Drums and dancing...chanting and firelight...and then finally the drum-circle mourning Darcy's loss and celebrating his life starts to break up and everyone goes to their individual rooms in the chantry, or houses in the Horizon Realm. Except for two people. Kaiden is in the graveyard sleeping sounding on her mentor's grave. Kassandra is hiding in her garden next to the graveyard, waiting.
Once the coast is clear, Kassandra walks quietly back to the graveyard. She whispers to Kaiden, but Kaiden won't wake up...she's sleeping deeply. Kassandra sighs and walks over to Darcy's grave, kneeling and placing one of her roses on the grave. This one's pink. Pink for someone who she had once entertained romantic thoughts about...it seems like a long time ago now. Pink for someone who was always gentle and caring and easy to talk to...the first truly friendly and non-intimidating mage she'd met in the chantry.
Kassandra kneels quietly for a long time, and then finally clears her throat and begins to speak softly.
"I'm sorry I didn't say anything at your funeral service, Darcy. I wanted to, and I kept trying to, but the only words I could think to say were--" Kassandra glances around and then lowers her voice even more. "The only words that would come to my mind were angry, accusing words against Aidan, and I knew that would end up ruining your funeral, and I knew you would hate that...because you loved her." Kassandra whispers, and then tightens her lips.
She's quiet for a long moment again, and then lowers her head. "I wish you could have found love...TRUE love, where the woman loved you back as much as you loved her, and treated you the way you SHOULD have been treated! I never knew true love, myself, until recently, so I can tell you that what you had with Aidan was anything BUT that, because she treated you horribly. We all saw it, but what could we do? I don't know WHY she begged you to come back and told you she'd try a relationship with you if that's not what she really wanted! Why did she do that??" Kassandra's voice gets a little loud and Kaiden stirs a little. Kassandra quickly goes silent and waits until Kaiden is snoring softly again before continuing again...in a near-whisper.
"And then she brings Jagyr here! And puts him in the same tent that you're trying to recover in! Talk about selfish and heartless! AND she refused to let us try to heal you more! She said to wait until you woke up so she could ask your permission to try to fix your scars! YOUR PERMISSION!! That made NO sense to me-- but then again, NOTHING Aidan does makes sense to me so I couldn't be TOO surprised!" Kassandra hisses quietly.
"And then..." Kassandra finally chokes up. "...you wake up and realize how you look, and realize Aidan's gone with Jagyr, and realizes you didn't have true love, and it broke your heart and you died, and you didn't deserve to die like that, gentle one! You didn't deserve to die like that!" Kassandra falls forward so her arms are resting on the fresh dirt of his grave and she weeps for how horrible and tragic Darcy's life was, and why is it always the good people...the gentle and well-meaning people who only want to love and be loved in return and have good, happy lives...that end up like Darcy??
"I thought I would be the one to be laying in a grave of a broken heart..." she whispers into the dirt between sobs. "Uncle John is right...mentors and students should never try to be in relationships together!" She continues crying, and then glances over at Kaiden. "See? Look at Kaiden? Another victim of a mentor/student-relationship taken to the physical level! Nothing but tragedy and heart-break!" she whispers to Darcy. "But you know what? It's none of our faults. It really isn't. You can't help who you love. I was just fortunate that my mentor was wiser than I was and didn't give in to my pleading, or I KNOW I would have ended up with this same fate!" she whispers into the dirt. "I would have died FOR John or BECAUSE of John...one way or another. Oh Darcy...if only Aidan had been wise or kind! You might right now be with someone who really loved you! Not lying dead and cold in the ground!" Kassandra holds her forehead in her hand and closes her eyes, and stays like that for a long time.
Finally she opens her eyes. "I'm sorry...you are finally at peace...resting...and I'm here being emotional and negative...stirring things up. I didn't mean to disturb you...I just wanted you to know that I have been watching everything you've been going through, and I feel so bad for you for what happened..." Kassandra starts to cry quietly again. "And I wish there could have been two of me so one of me could have shown you a better life...shown you what it's like to be with someone who speaks only kind words to the man she's with...who showers him with attention and praise, who never takes him for granted, and who wants nothing more than to be with him day and night. I wish I could have shown you that and brought you a little happiness in your life. I wish you could have known what me and Rick have. I wish I could have seen your face shining and radiant with the love of a good woman." she whispers, and then lowers her head again and sighs.
"Maybe you'll have that chance now." she wishes with all her heart. She raises her face and looks up at the pin-lights twinkling in the black sky. "Please, gods...let him have that chance now..." she whispers with all her force of will behind it.
She kneels like that for a long while, concentrating up at the stars with a pleading look on her face, and then finally relaxes and exhales. She smoothes her hand across the moist dirt gently, and then softly pats it.
"I'll go now. The drum circle was nice and it lightened everyone's grief a little. I hope you ARE in a better place...and are happy now...and whole. And I--" Kassandra starts to cry again. "--I wanted you to know that I appreciated how nice you were to me the first day I moved in, and I appreciated you inviting me to the drum circle club, and I appreciated how easy you were to talk to, and how you let me ask you all those questions about Verbenas-- even though you didn't know me at all yet. I appreciated you being so friendly when I was feeling so lonely and out-of-place. And I appreciated you not laughing at my note, and for how you talked to me about it with respect and compassion. I'm sorry you were miserable and had to turn to drugs and alcohol to escape. I wish I could have been a better friend to you in return. You're a good person, Darcy. I miss you." she says.
She bows her head with her hand resting on the dirt, and then finally stands up and brushes off her pants. She wishes Rick were here. She wants nothing more right now that to cuddle up in his arms in bed and just be held, and to hold him back and whisper how much she loves him again and again and again until he has no doubt in his mind about how she feels about him. She resolves to do that the next time she talks to him. She'll never let him wonder.
She looks over her shoulder at the grave as she turns towards her house, and then holds up her hand in farewell and pauses a moment...and then finally turns and walks back into her garden, heading for home.