelle: Rachel has a two-track mind, sex and media, and often the two overlap. Rachel: I hope you catch herpes and die! Chantelle: Poststructuralists say... Rachel: Poststructuralists say that there is no doer, only the deed. If this is so, Rachel's deeds make her a very good do-er indeed. I certainly like it when she does me! Andrew: I felt so good when I shot my first person today. Rachel: You're really smart - can I feel your tits? November 2001 Rachel: I think maybe you should go on anti-depressants - either that, or listen to Britney. Rachel: You see, I have this theory that you are who you do... Back |